A first class, solid gold, teeth whitening cunting for this abominable waste of skin.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/11125871/jack-johnson-wants-public-to-pay-for-teeth-look-like-david-beckham/

This putrid fuck-monkey is apparently a self-styled, ‘benefits king’ and has some retarded obsession to look like his ‘hero’ David Beckham.

To this end, he has started a crowdfunding page to try and raise £3500 for new gnashers, so that he can look like him. I mean, has the cunt got no friends or mirrors?

Honestly, it’s people (and I use that word very loosely here) like this that super-heat my piss to such a degree, my bladder could be mistaken for a fusion reactor. This cunt’s on benefits, raping the system for all it’s worth and then has the bastard effrontary to ask the general public to help him get cosmetic/dental surgery!!

I am, by nature, quite a placid human being, but I would dearly love to beat this fat monger with a brick to within an inch of it’s life.

Smile you cunts….

Nominated by 3D Cunt

COVID-19 scammers are the current scum of the earth. There are reports of these cunts conning people into buying non-existent or totally useless self-testing kits.

Don’t fall for it. Don’t buy anything online. My only hope is that these cunts catch it and die in agony, perhaps by being force fed Chinese bat stew.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

Oh, what a gay day for a limp-wristed cunting of Barrie Drewitt-Barlow.

This effete, Qweer Charmer lookalike with the Tintin hair made some sort of perverted history in 1999, when he and his “hubby” had twins. Those little bundles of misery have grown up now and his “daughter” took unto herself a boyfriend. It now appears the 25-year old “boyfriend” has taken up with camp daddy, and they are expecting triplets:

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/11126628/britain-first-gay-dad-triplets-daughter-ex/

I feel sorry for the poor little bastards since “Barrie” (he clearly spells “ducky” as “duckie”) and his partners have now managed to fuck up five new lives.

It begs the question, how much of the bill are we picking up to gratify the perversions of these two ageing queens?

Probably none actually. This cunt and his ex-partner are millionaires. This is a self-funded, ‘buy-a-baby’ thing, a la Dame Elton John and his ball and chain.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Checkout queue jumpers are cunts…

When there’s a queue at a shop checkout and another till opens, I always say ‘You were before me… Go ahead’ to anyone in front of me, but the fuckers who are behind me, who simply swan over to the newly opened till not giving a fuck who is in front of them, or how long they’ve been waiting, are fucking bastards. Where was this pond life brought up?!

Cunts like that make me ashamed to be British and as they say on Skaro, they should be fucking ex-termi-nated!

Nominated by Norman

Good news is no news, the old saying goes. On the other hand, BAD news is always news, and bloody hell, as ever, there’s plenty of it about. Naturally, the meeja just loves to pile on the gloom and doom to depress us all.

Coronavirus is on the rampage, an epidemic that’s about to acquire superstar, pandemic status. As well as the cost in human misery, the effects on the global economy are predicted to be dire. Over in Brussels, EU plutocrats want to play the cunt in trade negotiations, and this could mean that we’ll run out of everything as a consequence. The planet’s on fire, so we’re told repeatedly by creepy truant Grunta Thunderbox and her cult following. The Middle East certainly is on fire, pushing yet more hordes of migrants ( not to mention a load of pure chancers) in Europe’s direction. To add to the fun, yet more storms threaten to batter the living daylights out of us, with the the Met Office in its element, predicting the equivalent of a month’s rainfall in a day. The Markles are back in the UK, spreading their own unique brand of irritation and annoyance, and the Villa look odds on for the drop; yes, there’s news that goes from the sublime to the ridiculous, and none of it good. Read awl abaht it!

It just seems to go on and on…the stories peppered with alarmist trigger words such as ‘DISASTER’, ‘CATASTROPHE’, ‘CHAOS’, ‘HORROR’ and the like. Never mind though, as according to NASA, there’s a huge, fuck off asteroid heading straight for us come the end of April. Apparently it’s a planet killer, so if it strikes, it’ll be Goodnight Vienna. We can all bend over, put our heads between our knees and kiss our arses goodbye. It’ll be the end of all our troubles. Yet at the same time, we’re told to keep calm and carry on. Don’t panic! Don’t panic! Don’t hoard tins of beans and bog roll. You end up not knowing what to believe.

I’m sick of hearing this shit. Isn’t there some good news out there for the meeja to report on, instead of the relentless barrage of paranoia-inducing negativity they subject us to? Well fuck that. I’ve got my book in one hand, and a very large glass of malt in the other (just a touch of soda), and I’m off to bed to snuggle up to the wife. I fully expect to wake up after a good night’s sleep, to face the first day of the rest of my life, as will the overwhelming majority of us. It’s normal. I’d call that good news, but don’t expect to read about it in ‘The Mail’ or ‘The Express’. They’re just desperately waiting for an announcement about a new royal baby being on the way. That’s THEIR idea about what constitutes some good news to the rest of us. Give us a fucking break.

Nominated by Ron Knee