Emergency Services Abusers
Date: 09 Feb 2019. Time: c.20.00.
Mrs K and I have finished dinner and are enjoying coffee, when the door bell rings. ‘Who the fuck’s this?’ says I, grumpy at having my peace disturbed.
Opening the door, I’m confronted by a scruffy stranger clutching his chest, who mutters ‘could ya call an ambulance fast mate, think I’m havin’ a ‘eart ‘tack’. Now this didn’t somehow feel right, but I couldn’t just ignore things, so I dialed ‘999’ and explained the situation. ‘We’ll respond asap’ came the reply. ‘Meantime don’t let him into your house’. Glancing through the window, I saw that Sonny Jim had straightened up, and was lighting a fag……
Every year in Britain, thousands of people mis-use or abuse our wonderful emergency services. For instance, we’re all familiar with the likes of the imbecilic ‘Action Man’ cunts who go hiking in the Cairngorms in midwinter, get themselves in trouble, then expect others to come and bail them out. Then there are the low-life twats who start fires then ambush the responders.
Then at the other extreme, there are the fools who contact emergency services for the most facile, even ridiculous of reasons. Just for a bit of fun, guess which one of the examples below is true.
Calls to ‘999’: ‘my pizza delivery’s 45 mins. late’; ‘call me a taxi, I’ve no credit on my phone’; ‘what’s the temperature outside?’; ‘I can’t find my trousers’; ‘I need my Pot Noodle heated’; ‘I’m in McDonald’s and they’ve run out of chicken nuggets’; ‘the eggs in my fridge are cracked’.
Responses: woman with ‘traumatic injury’ actually wanted crew to go to pub to bring her son home for his tea; woman supposedly fallen, wanted a light bulb changed; man with ‘head injury’ had a ring stuck on his dick; police response to family ‘in distress’ found them ‘lost’ in a maze in a local park. **
…..and Sonny Jim? It turned out that he’s a Saturday regular; a door-knocking pisshead notorious for getting an ambulance out on a false pretense, because he wants a free ride home. And every time this shithouse pisses emergency responders about, some poor sod’s life could be draining away. What a cunt; he should be fucking prosecuted. In fact, what a bunch of cunts.
** They’re all true.
Nominated by Ron Knee
Cunting required for system abusing emergency services workers who use the blue lights when they want to finish their shift, in Cardiff it is 5.00- 5.15 pm and we are listening to the usual blues and twos that you can set your watch by every day.
This cannot be coincidence it is a copper/ambulance/fire engine that knocks off at 5,30….
Noisy bastards keep me awake while im in work trying to sleep…
Nominated by fuglyucker
I would like to cunt The Week magazine, for their briefing in last week’s (2nd Feb) issue about George Soros (which I only got around to reading yesterday on the 10th due to a combination of work, lack of sleep and attempting to catch up on it and horrendous indigestion). The entire gist of it is basically ‘George Soros is a hero and if you disagree then you’re a fringe alt-right nutcase’, with phrases including “there can be no doubt that many attacks on Soros are overtly anti-Semitic” and “he is a hate figure for Vladimir Putin and the autocratic nationalists inspired by his example.” Oh, so anyone who disagrees with him is an authoritarian hardline nutjob then? Is that what you’re saying you cunts? Bear in mind this isn’t just a collection of the latest current events stuff from around the world like most of the magazine – this is the opinion of the magazine itself, being expressed in what is effectively its editorial. Its good for me to read this shit in the same way RTC says its good for him to listen to James O’Shithead, and truth be told there are a few good pieces in there each week, but this kind of shit just epitomises the awful open borders view which the magazine themselves hold. Not the first time they’ve boiled my piss but this example seems especially egregious.
