I cant believe I’m actually writing this, but yesterday I had the misfortune of trying to keep up with what’s going on in this cunty world in the firm knowledge that something or other would make my piss boil. Maybe Junker the Drunker waddling about like the EU’s version of Sepp Blatter taking the cut out of everyone? No! It wasn’t that. Maybe Barnier looking about Downing Street like some elitist cunt being showed where Fagan once lived? No! It wasn’t that. Soros pumping half a fucking million into reversing the most attended democratic fucking vote this country has ever seen ( sorry Fred West )? NO!!

It that the fucking libtard snowflake cunts are boycotting Peter ” trap me / choke me / skin me / roast me / enjoy me whilst camping …Peter fucking Rabbit “… because it promotes…wait for it….. ” Food intolerance bullying ”

WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!!! The wee imaginary talking rabbit whom we see most days in 2D form on our national roadways looking like some posh cunts miniature bear rug spread out before our eyes as we thump over it at 60mph…flings some blueberries at some other pixelated cunt on screen that doesn’t like blueberries……… and off goes twitter in a fucking apoplectic meltdown on food alergy oppression and bullying.

“My wee bairn has a food alergy….. we will boycott this until Disney apologises”

Fuck me! I’m a Scot and we have an intolerance to almost anything you can call food!
If some cunt threw rice at a Scottish Wedding we’d all come out in fucking hives and rashes, rolling about the floor dousing ourselves in whisky and Irn Bru! So fuck off you snowflake, neo liberal, inferiority complex suffering fucks.

Cunts pure and simple

If I get 6 months to live from a doctor then unfortunately there is also others with that diagnosis because I’m going postal.

If we tolerate this then I’m afraid its not our children next, we’re next, its accelerating at an unstoppable rate

Nominated by Squint Cuntwood

Pubic Health England are a bunch of interfering, nannying bedwetting cunts.

After a few days of snow, freezing temperatures and strong winds from our brush with the ‘Beast from the East’ advice is to keep the heating up, wrap up, have medication on hand if needed and food in stock.

Well no shit…I wonder how much some Whitehall cunt sat in their office if being paid to think the bleedin obvious up?

Other pearlers for the couple of weeks every year it gets above 25 degrees…drink water..wear sun cream when in the sun etc . The extent for the hand holding ‘mother knows best’ bollocks, the constant drip drip into what people are eating, drinking , smoking is a whole industry catering to cunts who cannot think for themselves.

By all means offer advice, I understand Government departments have a duty of care regarding the elderly and vulnerable, but the effects of wearing a t-shirt in -5 degrees or drinking a litre of vodka and smoking 20 Richmond a day are well known. How the fuck we would have established the British Empire with these cunts around , Capt Cook would still be in docks filling out his risk assessment.

Warning: Australia maybe hot!

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.

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▫ Women – were you a queen in a former life? Perhaps Cleopatra, Elizabeth I, a Russian princess or Marie Antoinette?

These shameless con artists’ tricks are obvious to most but they’re clever, devious cunts who prey on both the simple-minded and the emotionally-scarred. The job of a clairvoyant is to keep clients coming back, get them addicted to psychic readings, and keep taking their money.

Nonetheless, there are still no laws to prevent this chicanery, absolutely no legislation at all to prevent it. Clairvoyants, shamans, mediums, rune-readers, psychics, numerologists, intuitive astrologers, Spiritualists…
….Fuck Off you rapacious, barefaced lying imposter cunts.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Business Development Managers…..are cunts.

You’re not a fucking Business Development Manager, you’re a Salesman. You’ve always been a Salesman, so call yourself a Salesman. And you’re a cunt.

Take your shite of a £24k a year (plus commission bonus obviously) salary, your turbo-dog shit Ford Mondeo, your £39 Primark suit, your £1k+ a month rent on a house of which you don’t own a brick, your bullshit ‘holiday’ to CenterParcs where invariably you’ll be surrounded with other ‘Business Developing’ cunts, your bang average missus who’s no doubt getting ‘rooted’ by her fitness instructor as I type and lastly take your complete and utter nondescript existence and do the honourable thing…………cunt

Nominated by Cunting Ballbag

I’m provisionally heading this ‘Cunts and Coins’

As you may have heard, the Royal MInt has just announced that there’s to be yet another change to the coinage. A new 10p piece. Well, to be exact, 26 new 10p pieces. One design for each letter of the alphabet, – I shall return to this baffling requirement – and each expressing a ‘quintessentially British’ thing.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/03/01/queuing-cricket-tea-quintessentially-british-things-celebrated/

Apparently designed by the artist who did the South Bank Centre, for the benefit of Primary 1’s class piggybank, they are presumably some kind of vanity project, as the question ‘Why?’ remains unanswered, and the question ‘How much did they cost’ remains unasked, except by bitter cunts like me. Though, if it illustrates the insanity of the UK as currently governed, it at least asserts its individuality, until the French come up with 365 variants on the Euro cent, at least, so perhaps a nuclear cunting would be overkill.

That said, obviously the new coinage demands a themed ABC to go with it:

A is for Aliens Arriving in boats
B is for Brussels, which ignores our votes
C is for Cunt, of Course – doesn’t want borders –
D’s for the Dole, and all its Defrauders.
E’s for the EU we’re not going to leave,
or so all the Fuckwit remoaners believe,
G’s for Great Britain, whose Greatness has Gone;
H is for House prices – financial con.
I’s for Illegals, whom no-one has numbered,
J’s for our Jails, with gangstas encumbered,
K’s for the Knighthoods we give party donors
(and L’s ‘Lord’ Adonis, queen of remoaners)
M’s for the Media, evading the blame
for Numerous Nonentities’ five-minute fame.
O..MG! – acronyms, overemployed
by Pissboiling Pundits we can’t avoid.
Q is for Queerness on public display
R is for Rappers, and all that they say,
S is for Snowflake and Selfie and Snood
T is for Trackie and Twats who say ‘dude’
U is for Urine -craft beers – in the bar
V’s Virtue signalling, Vegan, VR,
W? Wankers whose Whining’s PC
X for Xpatriate, happy and free.
Y is for You, you cunt, and so, goodbye
I need some Z’s now, so fuck off and die.

Nominated by Komodo.