Guy Opperman MP

Posted on July 13, 2017 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

A Cunting for Guy Opperman MP.

I’ve followed this devious little spunk-bubble’s career since the start. He managed to get himself wormed in to a safe Tory seat,and obviously is destined for big things in the Conservative party. He has been made a minister in the DWP, where he announced that he understood about zero hours contracts because he’d once worked as a £250 per hour barrister,where work couldn’t be guaranteed every day. Oh,the hardship…don’t know how he managed to survive.

The prick’s latest announcement trumps his thoughts on zero hours contracts. He has suggested that women in their 50s and 60s who have had their pensions put back should consider taking up an apprenticeship and retrain for a new career! I wonder who he thinks is going to train a bunch of middle aged women in a new trade? Perhaps he imagines a whole new battalion of blue-rinse brickies and chippies taking on the task of building new luxury pads for the “poor refugees” that his party continues to let flood in.

Mark my words, Opperman is destined for the top. He has Cuntitude in abundance to really make a top politician. He also recently married his “girlfriend”,which stopped the totally unfounded rumours regarding his preferences. This was particularly important in this rural constituency which still complains about a previous Tory MP, Alan Amos,who had to stand down after a particularly distasteful episode at somewhere on Hampstead Heath known as “The Gobbler’s Gulch.”

I want to get the first Cunting in at Opperman but I reckon,over the years to come, it certainly won’t be the last….. Oh,and the cunt also reports every abusive e-mail to the local police…

Nominated by Dick Fiddler.

William Shakespeare (2)

Posted on July 12, 2017 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Nomination: William Shakespeare.

Turned on the news the other day to see some cocksucker with a waxed moustache wanking on about fucking Shakespeare. Number one, anyone who has a waxed moustache in 2017 is a cunt and anything they say can be safely ignored. Number two (ooer, missus), I fucking hate the way Shakespeare is routinely described as the greatest writer (in English) ever. FUCK THAT STRAIGHT UP THE ARSE.

I’m pretty sure most cunters would agree that Shakespeare ruined their English lessons at school. Fucking pages of boring, barely understandable crap, interwoven with shite jokes and bullshit history. Shakespeare doesn’t hold a candle to Orwell, Hemingway or even Isaac Asimov when it comes to writing a decent fucking story.

Nominated by Cunt’s Mate Cunt.

Dara O’Briain (3)

Posted on July 11, 2017 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

May I nominate a cunt, friends?

My sister recently emailed me to say how excited she was at having bumped into (ambushed in the street like teen-ager!) Dara O’Briain. Oh yes, I replied. He’s a cunt isn’t he?

Yes he is, and here’s why. Some time ago Rory Bremner explained why he doesn’t do Islam jokes: Afraid to, as indeed I would be. I forgave the lily livered fucker, as he was actually highlighting the situation, and making a point without putting his bottom on the line.

Dara O’Briain however is a slimy, dishonest cunt. Listen to the lying bastard:
“You do get people giving out and going ‘Well, you know, you will joke about the Christians but you won’t joke about the Muslims, huh, why is that?’ To which my slightly angry response is: my job is not to write YOU jokes about Muslims. I’ll write about stuff I know and I KNOW about growing up Catholic, but the Muslim stuff, you know…? It’s not any comedian’s job to supply angry people with anti-Muslim material, and it’s a question you hear a lot, as if somehow that balance should exist.”

So why isn’t O’Briain angry? Maybe if he had to pick bits of his daughter’s brain out of his hair he might manage a “slightly angry response” to that. It wasn’t his daughter though was it?

So, Dara isn’t angry, he can just hide behind his cowardly immoral politics, and expect us to believe he’s human. He’s a fucking worm.

Nominated by The Arsebishop of Cunterbury.

J D Wetherspoon

Posted on July 9, 2017 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Can I nominate for a royal cunting Weatherspoons?

I have been told they are the reason for a few of my favourite locals being put out of action.

I refused to be drawn to such a mighty symbol of the globalist elite, putting hard working grubby locals out of business.

Problem is I went into one of the culprits yesterday and found Doombar to be £2 a pint, a bowl chips topped with goodness at £3 a bowl, the atmosphere was terrific and the décor superb.

This throws me quite the conundrum. One of my favourite moans is that it is impossible to go out on £20 and pubs have lost their atmosphere. I am now faced with choice between getting stung at my local or capitulating to the den of commercialism. For that dilemma weatherspoons are complete and utter cunts.

Also having re-read the above and realising that I am becoming a middle class yuppy makes them even bigger cunts on a personal level than before.

Nominated by bandwagoncunter.