The Markles: An Everyday Story of Cunty Folk (Vol 3)

THE MARKLES; an everyday story of cunty folk.

The story so far; Meghan and the Half-blood Prince have fled smog-bound LA for a
mansion in Santa Barbara, from where the Mistress of Malice continues to plot her remorseless ascent to the Presidency. Now read on.

Meagain gazed rapturously across the immaculately cropped lawn of her new home to the California hills, shimmering in the haze of the afternoon heat. “Ain’t it just all too wunnerful” she gushed greedily, “wine cellar, library, swimmin’ pool, nine bedrooms, sixteen bathrooms… all for a mere fifteen million bucks. This is A+ list territory Harry; we done got Oprah Winfrey an’ Ellen DeGeneres livin’ right next to us in the hood!”.

The Prince of Sighs blinked rapidly and an expression of doubt flickered across his gormless features. “Er, it’s all very well and all that rot, pumpkin” he whimpered, “but a chap’s never had the need to take out a mortgage in a chap’s life before”.

“Now you listen”, hissed the Princess of Perfidy, her tongue flickering across her thin lips. “In this marriage, you leave the thinking to me, okay? ‘Finding Freedom’, the shocking, sensational story of how we were side-lined and betrayed by your family, is all set to fly off the shelves, an’ soon I’ll work out a movie deal for it. Might even play myself. The cash is gonna roll in. It’s all part of The Plan”.

“If you say so, sugar lump”, replied the Duke of Dim vaguely. “I say, hang on. Did you say that we’ve got that DeGenerate woman as a neighbour? Creature’s a damn tuppence licker!”.

“For Gaawd’s sakes Harry” rasped Meghan, “how many more times? Don’t talk like that! We’re playing the Duke and Duchess of Diversity, you idiot!”.

“Oh sorrers again, old thing”, muttered Halfwit remorsefully, “just that a chap’s got to draw a line, and what have you”. His attention wandered once again, but then his face brightened. “I say sweetness”, he burbled, “why don’t we throw a house-warming bash? We could invite the Obumas, and Bill and Hillary Clintstone, and that George Clueless chappie. We could do fancy dress. I’m sure I’ve got my old Nazi costume somewhere…”.

The Duchess of Deceit clamped her eyes together, shook her head, and drew in a deep breath. “Now listen to me”, she snarled, “very carefully. I’ve arranged for you to make another video to keep us high profile with the common people, and show how much we care. There’s a film crew out front, and I’ve written out what you’re gonna say on big white boards. C’mon, let’s go”.

“Right ho, my belovéd”, said the Pussy-whipped Prince, trotting along at the heels of his mistress with puppy-like devotion. “Erm, will you stay and hold my hand?”.

“No Harry”, explained the Mistress of Manipulation patiently, as though speaking to a child. “I’m off to fire the new nanny. Now try to sound concerned and caring”.

The Duke stood in front of the camera and began to murmer woodenly. “Hi, I’m the Duke of Sussex, but you can call me Harry. My wife has told me to tell you all how concerned we are about climate change and all that stuff. In fact, we’re soooooooo
concerned about damage to the environment that we’ve taken extreme measures to limit our carbon whatnot and do our bit to preserve the world’s scarce resources. We’re absolutely determined to lead by example; so much so that our modest little house in Santa Barbara only has sixteen bathrooms, and the pool isn’t even Olympic sized…”.

To be continued.

Nominated by Ron Knee

52 thoughts on “The Markles: An Everyday Story of Cunty Folk (Vol 3)

    • The old DofE will send round a chauffeur driven Merc for a tour of Los Angeles underpasses.

  1. For two people who left the UK to escape the media they seem to be in news quite often….and spouting bollocks.

    The cunts….

    • I must say that I’ve developed a bit of a soft spot for these two. They’re such a pair of self-centred cunts, with their heads shoved so far up their entitled arses, that they have no sense of just how ludicrous and ridiculous they’ve become.
      They’re a massive public entertainment, to be treasured by cunters everywhere.

      • Indeed Ron. So much that they have even become a parody of the self-entitled spoiled, ruling classes.

        I reckon Harry Hewitt is now on pussy ‘rations’ and that will only have one outcome…

  2. He’s so pussywhipped it’s painful. That latest video where she guffed about continuing HM legacy.. Harry should have corrected her immediately. Immediately! Then afterwards shoved her head in the toilet. His facial expressions say it all – lust has fucked him up the ass.

    Their divorce is going to make the mgtow/redpill stuff go mainstream and be the cultural tipping point for young men refusing marriage. Invest in cat food and wine stocks now.

    • I remember reading somewhere that Eddie boy got a cool mill to fuck off from the UK; a terrific sum of cash in the pre-war years. Wonder what kind of a pay-off these two wasters will end up with?

  3. The subjects of this cunting are dead to one. The cunting itself is probably the best I’ve seen on these hallowed pages.

  4. He has certainly been Markled….
    And he is such a thick cunt
    He doesn’t realise

  5. The most cucked man since Edward VIII. Lesson one thicko. Don’t marry a divorced American if your a Windsor. Twat.

    • At least with Edward and Wallace they didn’t have to go out virtue signaling. I think they just got pissed in their chateau half the time..
      Yes Wallace was agrieved she didn’t get the ‘HRH’ title but she got got on with entertaining and buying her jewelly and being in fasionalbe circles.
      My point she wouldn’t have expected to be held up as a supremely virtuous person, nor Edward. But these two want the entertaining the shopping being fashionable and all the rest AND for people to hold them in high esteem because of their charitable work -which amounts to making a video now and again.

      I have heard it was a very cultured circle they E&W created. Again the talk might have been pretentious about the latest art work or book but at least THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING. What have Meghan and Harry to talk about ? Fuck all except scanning the media for virtue signaling opportunities.

    • Just an aside – apparently Wallace knew a few tricks in the bedroom dept., and old Edward couldn’t do without it. Wonder if Markle’s the same. Do you think if I wrote to the Queen, she might tell me?

      • I read that Edward Prince of Wales and Wallis Simpson had a marriage of convenience rather than a love affair. They were in fact both gay.

  6. Marvellous stuff, Ron. Given your name, do you also write the Sylvie Krin columns in Private Eye?

    • Thanks DK; sorry don’t know the column you mention. Haven’t seen PE since I can’t remember when. I did take the ‘Ron Knee’ name from there tho when I was looking for an alias on here.

      • Brilliant stuff Ron. I’m ashen faced in amazement.

        You can always spot a Knee Nom right from the first sentence. But as for the Sussex’s this will write itself for years to come. Obviously Hewitt Jnr is going to get cast aside eventually and will be back in the U.K. tail between his legs, in fairness he’d be brilliant returning to military charities.

        Komodo and Dark Key are spot on. Their ‘Heir of Sorrows‘ is the template and hilariously ramps the stupidity up with (in)appropriate adjectives. You’ll get the idea.


        Pevsner og ; Kalashnikov etc etc

  7. Episode three, will the Halfwitt ever find his Balls, ‘in search of Harry’s balls’

    Another Great story, put them all together Ron, get crowdfunded on ISAC and publish, it will outsell the little Princess sob story.

    • I’ll no doubt be nominated as ‘Pedant Cunt of the Year’ by our esteemed Admins, but this is in fact Chapter 3!.
      ‘The Markles’ seems to be quite well received on here so I’ll try to keep them coming. It’ll be up to fellow cunters to let me know if and when it wears itself out!!

      (You are quite correct, Ron. We lost track due to naming conventions with previous volumes. But this has now been resolved – Day Admin)

  8. The biggest hooking and manipulation of a major public figure since John Lennon got into the clutches of Yoko Cunting Fucking Bastard Sea Hag Ono.

    David Beckham and his cunt of a wife don’t count. Strictly B-List.

  9. About time the little tart was pumping out another brat isn’t it? Perhaps she is rationing the pussy for poor old Gingerbollocks? He’ll be shagging the domestic staff if she doesn’t watch out, that’s what English princes have always done. Still Sparkle Tits is not really up on history and protocol is she? Didn’t like being told what to do by Her Maj…….white supremacist bitch!

  10. A selection of comments and reviews of “The Markles” by Ron Knee

    “A tour de force of Dostoyeskian dimensions that puts Knee in line for the Nobel Prize for Literature.” The Times Literary Supplement

    “Racist, sexist, homophobic Knee will no doubt laugh his way to the bank as millions of Brexit meat eaters buy his environmentally-unfriendly book.” The Guardian

    “Loved the description of Meghan´s tits on page 3 but never got any further.” The Sun

    “It has come to our attention that Mr. Knee´s good wife is from Edinburgh. We trust she will disassociate herself from this work which is filled with filthy words that no decent God-fearing person would utter, blasphemy and attacks on sacred institutions like marriage.” The Scotsman

    “The British Broadcasting Corporation would like to register its distaste for this book, although none of us have actually read it, but wish to assure anyone who might be offended by it, particularly ethnic minorities, indeed minorities of all kinds, even minorities within minorities, that it will not be broadcast on A Book at Bedtime.” A BBC spokesperson

    “Fucking great read, Ron. Not bad for a Pom. Peed myself laughing as I chucked another shrimpie on the barbie and siphoned the python after a few Fosters” Professor Les Patterson, Head of Australia Literary Studies at the University of Dismal Swamp, Queensland

    “How dare you Ron Knee! You have stolen my dreams. I wanted to marry an English prince who loves the rain forest as much as I do. Instead he runs off to Trumpland with this exotic temptress when he could have had me and my boat. We could have sailed around the world together saving the planet and shitting in the same non-plastic, recyclable bucket ” Greta Thunberg

    “Racist, racist and racist. Did I say racist? One of my friends also thought it was racist before he was killed in the racist Grenfell fire.” David Lammy

      • Dear Ron, I am honoured by your recognition. As Isaac Newton said of those who inspired him, “”If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”
        I can´t wait to read on…

    • Hahaha Polly. That’s almost better than Ron’s legendary column itself.

      But not quite.

  11. In line with Woke Procedures Vol 7, all films, books and other media with what may be considered “Outdated Values of the Time” shall have a clear and precise warning printed in bold letters at the front of said media.

    Dear Mr. Knee, please add a suitable warning at the beginning of your prose as there may be snowflakes who, quite by accident, may see your writings.. Thank you.

    • Duly noted, m’lud.
      Any future chapters will be preceeded by this warning;

      ‘Those of a nervous disposition and/or an inclination to ‘woke’sermonising please note. The undernoted piece displays outmoded assumptions and casual sexist and racist language which may lead to bedwetting’.

  12. Great cunting Ron as always. It could have been a ‘Spitting Image’ script of old but I doubt these two will feature in the new series even though their right-on patronising drivel is ripe for a savage piss take.

  13. I’m loving this series so far and I’m sure there will be a twist at the end….Great cunting

  14. Dearest Meghan darling, can i just say if you don’t mind that, well, you never seem to suck one’s royal cock anymore like you did back in the UK and Canada when you promised that it would be a nightly occurance.
    Harry, as i keep telling you, what is more satisfying, teaching our millions of followers how to be woke or you shooting your royal cream down my throat every night?

    • Markles gives me the ‘orn too.

      I’d probably agree to daft shit to get her gob around my bellend too. “What’s that honey? Take a knee to the peacefuls and clean their feet? Say I want drag queens teaching in our schools? Write a poem about how amazing Greta Thunderpants is? Goz on President Trump? Do you promise to touch it later? Awww ok then.”

      Harry is being held hostage by her minge, no doubt about it.

  15. This cunting is so brilliant that I must voice my admiration from beyond the grave.

  16. If the daft fucker puts up with it more fool him.
    Fucked now though – and expect a bitter divorce and “tell all” book by Pwincess fried chiggun and a lifetime of American chat shows where she can whine about racism and play the victim for a million dollars a time, then a weepy and highly publicised acceptance into the democ rat party to begin her political career “as a wimminz and victim of waycism”.. – this shit writes itself. (And she is a natural successor to the antichrist Pelosi)
    Chiselling low rent mulatto and rich thick cunt – they deserve each other, pull up a chair, open the popcorn and enjoy the implosion.

  17. Interesting blog called Harrymarckle.
    I do not understand why a house/mansion has so many more bogs than bedrooms. What do they do?

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