Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Alexander Armstrong

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Alexander Armstrong is a smug wanker.

The cunt does a quiz called Pointless with some weird looking cunt called Richard Osman.

“Xander”,as the pretentious wanker styles himself,is another of the Oxbridge comedians and was one half of the dreadful, formulaic Armstrong and Miller, who thankfully seem to have sunk without trace.

His singing brings to mind a bullock being castrated without pain-relief, and yet the bastard is convinced that he is a cross between Pavarotti and Elvis,and never misses the chance to plug, on the BBC, his latest collection of “Songs to Cause You To Burst Your Own Eardrums With An Ice-Pick to.”

The cunt wears a very poor hairpiece which looks to have been wrenched off Bruce Forsyth’s mechanically kept alive corpse. He is also related through marriage, to Giles Coren, Victoria Coren and the appalling David Mitchell….reason enough to cunt him, for not running amok at a family get-together with a flame-thrower.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler.

Stubborn Old People

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Stubborn old people are cunts.

Many of us have a old person with health and mobility problems within our families and usually it’s not a big problem unless they are total cunts.They are the persons who need a lot a help, but being the cunts they are, refuse help and make the problems a lot worse for everyone.

They know they can’t drive a car anymore, that it would be a danger to everyone but they still do it in a pathetic attempt to prove that they are still able cunts, which usually ends with a car crash and someone badly hurt.

They know they can’t walk without a cane or a mighty fall may happen but still choose to do it, then they take a bad fall breaking something leaving everyone worried and feeling helpless.

They are cunts because they let their pride win over reality and don’t listen to anyone, making a lot a problems worse for them and their families.I know that being old must be hard, but not accepting it and being a cunt is worse.

Nominated by Elder Cunt.

Menzies (Ming) Campbell

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Pre Question Time:

By the way, can I just give a massive pre-cunting to that Goliath of a cunt, Ming, Mong, Mung or whatever the fuck his name is Campbellend. He’s on Question Time tomorrow night so brace yourselves for a flood of meaningless shite to be flooding from the daft old cunt’s pie hole with his jam jar bottoms glasses. What a cunt.

Nominated by kendo nag.

Post Question Time:

Ming Campbell is a cunt. He was on QT and had a moan about Norman Tebbitt referring to “foreigners” in the Lords debate on the Brexit bill.
The description of a foreigner is “someone who comes from a country other than ones own”. So now it’s wrong to be factually correct is it you soppy liberal cunt ?
Absolutely typical of his wishy washy type, where absolutely anything and everything, can be construed as being offensive.

Nominated by Johnson.

Spot the difference Pre- and Post-Question Time?

The voters say not, it would seem.

Barbra Streisand

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Fat people are cunts. Especially celebrity fat people.

That silly fat cunt Barbra Streisand just came out and said: “Donald Trump is making me gain weight. I start the day with liquids, but after the morning news, I eat pancakes smothered in maple syrup!”

So let me get this right. Donald Trump comes round your house and forces you to buy some pancakes and maple syrup. He then forces you to stuff them into your fat ugly fucking face. …Surely that’s illegal! ….why haven’t you called the police?
Maybe it’s because he isn’t making you do anything. More likely it’s because you are a fat greedy cunt and you should stop stuffing your face.

I can’t really say anything. I’ve been stuffing my fat face with all kinds of junk lately but at least I admit that no one is making me.
It’s not advertising, cheap pricing or Donald fucking Trump.
It’s just because I’m a greedy fat cunt.
Same as Barbra cunting Streisand.

Nominated by DeploytheSausage

David Haye

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Can I nominate David Haye the boxer for a cunting due to the fact the guy is a total fucking retard of a cunt. He should have learned the last time he wouldn’t shut his fucking mouth until it was shut for him. Just take the money for the fight you cunt and stop trying to big up the endless ball room dancing demo you turned the last few fights into, it’s embarrassing and if your going to retire stay fucking retired……..so rather than mouthing off to get public interest, just channel all that verbal energy into fighting better and putting on a good sportsman like show cuz at the moment you’re 2 steps away from the football hoolie cunts.

Nominated by fuglyucker.

Well here we are and the Haye V Bellew undercard is about as entertaining as a stubbed toe!

Christ this is drier than the Atacama Desert!

And the PC-ness of having a lady commentator alongside Johnny Nelson when she quite clearly has no fucking idea (purely because there’s a lady’s bout on) is ridiculous to the sublime.

I hope the main event is better than this shite otherwise I’ll ask Sky for a refund!

I’ve seen better fights in workingmens clubs of a Sunday afternoon in the old days of pub licencing laws where pubs weren’t allowed to open on Sunday afternoons!

Sixteen quid! Fucking joke!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt.