Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

William Hague [2]

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William Hague is a cunt. 95.5% of people in Crimea have voted to return to Russia. This is on an 82% turnout, and with 97% of people in Crimea being ethnic Russians.

The shitty cunt, William Hague, says the referendum was a “mockery of proper democratic practice”. Shut your face you evil cunt. You wouldn’t recognize democracy if it fell out of your arse into the mouth of your mincing father at bed time.

We have the worst collection of shit in parliament ever at present, but that evil beast shit-cunt William Hague, is the worst of the worst.

Nominated by: Kiddie

Quorn

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A block of quorn, cut into cubes and fried to a golden brown, served with a nice plate of chips, makes for a tasty little meal. Well, it does if you leave out the quorn and replace it with some crisp streaky bacon and a sausage or two. And a fried egg and some beans. And several thick slices of black pudding. Plus a fried slice cooked in the bacon fat.

Consistency? Somewhere between a barbecue firelighter and a polystyrene ceiling tile. Taste? None to speak of, chewing the rubber on the tip of a pencil being a good deal more flavoursome.

Quorn is tasteless rubbery crap, don’t waste your time on it. Scoff a fat greasy burger instead, then take a dump and have a kip. Much more satisfying.

Nominated by: Tony

Ian Payne

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Ever since Colin “Already a Cunt” Murray left the Beeb the post of 5 Live’s Most Annoying Cunt has been left vacant. But not anymore…

Enter Radio 5 Live’s Ian Payne with his facetiousness, annoying voice, snarky “humour” and dumb photo on the Five Live website (check it if you don’t believe me) Payne has all the makings of a massive, stupid, annoying cunt.

Nominated by: Colin Murray’s Brain

Cyclists

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Cyclists are all cunts – especially the “club rider” cyclists, who think that riding 6 abreast down narrow roads, thereby holding up the traffic, or weaving in and out of stationary cars who are stuck at busy road junctions and scratching paint or banging into wing mirrors is part of the highway code.

They build cycle lanes for these cunts, and said cunts ignore them, preferring instead to piss off other road users with their antics.

I won’t even start on their ludicrous avacado shape helmets..

Nominated by: Toadspanker

Cyclists are all cunts. They arrogantly ride around on their victorian toys in the mistaken belief that they are “saving the planet”

Actually, all they’re doing is adding to the sum of human misery by not paying fucking road tax,riding on pavements, ignoring traffic lights and signs and putting everybody at risk from their stupid cavorting.

Just fuck off you healthy cunts !!

Nominated by: Anonymous