Instead of cunting his barren wife he cunted Scuntland instead and when the cunt didn’t get the result he wanted he fucked off and left another proper cunt in charge.
Nominated by: Lord Cuntingdong
Salmond, you fuck faced bulging eyed tosser, you have made it your living to dredge up every last racist prejudice from the sullen constituency orf resentful retards that you represent. Over the years you have pandered to their failure and like some jocko Hitler, have nurtured their festering inadequacy into a howling mob and unleashed it upon the English. You promised them a tartan paradise and like so many shite arsed jocko warlords before you have led them to ignominious defeat. Welcome to your Culloden you cunt.
On occasion you have a certain celtic fluidity with the English language and in the ears of your followers, the facility to turn shite into gold. Only problem is old sport that under the penetrating eye orf the television camera the ready smile and the generous bonhomie that you effect when it suits you is revealed to be as fake as fuck and merely the well worn artifice orf a professional politician. In faith, you come acrorss as a smug cunt. Like any true Scotsman you are the first to take English gold and all the trappings that come with your grace and favour lifestyle.
Worth noting that the cunt has been on the left wing trot and awkward squad wing orf the SNP and a long time devotee orf the socialist/republican cadre within it, hence Her Majesty’s dismay at any hint orf referendum success. Much has been made orf the cunt’s childless marriage to a woman 17 years his senior and I make no comments over claims orf impotence but I merely observe that that wobbly gut on the cunt coupled with a small cock makes for a simple natural method orf birth control.
Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke
Thought Brown stood up quite well to his onslaught while the slippery Salmond cunt oozed more oil than a deep fried Mars bar. But bugger me, this was the apogee of debate over a matter so crucial to the nation. News generally seemed to be reporting that with over 80% now registered to take part in the referendum and polls still neck and neck with both sides scrambling to capture the allegiance of those that usually cannot be arsed to vote ie dossers, crack arsed single mums and pissed old fuck pensioners in shitty underwear.
Thus the fate of this sour nation of inbred celts, norse and scumbags, that prides itself on having once been the Athens of the North, is to be decided on the basis orf which side will provide the highest level of benefits. And how are their pledges to be paid for? The No campaign have that worked out. They will keep the Barnet Formula which means that the English will continue to have the pleasure orf paying for it. Salmond’s mob have not a clue other than somehow the English will have the pleasure orf paying for it. All based on the length orf their hair or some such.
Makes one proud to be one nation.
Oh and fright orf the night was to see Nicola Sturgeon in her new makeup based on Morticia from The Addams Family.
Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke
She hates Tories so much that she’d rather fuck Scotland that David Cameron.
Nominated by: Dioclese
A guest post by Dead Pool winner, Sir Limply Stoke…
Ever since that pathetic Darling’s cunt in the headlights showing against wobbly arsed arch paedo Salmond in the last referendum debate, have been waiting for me blood pressure to come down long enough to get this out. Brown’s former bum boy let the jockey shite give him a kicking just before all the postal votes went orf. Handed the advantage to the jocko wanker gift wrapped and sealed with a nice wet kiss and a tongue up the arse. Beggers belief. Or does it?
Apart from his public school sexual inclination, why has Cameron bent over backwards to give Salmond every advantage possible – a long run up to the referendum, votes for the under 18s rabidly anti-English “Brave Heart” generation, any number orf financial guarantees, excluded the rest orf the country from such a fundamental decision making process that affects us all – the list is endless. And who has he left with the matches in a fucking gas filled room? The biggest shower orf shite on the planet, the Labour Party!
Correct. The “Better Together” campaign is being run in jockoland by labour party hacks while Cameron and his goons will not go near the place, content to let dumb cunts the likes orf Darling and Brown and Murphy fuck the campaign thus allowing Salmond and his Orcs to torch the place. There is no logic to this other than to destroy the bulwark orf Labour Party support in Westminster. In furtherance orf this blinkered political dodge the cunt Cameron and his wanking stooges are willing to destroy the Union. Buggers belief.
Once again there is no “Plan B” as the shite hits the fan other than to pour billions orf our money into rapacious jocko pockets in panic bribes as the cunts try to hold us to ransom. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Backs against the wall. Finest hour. Never surrender ect ect. Had a midnight war council with me faithful vulture Gristle, me butler and certain distinguished personages. Fortified with a few bottles orf me favourite whiskey (note spelling, as a patriot I am drinking Irish) it was agreed to issue the following communiqué:
Keep Calm and Fuck the Jockos
Sir Limply Takes Charge
As a true patriot and defender orf the democratic ideals orf our once great nation I await your comments and suggestions. To those that may disagree, allow me to quote the stirring words orf Cleisthenes, the father orf Athenian democracy “You no like, then you fuck orf innit”.