Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

The SNP [3]

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Steve Bell's If … 13.11.2014

The bastard SNP want to make the people of the other three nations believe they represent all Scots. As Fat Alex and Wee Jimmy found out, and as our new Scottish friend Mr FYSST pointed out, they don’t. In a democratic vote, the people of Scotland voted to remain part of the UK. Losing a two horse race by more than 10% is a major defeat.

The vile SNP seem to have a new strategy. Wee Jimmy has sent Fat Alex as her ambassador to London television studios to talk utter bollocks and piss everyone off so much that ordinary people in England, Wales and Northern Ireland vote to boot Scotland out of the Union. And a lot of folks are falling for it.

The racist scum of the SNP are treated with far more respect than the deluded buffoons of UKIP when, in actual fact, Fat Alex and Wee Jimmy spout far more bollocks than Farage and co. These racist twats who think Braveheart was a documentary do not represent the views of ordinary Scottish people.

Nomimated by: Cunt’s Mate Cunt

Matt Lucas

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Matt Lucas is currently cunting himself on a weekly basis.

Thinks he’s a comedy genius by unimaginatively combining elements of Ronnie Barker’s Futtocks End and Rowan Atkinson’s Mr Bean. He isn’t a comedy genius though. He wouldn’t even be the funniest performer in a sixth form revue. He’s just the fat, ugly, unfunny kid who shows off on his own in the corner. How on earth he’s been able to carve out some sort of career on the basis of the lowest common demoninator cuntery that he and Walliams produce is a complete and utter mystery. The pair of them must be sucking the cocks of some very important people because their TV shows are piles of steaming shite that have no redeeming features whatsoever.

I’d also like to cunt the BBC Commissioning Editor who thought that Lucas’s latest effort (see YouTube clip) was a good use of the licence fee.

Nominated by: Fred West

Selfies

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The “Selfie” is a narcissistic obsession with taking as many photos of yourself and posting them on social media sites is typical of a generation who is obsessed with the idea that anyone actually gives a fuck about them.

From the fuckwits of celebs whose intimate selfies manage to “accidentally” get uploaded to the web (and who subsequently bleat about their humiliation), to the increasing horses of silly little teens whose careless selfies attract the attention of paedos like wasps to a jam jar, the whole ludicrous cult is just a symptom of a generation who no longer gives a toss about anything but their own selfish needs.

In moments of cynicism, I’m convinced that the internet will one day crash under the weight of social media spawned crap like this and the last thing we will see on our dying search engines is the grinning face of some spotty teen grinning at the camera with a banana stuffed up his rectum!

Nominated by: Lez

Unite Against Fascism [3]

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UAF, an organisation populated entirely by people who have no meaning of the word “irony”. Obviously, none of them own a mirror either, because then they would see a true fascist.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

The UAF supporters cannot make up their minds as to just exactly what they are “against”. Their piddling website keeps adding “isms” on a daily basis. (apart from religious extremism of course..)

Nominated by: Lez

The 3 Witches

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3 witches

Did anyone see those three silly bitches on the debate on the telly?

Political parties should be fiercely opposed to one another… Not giving it all that touch feely ‘all girls together’ bollocks… One can imagine Sturgeon, Wood and that Aussie getting pissed on white wine, slagging men (any men) off for hours and then dancing on the tables singing ‘I Will Survive’…

Of course that spaz Ed Joined in… He’d have got more points if he’d viewed them as the silly cows that they actually are…

I’ll say one thing for Farage: he didn’t fall for that love-in crap and he told the BBC exactly what they are and always have been (leftie PC cunts)… He should have put the boot in and mentioned Savile and Auntie’s other nonce protecting…

Nominated by: Norman