Oprah Winfrey [5] and ‘The Rock’

Cunters may be aware that the Hawaiian island of Maui has recently been devasted by wildfires, causing loss of life and great damage to property and the livelihood of the islanders.

Still, the people of the island should be of good cheer, for help is at hand. Those two sterling humanitarians, Oprah Winfrey and Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, have set up ‘The People’s Fund of Maui’, and recorded a passionate appeal for Joe and Jane Citizen to put their hands in their pockets and send money to help the Maui residents out.

Now okay, Oompah and ‘The Block’ have pledged $10 million themselves (don’t know if they’ve actually donated it yet), so that seems pretty generous, doesn’t it?
But hold up. Estimates of the combined wealth of these two stand at an eye-watering $3.3 BILLION. That’s right; three point three thousand million dollars. On top of this, Oompah has been buying up land on the island hand over fist, and now owns c. 1,000 acres (an area larger than the size of Central Park in New York) which reputedly has its own private fire-fighting force.

Fucking hell, these two could easily fund a whole rescue package between them from down the back of their sofas. Come to that, why aren’t they hitting on their billionaire pals like Musk and Gates, and their megarich Hollywood friends, instead of trying to bilk ordinary people already grappling with the problem of making ends meet due to inflation and recession?

Nah. Better to do a spot of very public virtue-signalling instead; you know, show the world that you’re just a couple of ordinary dudes who are there and ‘doing what we can’. Go on; demonstrate to us that you’re all heart.

Well, I say that you’re just a couple of image conscious slebs pouring more lubricant onto your already well-oiled publicity machine, and I call bullshit on the pair of you.

Cynical? Moi?


Nominated by : Ron Knee

MPs Not Killing Themselves

A woe is me cunting for these burnt out politicians who are feeling the strain of fucking this country so far up it would be impossible to fix it without recourse to an armed struggle.

Lets take a look shall we at their working conditions shall we? Just under £85,000 pounds a year, risible expenses claims, hiring family members on a bloody good annual salary. Subsidised food and drink. Need II go on?

The only sad thing is not one of these cunts has thrown a double six and topped themselves. Fucking useless bastards.

Daily Fail Link.

Nominated by : CuntyMort

(From a legal note: we wouldn’t wish suicide on any of our democratically elected representatives.Day Admin)

Brighton Beach Influencers

What to do on the hottest day of the year? A good time to take an evening prowl down Brighton Beach to spot the lights. Usually a few signals to/from the illegals dinghies (Brighton is proudly Immigrant Friendly) or a drugs haul coming ashore (Brighton is proudly Drugs Friendly) or a few ID flashes from LGBT+- groups (Brighton is proudly…). Failing that the fiery glow of red hot pebbles from fading hippie fires (try not to step on the spaced out cunts or the hippy shit). Add to that the flickering firmament of mobile phones as far as the eye can see and there is no time to gaze upon natural wonders like the Super Moon (very prominent down here) reflecting in the sea let alone the stars above.

I know boring boring Sir Limply is on the piss again. Maudlin drunk. But fuck me there are bright searchlights springing up all over. A new phenomenon which on investigation turn out to be Brighton Beach trendies setting up their smartphones on tripods with ring lights and microphones (all available in the Pound Shop).

In short this weird breed of work shy cunts that call themselves “Influencers”. A non title for a non job. Fat slags with enhanced lips like chimps fannies flogging their on trend beauty tips online to other fat slags with….Not to forget their allegedly male counter parts with their skinny suits abd fluorescent white teeth.

Feast your eyes on the little tableau above I snapped at the groyne beside the pier. Pictures speak louder than words.

Nominated by : Sir Limply Stoke

Regional Commercial Radio

They all play the same fucking songs and get the local news from somewhere like the ‘Sky News Centre’.

One of my brother’s mates used to work for a local station and during the noughties there was a severe stunting of creative freedom by the executives on behalf of the corporate group (Bauer media) that had bought the station. It was deemed that a local station should no longer feature a programme showcasing local bands or singers, even on a Sunday night. The management wanted the same music and programming all of the time, because they felt a programme about local talent was no longer part of the station’s ‘identity’. Rrright.

Because of this they forced these presenters to play the same old ‘contemporary adult’ mush – Adele, Take That, Keane etc – as the primetime ‘personalities’ the rest of the week, as well as other regional stations, such as Wave 105 (where another mate of mine had worked and thought was dogshit).

This has lead to an exodus of young talent as the more discerning, ambitious and creative types move into podcasting or more genre-specific DAB stations.

I now find regional stations are all the same, and the adverts are constant and repetitive to the point of distraction. Any banter is thoroughly ‘approved’ by corporate cunts and twee as fuck. The playlists are all identical and thoroughly sterilised, with both the aforementioned mush and music by children for children (One Direction kept getting played- very strange on a building site, Katy Perry less so).

The playlists of these stations is so anodyne, that since 2000, my guess for the most played out song of various site and work radios is either Life is a Rollercoaster by Ronan Keating or Torn by Natalie Imbruglia.

If anyone has any other contenders for overplayed songs on commercial radio, well phone in or email us with your suggestions but first here’s the news with some 14 year old girl..


Nominated by Cuntamus Prime.

Cunts On Journeys

A lot of people seem to be on some type of a journey these days. Not the kind where you are sleeping on the floor of an airport terminal or finding out that the train you were hoping to catch has been cancelled because some selfish wankers are on strike. No, these are what I suppose used to be described as journeys of self-discovery but with the rise of social media can mean the most everyday and mundane of things is now ‘a journey’.

Its a narcissists wet dream and the list is literally endless. How about a fat positivity journey? Health fads, diet and bodybuilding journeys? Eating disorders, gay, trans non-binary, mental health, pregnancy or even beard journeys?

Some cunts on their respective and pointless journeys.


Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.