Ok, I’m steering away from politicians, celebrities and other left wing filth for a change. Today, I’m nominating my mother’s ex-friend, who I shall refer to as ‘shitbag’. This may get a little long, so apologies mods. Shitbag is a hypocrite, petty, a know it all, controlling and, worst of all, the nosiest cunt in the history of curtain twitchers. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, escapes the gaze of this prod nose. Her house backs on to the street my mother lives on and every time a car or van she didn’t recognise drove on to it, my mother would get a text, “who’s that? Where are they going? What are they doing”? Honestly, that’s word for word.
Anyway, I’m nominating shitbag over the manner of their falling out, and the way shitbag has falsely tried to frame it as my mother’s fault. Shitbag has underlying health conditions, not least of which is COPD (which she seems to think is best treated with endless cigarettes). At the start of the shutdown, she received a letter from the government telling her to stay indoors. Being a control freak, in her mind this meant that EVERYONE over 70 with medical conditions i.e. my mother who has arthritis and other joint problems. And she became upset when my mother said, “forget that”, my medical conditions are mechanical. So she’s been going out three times a week. This prompted shitbag, to compose a text to her sister (shitbag’s sister) slagging off my mother, and me (more on that shortly). Unfortunately for shitbag, she’s not very bright, so she sent the text to my mother instead of her sister. My mother responded with a simple “Got the text you meant to send to your sister, I think it’s best if we don’t speak again. Ever”. Rather restrained I think.
I’m also in the firing line because for one thing, I’ve been going to my mother’s on a daily basis. So I’ve been getting slagged. What shitbag doesn’t know, is that I’m officially my mother’s carer, so I have a legitimate reason for going. My greatest offence though, is one that I’m not even guilty of. A few months back while my mother was out shopping one early Saturday, she called me and asked me to pick up something from her house that she’d forgotten. I duly obliged and as I was leaving the street, I saw shitbag stood at the bus stop and I waved. She waved back. A couple of hours later, mother got a phone call from shitbag demanding an apology from me for the unforgivable sin of not giving her a lift in return for a lift to hospital she gave me that was not asked for. There’s just one problem with that which she has either forgotten or is ignoring. Early last year, I took her up to Go Outdoors in Ancoats, Manchester because she wanted to buy a coat (we eventually left empty handed because she didn’t like any of the many women’s coats on sale). Now call me silly, but I’d say, that that outing, which was much further than the lift she gave me, more than returns the favour. But not in shitbag’s mind apparently. And she has been sulking over my not giving her a lift from that bust stop since fucking January.
Most people think shitbag has been studiously observing her government ordered isolation, but she hasn’t. I know, because I, my mother and others have seen her slinking out of her house early in the morning to go shopping, which makes her a fucking hypocrite. This hasn’t stopped her from slagging us off to mutual friends though, and trying to say that my mother misunderstood the text and threw a hissy fit. Unfortunately for shitbag, they already know the truth and have seen the text, so they know that it cannot possibly be misunderstood. But that’s how shit bag rolls, it’s always someone else’s fault. This woman is 74 years old, but acts like a five year old girl. With ADHD. And OCD. She is, to put it mildly, a cunt.
Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw
