Compliments of the Season fellow cunters !

A yuletide nomination for Christmas Parking – or more accurately, people who inexplicably have a driving license, yet lack the ability to park their car correctly.

They usually fall into one of 3 categories :-

A> Can’t find an empty space in the first row they drive down, so they spot someone behind the wheel, & then stop dead, waiting for said person to leave.
Common sense of a brick.

B> They find an empty space, then making a 17 point turn to enter parking space. They exit to shop leaving their car at some crazy angle, or touching the adjacent parked car.

C> Can’t be bothered to drive around looking for an empty space. They abandon their car on the end of a row (where no space exists) causing problems for people trying to find parking, or they mount the pavement, or grass verge or planted area & leave mud all over the place.

Morons .. . . . The gift that keeps on giving 🙂

Nominated by : Lord_of_the_Rings

On the subject of charities, lots of them have TV ads.

Am I the only person who has noticed that, not only do they recycle the ad from last year ( and the previous umpteen years ) , but the same faces appear in ads for other charities.

Here’s the RNIB advert RNIB.

I’m sorry, I’m not heartless (says you – NA), but the girl in the ad doesn’t tug my heartstrings at all. (There’s an obvious tug joke there, but I won’t – NA)
That’s a pass from me, RNIB, not to mention that this is the third year running you’ve screened the same old trope.

I’ll also ask you to Google the Salvation Army Christmas Ads .
Homeless this Christmas ( old trout having a Christmas dinner attended by a SA person )
Lonely this Christmas ( same old trout opening a gift-wrapped box attended by a SA person)
Also, PDSA, same old trout hobbling in with elderly dog.

Fuck sake, stop paying your CEO cunt ££££,
spend some money on new ads, and stop taking us for mugs!

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

Sort of seconded with tales of meal time deformities by Miserable Northern cunt :

Adverts for cleft palate charities.

God, these make me spew.
Im tucking into my tea and these cunts pop up on the telly.

Some fuckin umbongo kid with mangled teeth and lips.

” hes bullied by other children,
And finds it hard to eat..
”
Join the fuckin club.
Im finding it hard to eat looking at Squidwards deformed mouth.

Im glad the little cunts bullied.
Hes spoilt my tea.

Strangle the weird lookin little fucker and use his bones for witchcraft.

As for me donating?!!!

Oh, id not want to shame you by acting the white saviour.

That pound coins staying in my wallet where its been for years.

Nice try Andy Burnem

Adding fuel to the fire is from Liberal Liquidator :

YouTube.

Sickening.

Enjoy your dinner Mis.

I know it’s called the silly season. But why the hell do people buy those extortionately priced calendars at this time of year?

Whole stalls and shops appear with these damn things full of them. Long gone bands (Beatles, Queen, Wham!), current shite (K-Pop, Chappel fucking Roan, Sabrina Carpenter), sci-fi (Star Trek, Star Wars, Doctor Who), every animal under the sun (dogs, cats, horses, pigs), and every superficial celebrity twat and Hollywood cunt known to man. Plus loads of other shite like Harry Potter and gay rainbow bollocks.

And, these cunts cost 10 quid or over. What sort of knob pays that for 12 small posters that will last a year? Calendars are pointless anyway. The date can be found on the phone or computer. Calendars are obsolete, it’s a great big racket.

And, they never have what you want anyway. As I was in Bury,’s Millgate Centre last week, one stall seller asked if I’d be interested in the 2026 Taylor Swift Calendar. I replied ‘Have you got one where ‘Tay Tay’ is full monty billy bollocks in several lewd and lascivious poses?’ You should have seen their face and their ‘Errrrr…. No’.

Bah, bloody Humbug…

Calendar Club.

Nominated by : Norman

I am a huge fan of the humble Brussels sprout. It is fitting that the most well known Belgian is a vegetable.

Mrs Twenty knows how to prepare the perfect sprout to accompany Christmas dinner, still firm and very slightly crisp. Nothing finer, the absolute king of greens. However, I have been to more than a few festive repasts where the hostesses have seen fit to embellish the noble sprout with a honey glaze, mix them with chestnuts, or even individually wrap them in bacon. Who fucking does that?

I can sort of understand Americans messing up their veg, we expect nothing else. Martha Stewart probably started this shit when she had nothing better to do in clink. But now everyone is at it, even the cunt with the huge tongue.

Please, please, can we have a return to sanity and restore the simple sprout its dignity?

The Recipe Critic.com

Seasons Greetings.

Nominated by : Twenty Thousand Cunts Under the Sea

As a special bonus Christmas gift, heeeeeeere’s Greta!

UK police arrest Greta the mood hoover! (our favourite little girl)

DW.com

“British police have arrested climate activist Greta Thunberg during a pro-Palestinian protest in central London. The detention, under terrorism legislation, was linked to a placard referencing a banned group”

Darling Greta has been working with “Defend Our Juries” a group of foreign funded cunts who hope to undermine western democracy (although they don’t realise it)

https://defendourjuries.net/

So hopefully Young Greta gets to spend Christmas being raped with a shampoo bottle in Holloway by a big dyke!

Christmas has come early 😉

Nominated by : Lord benny