“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee speaking. Today I’m joined by Scottish First Minister Humza Youseless, to discuss his remarks concerning white people made, let’s say, in a disparaging and somewhat distasteful tone to the Scottish Parliament”.

“Och it isnae ‘Youseless’, yah Anglish twat, it’s Yousaf”.

“Oh my apologies. I must have misheard references to you. Anyway, you seem to be uncomfortable that, as you put it, ‘the most senior positions in Scotland are filled almost exclusively by those who are white’, and that ‘it’s just not good enough’. Wouldn’t you consider that in terms of your own ‘hate crime’ legislation, many people will perceive these comments to be racist, or at the very least hypocritical? I believe that you’ve been reported to Police Scotland more times than JK Rowling”.

“Absolutely nort. Ah’ve bin cleared bah th’ polis on this, in spite ah vex…vexa…er malicious complaints made agin’ me ken. Ah’m nort even gettin’ ah ‘norn crime hate incident’ loggin’ agin’ mah name, yeh can be sure o’ that”.

“That’s very convenient for you. Nevertheless, you must surely see that such comments don’t exactly present you in a favourable light”.

“Ah said it then, ah’ll say it noo. It’s nae guid enough. Ah insist orn mah reet tae gie mah view, jist like everyone in Scortlund. Less o’ course ah disagree with them, in which case we’ll a’ th’ polis feelin’ their collar faster than ah rat up ah drainpipe”.

“But you make it sound as though there’s something inherently bad about the situation. After all, it just happens that 96% of Scots are white. Put it this way. You’re ethnically Asian, from Pakistan. The overwhelming number of Pakistanis could be termed brown skinned. Suppose I went there and said that ‘it’s just not good enough’ that ‘the senior positions in Pakistan are filled almost exclusively by browns’. Would you find that ‘not good enough’? Surely in both cases it’s just a simple fact of demographics”.

“Erm, ah wull och aye *thinks; cannae play th’ race card prawpulley here* aw look here’s mah lackey wi’ mah scooter. Must peddle aff tae ah meetin’ wi’ th’ Greens tae discuss mair cycle lane provision. Cyclists ah victims yeh ken, especially if they’re norn whitey…”.

Well I’m glad we got that sorted oot I mean out. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”.

youtube

Nominated by Ron Knee.

Most MPs are hypocrites, shills for their leaders , however shit they are (Reeves and Streeting for Kweer, for example) but a few are hypocritical cunts, and nobody demonstrates this better than poofter William Wragg a Conservative MP who called for Boris to resign because of Partygate – he was one of the first to submit a letter of no confidence and went rushing on TV to say so. The BBC loved him. Ditto with Liz Truss

We ALL know Partygate would have gone away, just like Blair’s cottaging and Rayner’s tax problems, but Wragg and his pals stirred the shit. I remember on one occasion the thirty-something Wragg, declared that Boris was “bringing the party into disrepute”. Well we all know what happened.

It seems, however that Wragg was sending pictures of his dick (which I can only assume is as inadequate as the rest of him) to Grindr, a casual sex “dating”service for poofs, and he was blackmailed into sending contact details for other (Conservative) MPs – he should have tried Labour – they have more than their fair share.

The result is this little shit not only retains the party whip, he got Boris replaced by the inadequate vote loser Rishi, and this little duplicitous bastard is likely to get away with it, because other parties will want to keep a lid on it because they know so many of them suffer from The Gayness. Wragg is standing down at the next election anyway, and has probably cost bis successor the job already.

But if Boris bought the party into dispute, God alone knows what this little bender has done. He is a deputy chair of the 1922 Committee, for God’s sake – throw hi out of that at least. As Monty Python’s team once said (in Australian) “NO POOFTERS”

Sky News

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

And then there’s this from Sir Limply Stoke

William Wragg MP

Oh dear Fings Ain’t What They Used To Be. Back in the ‘60s we did mucky sex properly – Guardsmen standing to attention outside the public gents at 4am. Models pleasuring MPs in Soho with dodgy Soviet Attaches involved leading to splash headlines and Governments rocked. Questions asked in The House.

What do we have now in our digital age? Tepid pimply Tory laddoes emailing piccies of their little man “under duress” to some Nasty Man who demands them on the internet. Result? Instant blackmail as the Nasty Man demands more piccies of his Tory Friends and their private mobile nos and email addresses. Name of this upstanding public servant? One William Wragg MP for Hazel Grove, Manchester.

“I got chatting to a guy on an app and we exchanged pictures. We were meant to meet up for drinks, but then didn’t.”

“Then he started asking for numbers of people. I was worried because he had stuff on me. He gave me a WhatsApp number, which doesn’t work now. I’ve hurt people by being weak.”

William Wanky Wragg has had the whip taken from him and now sits as an independent and will not apparently seek re-election (make your own Carry On gags from that lot).

Sky News

We’ve had a bit of fun on here recently at the expense of Scottish FM Dumza Youseless and his lamentable Hate Crime Act. However let’s not forget the cheek on the other side of the shitty arsehole. I refer to Daddy Pig lookalike Patrick Harvie, co-leader of the Scottish Green Loony Party.

Harvie’s stuck his head above the parapet to defend the legislation, which I presume he and his Green colleagues were a driving force behind. Apparently it’s needed as a defence against ‘a rising tide of hatred around the world’; this ‘rising tide’ naturally being an unquestionable fact in little Patrick’s mind.

Of course there’s a plot against the Hurty Wurty Feelings Act; this rising tide is ‘certainly connected to deliberate misinformation that certain people are propagating with regard to this legislation’. Huh? I don’t quite know how he makes this very dubious link for a start. How exactly is there a certain connection? Also, I wonder who these ‘certain people’ could be? Oh, witters Harvie, it’s probably to do with ‘the rise of far right movements* around the world’, or ‘it’s the effect of social media’.

Well he’s a thought Diddy. Maybe the utter distaste for your Snitch’s Charter is simply a revolt against lefty authoritarianism. That, and the fact that most people think you’re a twat and just don’t like you.

Daily Record

*yes, them again

Nominated by: Ron Knee

Have Robert and Saskya Bush, the ‘brains’ behind Legacy Independent Funeral Directors, been cunted yet?

If not it’s about time that was rectified. We all know the story by now – a pair of (alleged) chancing grifters allegedly conned fuck knows how many people out of thousands at the most heart-breaking, vulnerable time of the lives in order to fund their poxy little motorbike habit.

They (again, allegedly) took what was supposed to be one last celebration of a loved one’s life for their clients, and turned it into a nightmare, all while showing absolutely no respect whatsoever for the deceased.

Indeed, they cared that little about the people they were meant to serve that they didn’t even bother to give them the correct ashes most of the time. If or when they are convicted, I hope they are shown no mercy by their fellow inmates.

What they did transcends regular cuntitude.

Daily Mail

Nominated by: OpinionatedCunt

Justin Castro proving he’s the west’s finest dictator yet again. I use to be pro choice on the assisted suicide topic but seeing the government overreach in communist Canada has put me right off it. I feel so badly for the father in this case, your daughter is physically fine but two pure bred cunt excuses of doctors have deemed autism and ADHD as passable for assisted suicide then the cunt of a judge doesn’t even ask about the conditions and passes it.

Considering how easy it is to misdiagnose those two conditions are it’s giving the government a machine gun to get rid of people it hates potentially. I can see the UK adopting this and considering being right or centre a mental illness and putting you down. Fuck the cunts in charge of Maid.

Daily Fail

Nominated by West Cunt-ry.