Now here’s a story that you don’t see very often; in fact, they’re as rare as the proverbial hen’s teeth.

Three salt-of-the-earth lads from Yorkshire have been found guilty of committing serious sexual offences against a minor and have been ‘caged’ (as the tabloids would have it) for a total of 41 years. I know, it’s unthinkable, isn’t it?

These charmers have been named as Banaras Hussain, Talish Ahmed, and Mohammed Akrem. Beautiful British names, I’m sure you’ll agree. No doubt you’ll also be delighted to learn that we’ll be paying for bed and board (halal, I’m sure) for these three skidmarks for the duration.

Personally I’d like to fit each one with a concrete welly, fly them fifty miles out over the North Sea, and drop them off from a great height. Couldn’t have that, mind; it would likely lead to accusations of showing disrespect for their ‘cultural values’, not to mention their ‘human rights’.
Couldn’t have that, could we?

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/jail-groomed-girl-raped-playground-145128940.html

Nominated by – Ron Knee

How to get banned from going within 500 metres of a school.

Yet another name for the same work shy scrounging cunts that are Extinction Rebellion and their ilk.

‘Animal rights protestors have blockaded the entrance to a Scunthorpe factory which makes burger patties for McDonald’s.

Officers from Humberside Police are in attendance at the OSI Food Solutions distribution centre, in Luneburg Way, following reports of dozens of people gathering at the site during the early hours.

In a statement this morning, the protest group Animal Rebellion says it is “prepared to stay as long as needed to cause massive disruption to McDonald’s supply chain and encourage works and supporters to join them in their occupation”.

The group says more than 50 protestors have set up a blockade using trucks, tents, bamboo structures and a roof occupation to stop the facility from distributing burgers. It is demanding that McDonald’s switches to a fully plant-based menu by 2025.’

I wouldnt personally touch Maccy D’s with a fucking bargepole but that is my personal choice, not any other cunt’s. Yes, a few cunts (there are actually only about 12 of them, all middle class non residents of Scunny) have decided what is good for the rest of us.

They are up on bamboo stilts so that elf&safety is a factor in removing them. The same bunch of cunts who blockaded print works because the decided that the Newspapers’ editorials were insufficiently loopy. They have put 100s of minimum pay workers, many of them agency, out of work.

Isnt it time that there was legislation to stop minority cunts disrupting life for ordinary working people? The cops dont seem to be able to do anything and if this shit carries on we will be effectively ruled by lefty fucking lunatics.

I would love a bunch of local Polish workers to nip down there tonight and explain the facts of working life to them. With extreme prejudice.

https://www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk/news/local-news/updates-protestors-blockade-scunthorpe-factory-5654292

Nominated by – Cuntstable Cuntbubble

And talking of scruffy, mental “liberation” activists, here’s this offering from Mr Polly

National Liberation Fronts

I recently saw a reference to a bizarre-sounding outfit called the Revolutionary Cells – Animal Liberation Brigade (RCALB) and checked it out. To my astonishment I found dozens of similar animal rights groups with odd names. My favorite was the Lobster Liberation Front which has attacked fishermen´s catches in Dorset and Stranraer in Scotland.

This got me thinking about the classic Life of Brian sketch on the various Palestinian liberation organizations with ludicrous names.

It would probably be impossible to list all the “liberation fronts” that are or have been but here are a couple. Remember the National Front for the Liberation of South Vietnam, better know as the Vietcong? It was actually an army backed by North Vietnam, China and Russia but pretended it was a popular guerrilla force made up of poor peasants and patriots.

The Farabundo Marti Liberation Front consisted of five leftist guerrilla groups and fought in El Salvador. It eventually dismantled itself when a kind of democracy was formed.

The National Front in England has got nowhere while the National Front in France has fielded presidential candidates and is still a major player.

Ongoing prominent national liberation fronts include the Moro Liberation Front (Philippines), Tigray People´s Liberation Front, (Ethiopia), Jammu Kashmir Liberation Front and the Dick Fiddler National Liberation Front for the Eradication of Virtually Everything Except Fray Bentos Pies and Gemma Arterton´s Knickers (DFNLFEVEEFBPGAK).

No idea why I chose this image…

Grrrrrrrrrr…. I’m just back from a short walk, and another pedestrian crossing altercation with an entitled lycra cunt on a bike.Time for another cunting on the subject, I fancy.
In mah day, a bike was an easy, reasonably affordable way for your working stiff to get about. Get yourself a cheap but sturdy set of wheels and some clips for your strides, acquire an understanding of the Highway Code, and off you went.

Sadly nowadays, fewer people seem to use the bike for such basic functions as a trip to the shop or getting to work. Unfortunately, we’ve entered the era of what might be termed the ‘recreational’ cyclist, and boy, they just HAVE to show the rest of us just how dedicated they are to their ‘sport’. So how do they do this?

Well first off, you’ve got to ‘invest’ in at least three or four grands’ worth of kit. Of course, the most essential item is the bike itself, and not just any old bike. No, you need an ultra-lite, carbon frame, 80 gear turbo racing job.

Sneer at anything costing less than a grand, but if you’ve more money than sense, you can part with upwards of 10k for your wheels.

Then you’ll need to demonstrate that you’re not just committed but fashionable with it, so you’ll need an ultra-aerodynamic Klignon contoured helmet, a Spider-man outfit in lurid salmon pink and black (suitably emblazoned with logos) and a pair of toe-crushing plastic shoes in lime green.

If the budget can extend to it, you’ll also definitely want a helmet camera. This will enable you to set up a Youtube channel where you can post films and whine sanctimonously about the trangressions of other road users.

Next, it’s advisable to master some of the basic dark arts theory of cunt cycling before you venture onto the road. There are a number of ways to do this. For example, a cheap but effective method is to subscribe to a magazine such as ‘Lycra Loony’ (incorporating ‘Two Wheeled Cunts’).

You’ll find it packed with great articles and useful tips, such as how to blind other road users with a flashing high-powered light, and the latest insults and hand gestures to hurl at pedestrians. Dvds can also be a very useful aid, providing the necessary travel details and type of background information which will help you bullshit your mates about your participation in the likes of the Mallorca 312.

Next, to show your REAL commitment to the cause, you MUST join your local cycle club. There, you’ll find the fellowship of like-minded saddos that you yearned for during those long hours of solitude in your bedroom at your mom’s house.

Most importantly, you’ll get that vital practical experience of such matters as how to hog the road in a group of twenty, while exchanging chit-chat about high-protein drinks, and measures to avoid getting your arse spattered with mud in wet weather.

So that’s you. Off you go now to enjoy yourself posing about, while driving the rest of us to distraction. Yes, you’re a fully-fledged cycle cunt. Yeah, and the same to you, with fucking knobs on.

Nominated by – Ron Knee

I’m certainly not adding a pic of Lisa Riley to this nomination.

I have recently been getting 2-3 messages every day from “Lisa Riley”…I’m assuming it’s the Fat Sow out of Emmerdale ( Mrs. Boggs will doubtless know who I mean)…telling me about the benefits of some fat-busting pills that she swears by….what I don’t understand is why tell me about them.

I’m not fat and have never in my life looked up weight-loss programmes…and even if I was some lard-arsed gut-bucket, I doubt that Lisa ” Land-Whale” Riley could convince me that she has the answer to my porkiness.

I can understand the e-mails from advertisers telling me about the 15 horny housewives who are itching to fuck me and live within a 2 mile radius of my house ( although I only know of Old Widow Charlton and at her age,mid 80s, I rather suspect her days of horniness are behind her)..my ” browsing” of Pornhub in order to be outraged would explain these e-mails.

I can understand the e-mails from Crown Prince Chetewayo Umbongo asking me to help him transfer billions of dollars out of SootyLand…my reputation as a vast Landowner and Man of Substance attracts that type.

I can understand the e-mails inviting me to buy Bitcoins…my reputation as a vast Landowner,Man of Substance and complete Fuckwit make such approaches inevitable….but I really can’t understand why Lisa Riley would consider me a Bloater ripe for plucking.

PS…Vanessa Feltz is a fat Cunt.

Nominated by – Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler

‘Green leader resigns’. I thought that’s old news. He resigned last month didn’t he. Anyway I clicked on it. Turns out that Sian Berry has resigned from the leadership of the Greens. But she was only appointed not long back wasn’t she?

It was Johnathan Bartley who resigned last month (to spend more time with his family). He was the co-leader of the Greens for cunters who are unfamiliar with this bullshit. He resigned from the leadership.

Now Sian has resigned from the leadership. And the reasons she gives? A ‘lack of leadership’ on her part. She felt that the party was sending ‘mixed messages’ over Trans Rights. So she has resigned. But she doesn’t blame anyone NO only herself.

It was HER ‘lack of leadership’ in persuading her colleagues for a more robust Trans Rights policy. But where was her co- leader in all this? Oh I forgot that’s right he has already resigned the leadership to spend more time with his family. So they have gone from a full compliment of leaders to no leadership at all.

What will happen? Well there’s a woman called Womack. Amelia. (Could you get a more Green name than that?) And she is the Deputy Leader. But wait a moment if there are two leaders surely there must be two Deputy Leaders. Seems not.
Will this Womack woman take the reigns of power?

I’ve just googled their constitution and it says there has to be two leaders one from both genders. And the same with the deputy leaders one from each gender. But I can only see one Deputy Leader. And she’s a woman. This Womack woman. But then it occurs to me she is not a man. Maybe she’s (he’s) a tranny and can bestride like a colossus this political gap.

Anyway, come to think if Sian is all for trans rights and presumably doesn’t recognise the traditional divide between male and female she is supporting a transphobic agenda isn’t she?

As I say I have just googled their constituion. And it truns out that the leader or the co- leaders the deputy leader or the deputy leaders have to be re-elected every two years. That aint very long. That’s the reason I thought why we keep hearing of the leadership of the Greens. Or the lack of leadership.

Yes, that’s it Sian. You have shown a ‘lack of leadership’ in your own words. But there is a ‘lack of leadership’ in your very constitution. I mean a lack of time. If the leadership of the party is up for relection after only two years there is not enough time for the leader or leaders to establish himself/herself. Or themselves.

Nominated by – Miles Plastic

Links helpfully provided by – Jack Nastyface

Berry Resigns

Berry quits over trans rights