The Media/Coronavirus/Football.

Just a quick drive-by Cunting for the idea that the Media seem to have that we are all desperate to hear when football will return….I couldn’t care less. I’m aware that some people are interested,but the media seems to believe that we are ALL obsessed by when the multi-millionaire mercenary pantomime will restart.

I wonder if there is some sort of “bread and circuses” thinking behind it…. just give the Plebs their football and they’ll be happy.

Nominated by Dick de Pfeffel Foxchaser-Fiddler

New normal.

A pandemic sized cunting if you please for this nightmarish phrase.
A phrase I only thought possible in a cheap 70s dystopian sci-fi piece.
‘New normal’ is essentially a way for cunts to try pushing living (seemingly indefinitely) like a hermit. Forbidden to experience lifes Joy’s and wonder.
As soft as it sounds life is made worthwhile by what’s outside your door. The ‘old’ normal….. It wasnt perfect and theres plenty about it that could be cunted. But ultimately the reason for getting out of bed in the morning is the possibility of having a laugh, shagging some poor old slapper or drinking copious amounts of booze, down the nearest spit n sawdust….normal for me anyway. But whatever your ‘normal’ is should never be forgotten. It’s a privilege that we in the west were afforded through countless wars and blood spilt. No cunt should try selling to you the idea of a ‘controlled’ life. Bound to the rules of state. Pushing you to accept a loss of freedom through emotional blackmail and fear. Unfortunately the Corona is here. We need to learn to live with it and experience our lives again. Not watch it go by in our front rooms soiling our briefs at maybe dying someday.

Nominated by Cuntoxed

Neuro-Diverse Students – The new buzzword for students with mental-health issues.

Apparently with the current lockdown in place students at Cumbria University are studying from home, but it would seem some of them just can’t cope with the isolation and change of routine. This is causing a “great deal of stress and anxiety”

As a consequence teachers and the university itself are going to change its methods to accommodate these individuals, while also suggesting “We need more positive role models to inspire and empower neuro-diverse learners to join the workforce.”

Recommended adjustments include:-

• Sharing resources prior to a session
• Providing clear content and avoiding unnecessary content that may distract
• Avoiding high contrast colours, considering the dark text on pastel background
• No timed assessments/quizzes if not required
• Communicate in plain language
• Avoid idioms and sarcasm when communicating
• Use images to contextualise the subject

Expect lots of desperate students and other snowflakes to come out with “I’m neuro-diverse, therefore I shouldn’t be told to do this that or the other unless I am accommodated!”

The only real issue I have with all this bollocks is that those people with genuine mental problems (genuine autism, depression etc.) will not receive the help they desperately need because of all those bogus attention-seeking cunts jumping to the front of the queue screaming “I’m having an anxiety attack. Facebook is offline!”

Nominated by Technocunt

Amazon

This behemoth keeps piling billions into the bank account of its mega cunt owner who sounds and looks like something from the muppets. Obviously not content with being the richest cunt on the planet this megalomaniac runs sweat shops across the globe with full in tax evasion tax haven measures in place. Obviously he knows he has to pay lip service to being a philanthropist and that is what he does on the understanding those muggy enough to believe he’s really a humanitarian underneath it all believe it. Please please can someone somewhere create a British equivalent to compete wouldn’t be half as bad if we had a cunt of our own answerable to the once great British public. In the meantime my fellow sheep I need to place an Amazon order because it’s all too fucking easy and convenient at the moment…..his wealth has gone up around $400 billion. At this rate he will buy UK Plc and own us all. Mega Cunt

Nominated by RJ Cuntingham

Can I request a colossal waste-of-bandwidth cunting for PIDCAST?

Yes cunters, fresh from having managed to fuck up a parliamentary majority of 9000 in North West Durham, a Labour seat since Pontius was in flying school, instead of getting a proper job Piddlecock has resurfaced as the National Secretary of The Peoples Assembly – ‘who they’ you ask? Well, I’ll tell you: a collection of cunts who think that fucking austerity off and pissing money away on the indolent scrotes who won’t graft but do want beer and money is a good idea. As I say, cunts.

Anyway on with the cunting. The lovely horse-faced Laura has weaseled her way in to a tidy little number and her first effort is to start up ‘Pidcast’ and interview our old favourite: Magic Grandpa! Ta da!
It fucking astounds me how these cunts just cannot get the message – still giving the scruffy old cunt a voice instead of leaving him in the toilet of failure that he so expertly flushed himself down. Obviously her gusset will be damp from the excitement of whispering her fawning slaver to her messiah & no doubt she’ll be thinking how good his wrinkled old cock would have felt up her gary glitter had the Red Flag flown over No10, but for the rest of us it’s a fucking drain on the dwindling bandwidth available, now that all the 5G masts are burnt down.

La Piddlecock is, amd always will be a cunt …and so is her Pidcast.

Nominated by The Stained Gusset