Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Jack White

Posted on by

Jack White took over the cover of the May 2012 issue of Interview magazine-815282

This talentless, screeching gimp is a right cunt.

He claims to be influenced by all these ‘obscure’ blues artists: like Blind Lemon Jefferson and Rutling Orange Peel, to appear cool and interesting, and to give himself carte blanche to make a noise like Yoko Ono on hormone pills.

This cunt also starts a ‘band’ with his missus (always a no-no!): A mute who looks like a drag act and who ‘plays’ the drums with one arm and no imagination: like a toddler with a Fisher Price hammer. Arguably the most useless band member in history. Definitely the crappest drummer!

He also nicks his wife’s name (she was the one called White) and leads the whole world into believing his wife was his sister (the weird little turd!)! This myth building and bullshit was presumably done to make him (and the mute) appear ‘Rock ‘N’ Roll’ and ‘enigmatic’, and to help hide the fact that they were utter crap! They were married, but they look related anyway: Pair of hayseed hicks…. These knobends were as manufactured and as staged as The bloody Spice Girls. It’s quite astonishing how many people fell for their Carpenters as primal blues purists bullshit, and their brother/sister bollocks.

The staggeringly pretentious embelishements this tosspot adds to his (not at all real) name are also surefire displays of cuntery… ‘Bluesman Jack White?’ ‘Jack White The Third?’ Do piss off!

Then he marries again (a rather beautiful girl this time!): But when they have a kid the cunt gives it his ex-wife/sister’s surname! Which wife/mother worth her salt is ever going to be pleased about that (no wonder she left him!)?!

He also licks every arse in the Rock ‘N’ Roll elite (from Jimmy Page to Jagger to Iggy Pop!), and the way the music press (ie: the wankers at the NME, MOJO and all that other crap!) put this squawking bullshit machine in the same category as Bowie, Dylan, Hendrix etc is like Monty Python’s deadliest joke in the world… Die laughing because it is really that laughable….

Yeah, a true cunt of the highest order.

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

According to Rolling Stone, Jack White III is “ranked 17 out of the 100 greatest guitarists of all time”. What’s that rustling I hear? Could it be Jimi Hendrix or Paul Kossoff turning in their graves? Probably. Clearly Rolling Stone is populated by tone deaf cunts these days.

Here’s a few quotes I do agree with off the cunt’s own web site :

“His songs are often little more than de-fanged blues, lacking the passion and grizzled realness that makes the genre speak to so many people.”

“Jack White’s cover of ‘Love is Blindness’ is “excruciatingly overwrought”

“In the world of guitar players, he’s not even in the top 20 from Detroit. With all due respect Jack, you have to practice a little bit more…”

Giving this arse a Fender or a Gibson is a waste of a quality instrument. It’s not the instrument you’ve got Jack, it’s what you do with it. I’ve listened to some of your stuff – it wasn’t pleasant but I felt I had to in order to be fair. If I played as well as you, I’d fucking give up. Honest!

Nominated by: Chas C

Sol Campbell

Posted on by

Sol-Campbell-006

Does this cunt ever shut up?! Built like a brick shithouse, yet he whines like an air raid siren. His latest comments about him being the England Captain for ten years, and not being given the the job because he is black, are total bollocks.

For a start Paul Ince was captain of England when Campbell was playing. So that’s Campbell’s ‘racist’.theory up the spout (Ince was a far better player anyway). Campbell’s claim about him being a dead cert for the England captaincy also show this giant wallflower’s self importance. To be a team captain you need guts, leadership qualities and an ability to inspire those around you (Bobby Moore, Bryan Robson, Franz Beckenbauer, Tony Adams, Dino Zoff etc). Campbell has none of these.

He carps on about how he could have been England skipper (if he was so fucking great, then why wasn’t he?), yet Campbell throws his toys out of the pram when Spurs supporters call him a poofter! That’s real captaincy material, isn’t it? What a big, whinging, mincing cunt.

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Paralympians

Posted on by

Sochi Paralympics

Laid up with a gammy leg so have been passing me time watching a spot of TV, namely sport of Kings. Resigned to enduring the dyke with the mike (Clare Balding cunts), so me butler turned on the only station that now shows the gee gees. What The Fuck me racings vanished to be replaced by some endless Channel 4 politically correct wankfest called the Paralympics beamed out of commie central. Caught sight of that commie cunt with a stiffy Putin – looks like a right dodgy jockey.

If it was called the Paralytics I might have a go meself. Then whoosh it was orf with some legless cripple cunts on skis. Bugger me a pack of raspberries hurtling down the piste. Have been missing me blood sports of late and looked good for a Schumacher finish. Worth a punt but fat chance. Spoilsports had safety netting at the bottom and enough cunts in high viz jackets to change a council light bulb. I say play the game what.

Noted not many cunts representing the al-qaeda countries. Problem being that when the old suicide belt blows orf then the head goes heavenwards and the bollocks go to hell. No categories for trunk only winter sports as yet.

Appreciate overcoming adversity and all that but I say! Can’t stand raspberries that take themselves too seriously. Can’t take a few laughs when your leg comes orf? Then fuck orf back to wheeling yourself around on a tray and begging on street corners.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Tony Hall

Posted on by

Tony Hall BBC director general

BBC Director General Tony Hall is a cunt for axing BBC3. Not for doing it now, but because the lazy cunt has waited ten fucking years to do the decent thing.

BBC3 aka BBC Chav – that wonderful channel packed with such deeply cuntish offerings as Little Britain, Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps Please, and any so-called comedy programmes fronted by cunts called Russell. I would rather watch wall-to-wall repeats of Last Of The Summer Wine than BBC Chav.

Good fucking riddance.

Nominated by: Fred West

Dead Pool [9]

Posted on by

image_update_img

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Dan who correctly guessed the next cunt to kick the cunting bucket … therefore becoming a dead cunt … would be Jimmy Ellis aka Z Cars’ very own Bert Lynch.

Here’s a picture of the dead cunt back in the good old days of black and white telly, when the quality of the programming actually mattered. Mind you, Z Cars was an exception…

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 9. Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of three cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. The winner gets a dedicated Dead Pool Champion guest post on the subject of his/her choice and kudos of cuntishness aplenty. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

And no – Before you ask, you can’t have Schumacher! Don’t be a cunt.