Harry Maguire is a cunt.

Apart from his (lack of) footballing ability, this cunt has got himself nicked for brawling while on holiday in Greece. The social media mongs that masquerade as ‘fans can slag off Greeks all they want, but the Captain of Manchester United shouldn’t ever be putting himself in that sort of situation. Said spazzes carping on that Maguire is ‘innocent’ (when he isn’t) don’t help either. And Maguire’s family and ‘entourage’ seem to be a bunch of knobhead retards and all.

Once there were Captains like Charlton, Buchan, Robson and even Gary Nev and Willie Morgan. Now it’s another brain dead meat headed cunt who is a big an embarrassment off the pitch as he is on it.

Nominated by Norman

I’ve long maintained that Rashford should be United’s captain. No matter what one thinks of his political activities earlier in the year he’s a lifelong fan and seems to carry himself like a leader – admin. 

Any ‘help’ line

Why does every cunting helpline waste (even more) of my time by having a robot tell me that to protect their staff, during these challenging times, waffle waffle etc. ’wait times’ (waiting, not wait, wait is not an adjective in this sense, fuckwits) will be longer than usual? I.e. blaming Covid for under-manning their call centres to save their time and money by wasting your time? It’s bad enough having to wait without them making you wait longer while they state the bleeding obvious. Often you listen to this only for a second robot to tell you that opening times are not as advertised, we cannot answer your call (because of Covid) and cut you off.

Fuck me, I was wondering why everyone is wearing a mask, the roads are empty and queues for the Post Office are spaced at 2m, half way down the street. And I can’t go to Spain without house arrest on my return. Thanks for the fucking heads-up…

What was your twatting excuse for the years before Covid then?

Nominated by Copper nano tube

As the Coronavirus thread is all but dead I think it’s time we had a new go at the ultimate hand-wringing experience to come our way, certainly in my many years on the planet.

Firstly, I DO think it exists, it IS dangerous to certain people in society and I do not think this is some fake virus that will allow Bill Gates to inject us all with Windows 98 (SE)

I do however think this is the biggest fraud I have ever seen in my life, sure you can die from it but I could die from pricking my finger while gardening, some drunk hitting me in my car or a multitude of other ways to croak.

The present government (and the world) have gone stir crazy…madder than shit-house rats. They can get away with it by blaming the advice of “experts” while said experts are drawing a huge salary courtesy of the tax payer.

Do I know anyone who has died from it? Do I fuck.

Do I know anyone who has had it? Well, the guy in the Ford dealership who service my car claims that his mates best friends mum had it…she was probably drunk on Vodcat though.

Do I know anyone who has been made redundant from the whole mess? Yes, quite a few actually.

Have I heard the stories on the radio of cancer patients who have now died because the hospitals closed down to allow the nurses to dance on TicTok? Yes I have.

Have I read about all the depression, the alcohol dependents, the people who have lost their businesses because of the over-reaction? Yes I have.

So I hand it to you, the biggest fuck up ever, invented but the Chinese and mis-handled by ever other country in the world.

Nominated by Spanky McSpank

Proportional Representation (PR)

For decades there have been arguments for and against this form of voting system, with supporters suggesting it is far fairer and more representative than the current “First Past The Post” system.

So anyway, I read this news articles this morning, suggesting that PR should replace FPTP purely because it is far more “democratic and thus fairer”

But when you look closer at the article, you realise who wants this to happen: some LibDumb cunt, backed by a Labour cunt. Well what a fucking surprise!

The fact both parties got well and truly shit on in the last 3 elections suggests that no one cares about you or your half-baked undemocratic woke policies, even if it was through FPTP.

Some cunt called “Emma Knaggs” (yes, really!) said in the article, ““The Government has a landslide majority of seats, but this is despite the Conservatives receiving less than 44 per cent of the votes.”

In other words it’s not fair, according to her, and typically the rules must be changed.

Whether PR would have made any difference in the last election is moot, but the whinging from these losers is pathetic beyond belief.

https://bromsgrovestandard.co.uk/news/make-votes-matter-event-in-bromsgrove-will-call-for-fairer-voting-system/

Nominated by Technocunt

Banksy

‘The British street artist Banksy has financed a boat to rescue refugees attempting to reach Europe from north Africa.

The vessel, named Louise Michel after a French feminist anarchist, set off in secrecy on 18 August from the Spanish seaport of Burriana, near Valencia, and is now in the central Mediterranean where on Thursday it rescued 89 people in distress, including 14 women and four children.’

What a philanthropist. Selflessly burdening the people of Malta and Italy with yet more refugees. And apparently being told to fuck off by the authorities of these countries.

Surely he could somehow sponsor these people, bring them to the UK and put them up in his home? I am sure there are a host of other arty farty luvvies who will also throw their mansions open in a good cause.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Then the Big Chunky County chimed in:

Yet another painting by numbers cunting for this talentless cretin, who once again is nowhere to be seen whilst jerking off to his own publicity (probably).

His privately financed flamboyant, but hopefully not too buoyant, ex-french marine vessel is now stranded in the Mediterranean with 219 aspiring architects, drill artistés, rappers and rocket scientists aboard. And now one dead cunt – how long until cannibalism?

Predictably the vessels calls for help are being ignored by all authorities. This is all squarely on wanksys shoulders, yet he’s moaning to the EU. The cunt.

The cunt dropped £850k on this boat. Definitely the calling sign of a woke celebrity wanker! In which case they should all be immediately ferried to Bristol, docked, and bussed straight to Robert Del Najas art gallery.

Wanksy should be unmasked for being such a pretentious life endangering cunt.

With Fuglyucker rounding things off:

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A spray on the wall for the vandal otherwise known as Banksy, this stupid cunt has spent 860 quid on an ex french naval tub the help rescue the tide of shit trying to get to the uk so they can milk the NHS, benefits and housing systems, i suppose he,s lucky the boat didnt sink with 280 shit stains aboard, im tempted to find out where it gets parked and do some spray can art on it myself, something like fuck off you immigrant sponging cunts and a rat with a french flag.
Ffs when are they going to put a stop to these fuckers, Aussy gun boat style it makes me want to move abroad so i can be in a minority group there before i become one here…..Banksy you are a cunt, fuck off to Calias with your spray cans …..