Monthly Archives: November 2013

Pudsey

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There’s fuck all worth watching on tellie tonight because Pudsey is back…

Now, I know you are going to think that anyone who says that a charity appeal that raises so much for needy cheeldren should be taken off the air just because it’s a load of purile, talentless shite is a fucking miserable bastard, but frankly I don’t give a shit! Because that’s exactly what it is.

As the late Captain Haddock so succinctly put it back in 2011 : “Pudsey .. the begging, one-eyed, parasite .. can fuck off.” Nicely put Cap’n!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Sandy Toksvig

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Sandy Toksvig – saw her on QI the other night.

I watched for five minutes just to get on my own wick. Her, leaning back, eyes closed, recounting some apparently witty story to a panel and audience of equally smug cunts.

Appalling.

Nominated by: Dan

George Osborne [4]

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George Fuckwit Osborne again!!! Red mist rises. Steamed up me damn monacle. Or is it red toxic commie discharge from the nuclear power stations the chinks are going to be building with the frogs all over our fair land. The frogs and the chinks! Unfucking believable. And this is the country that pionered safe(ish) nuclear energy!

Osborne is so desparate to take frog and chink cock up his arse that he is borrowing the money to pay the chinks to build the power stations from the same chinks at extortionate rates. Has also guaranteed to pay the frogs a premium fixed price for the electricity generated irrespective of market prices falling in the medium to long term when economies of scale kick in. Bugger me butler and sod me servants. Screwed us both ways.

Only an ex-public school boy like Osbourne could accomodate so much cock up his arse simultaneously – yank cock, kraut cock, frog cock, chink cock, jap cock, indian cock, korean cock, saudi cock – the list is endless. Fucking United Nations up there.

Osbourne you tratorious tosser, you have sold out all that remains of our once great nation. Go choke on all the johnny foreigner spunk up your orifices. You shameful cunt.

Nominated by : Sir Limply Stoke

The Nouveau Riche

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Nouveau riche arrivistes are the top cunt class of the world. The jumped up posh like Cameron or any of his rat bag crew are out to shaft the working man. I reserve a special contempt for the fake posh like Lord for fucks sake Julien Fellowes (cunting on its way), yet another actor playing a part that has gone to his head. If I may raise a humble cheer for us old school aristos, of whom sadly few remain, we at least know how to comport ourselves with the lower orders. In the breeding donchaknow.

Never happier than when motoring around the grounds delivering a Christmas box to the estate workers. Too embarassed to dwell on the look of supplicant gratitude that lights up their humble faces when their grubby little bairns tear open the wrapping paper to find a pair of warm socks and a shilling for the gas meter. They shall have light on Christmas Day!

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke