Wrong number callers.

I was watching the racing today when the phone rang…and rang…and rang. Eventually I decided that it must be an emergency, and I’d better answer it. Due to a very poor mobile signal, I still have a landline in the hall. Had to leave the racing and sprint (?) off to answer the fucking thing.
“Hello,is that James?”
>”No,you must have a wrong number”
“Can I speak to James?”
>”No, you fucking can’t…you’ve got the wrong number”
“But isn’t this the number for Mill House Farm?”
> “No”
“Are you sure?”
>” Fuck Off, I’ve told you, you’ve got the wrong fucking number”
“Well do you know the correct number?”
>” Do I know the correct number? I know I’ll pull yer fucking plums off if you don’t FUCK OFF YOU UTTER CUNT”

That was when I crashed the phone down. I’d missed the end of the race…still wondering if it was some Cunt who knew me, winding me up…suspicious that it came right in the middle of the big race. Luckily the Cunt forgot to block his number,so I’ve set my alarm and at 3 o’clock in the morning the Cunt’ll be receiving a phone call enquiring about his views on guinea-pigs being involved in shite-mining…that should shake the sleep out of his head…as will the half-hourly follow-up calls.

I once got a wrong number call from some either deaf or drunk imbecile wanting to book Bed and Breakfast. Couldn’t get it through to him that I was no doss-house for cheap Cunts. Took the booking. No idea yet just where the Cunt actually thought he was going, but he’ll have been in for a surprise when he got there.

Fuck Off.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

Dianne Abbott

Seriously …. what a waste of fucking space!

Abbott’s recent appearance on BBC’s Question Time has resulted in accusations of racism against Fiona Bruce and the audience. But let’s get this straight: The audience weren’t jeering the useless fucker because she is black, they were jeering her because she is as fucking thick as pig-shit!

For, thirty years the stupid cow has been demonstrating the intellectual capacity of five-year-old, but nobody has been able to say anything against her …. just in case she pulls out the fucking race card.

Fuck knows what the voting population of Hackney North and Stoke Newington must be thinking when they get her elected each time. But wise up, people …. Diane Abbott is a total fucking retard!

Nominated by Cunty McBastard

JJ Abrams
Talentless, over-rated, plagiarist ‘Director’ who doesn’t even disguise the fact that he just lifts entire segments of previous talentless ‘Directors’ work. Then blames his audience for pointing out how shite he is.
Couldn’t finish ‘Lost’, because he ran out of ideas and it was garbage anyway. Yet, studios pay the cunt shitloads of money for his ‘talents’ – stupid cunts.

Oh, and calls his office the ‘The National Typewriter Company’, just to confuse visitors and the Postman … cunt.

Nominated by doubleohoh

Bessie Turner

The fucker below is a ‘singer’ who posted a crying selfie on Instagram to ‘raise awareness’ of something or other. Her new single probably.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-46694786

For fucks sake, what is this generation of pathetic zombies going to end up as?
Me Me. Needy. Needy. Needy.

God help us. A generation of useless fuckwits.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Jamie Oliver

Cunt. Every fucking recipe I’ve followed of this jumped up little shit turns out as a disaster. Roasted a whole topside beef following this thunder cunt’s recipe. The outcome of the recipe was a topside beef that was drier than an 80 year old nun’s snatch. Waste of cunting time and money. His gravy recipe to accompany the disaster turned out like diarrhoea after drinking a dodgy pint of Guinness the night before. It had been soaked in the pool of excrement to even make it chew-able. Turns out it wasn’t chew-able enough and I almost choked to death on it, then I had to watch my elderly relative remove her denture to pick the bits of beef out.

Fuck Jamie Oliver.

Nominated by Stumpy Mc-Cunty