are a cunt.

Speaks for itself, really. I just spotted it for the 2nd time in a short while … and as per link rule am attaching the story, though NOT to belittle the dead woman… who was described as Sergeant so & so in the opening sentence in the link ; but died NOT ever having been referred to as ‘Sergeant’ while alive. So, what’s the point?

‘What a lovely gesture’, some cunts might proffer.

What a twee, easily distracted species, I’d counter.

Reading between the lines of the account of how she came to be ex-alive, I suspect there may not very much of ‘The Sarge’ in the pine box.

So this promotion, then. Just a variation of using ‘passed away’ in lieu of ‘dead’ so everyone involved feels a little better? .. Like how what used to be called ‘death notices’ in local papers are now called ‘family notices’.

Keys-jangling for the lesser-thinking?

Anyways. Surely this nommed behaviour is only an army thing. Wouldn’t it look silly if some assistant manager at a McDonalds choked to death on a Big Mac, and they posthumously promoted him or her to ‘manager’ before the funeral?

Odd.

cbsnews

Nominated by Cuntemall.

“US fast-food chain Taco Bell is removing lettuce from its menu in some states after investigations found it could be linked to an outbreak of explosive diarrhoea caused by a parasite”

I’ve never liked lettuce and can’t see the point of it,furthermore I’ve always suspected that it causes the shits and luckily the boffins at Taco Bell Laboratories have proved me right,again.

“Do not eat food items with shredded iceberg lettuce from Mexico served at Taco Bell locations in Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, Ohio, and West Virginia,” the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) said..

Which just goes to show lettuce,particularly Yank lettuce,which appears to be from Mexico thus adding to the problem,is a cunt.

Although the evils of lettuce have only recently been proven by the eminent scientists at Taco Bell,we should all be grateful for their pioneering work in this dangerous field.

I’ve also heard rumours that some kebabs have lettuce in them but Taco Bell have so far been silent on whether this can also cause explosive diarrhea.

BBC News?

Any suggestion that lettuce has caused Lord Siddique Khan to look like he has just been dug up has been refuted the Green Party.

Be On Your Guard.

Nominated by : Unkle Terry

are a cunts for cunts.

common isn’t it?
if your kids/ grandkids have a trampoline in the garden then they probably also have nits.

As well as screaming hey we’re chavvy as fuck
they’re dangerous.

100,000 accidents in A&E are tramp-o-line related.
I’m not arsed about that,
find it funny,
no, I’m concerned with how
‘council estate ‘ it is.

plant a tasteful flower bed
have a pond and water feature
show some taste.
Let little Teagan and Chardonnay burn off their ADHD in some state sponsored kids gym.

ps dont get me started on bouncy castles.
vulgar.

youtube

Nominated by Miserable Northern Cunt.

A woman who complained that her stainless steel sink was rusting after having had it for only 11 months has said she was “staggered” when she was told to keep it dry.

Alison Theaker, from Kingsbridge, Devon, bought a new kitchen from furniture retailer Ikea in February 2025.

She said the sink in her utility room had developed rust spots, so she complained and was told it “down to general wear and tear”, as well as “clearly a case of excess moisture” and she should “keep the sink dry”.

Very good.

She said: “I queried how I was expected to avoid excess moisture on a sink” and “the person got back to me and said that I needed to keep the sink dry”.

“When I queried how this was possible, she cut me off,” she said.

Peak good old fashioned British customer service..

Call me somewhat cynical but I suspect all Chinese steel is by no means stainless,and probably not steel to begin with.

Let’s all hope Alison’s replacement sink remains pristine and rust free.

Otherwise she’s fucked.

bbcnews

Nomination by Unkle Terry Link by C.A.

A more rotund lady for those who like fatties. C.A.

are cunts.

The Chairman,
Marks & Spencer plc,
London W1

Dear Sir,

It has come to my attention that your erstwhile august institution has started selling ladies’ unmentionables with a slit in the front. I am informed that this is to permit the interpolation of a gentleman’s pintle into the lady’s monosyllable without the need to remove said lady’s bloomers..

As loyal M&S customers, I wish to inform you that my good lady wife and I have never partaken of such lascivious behaviour, nor do we wish to start now. Who are these undergarments aimed at – your customer base or Mrs Price and Mrs Rayner?

In the past my good lady wife’s St Michael drawers gave her much-needed relief from a chill on her kidneys, and when the elastic finally succumbed we used them as windfall catchers underneath our apple tree. Your latest offering wouldn’t catch an acorn.

If you do not return to selling undergarments of their former quality we will be taking our business elsewhere.

Faithfully yours,

Disgusted,
Tunbridge Wells

telegraph

Nominated by Geordie Twatt.