You know what I mean, cunts like Pietersen who had a English great grandparent who was born in South Africa, Mo Farrah who wasn’t even born here and whilst on the subject of runners all those Africans who end up representing Denmark, or Norway. What the fuck. Then we have the England Rugby Team with Tuilagi who is Samoan and another Samoan playing for Wales. How do you decide one day ‘Oh I’ll play for a country I wasn’t even born in. Then there are cunts like Frank Sinclair who when they realised they weren’t going to play in the World Cup for England decided they would play for Jamaica and deprive someone their place the squad.

It gets a bit difficult (due to this nations mixed past with players like Beckham being part Jewish and Ross Barkley having a Nigerian Grandfather) to say what should qualify you to play for England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland but surely you have to at least be born there, know the culture and ideally have some ancestry in the country?

Anyways I have decided to represent Pluto in the Being a Cunt Cup.

Nominated by: Black & White Cunt

Sacha Baron-Cohen (admittedly a cunt himself) said he quit the Freddie Mercury biopic because he discovered that Freddie died halfway through the film and that the remainder of the movie was to show how Queen then went from ‘strength to strength…’

Now I am no Baron-Cohen fan, but I can see his point… Queen without Mercury is like The Jam without Paul Weller or The Doors without Jim Morrison… And what’s all this strength to strength bollocks? Doing a tacky musical with that Ben Elton cunt? Doing a record with that fat poof, Robbie Williams? Working with a great singer (Paul Rodgers), but giving him crap material and old numbers to sing?

And now that Adam Lambert cunt? To do a whole second half of a Freddie Mercury biopic focusing on how great the surviving members are and how great they’ve done since Freddie’s demise (when they actually haven’t) displays delusional arrogance that crosses over into pure cuntitude…

No wonder John Deacon fucked off and left them…

Nominated by: Norman

This one is personal. Not in me own back yard but in a quiet residential area I have occasion to frequent. This cunt runs a heavy trucking business oit orf some sequestered little roads where many pensioners live and young families with small children. Does the little bald fat bastard live there himself? Not on your life. Just uses it for safe free parking then fucks orf home every night in a BMW leaving behind parkland and grass verges turned into churned up mud by his various vehicles in adjacent roads. The cunt repossesses motors for bailiffs and similar low lifes.

Caught the cunt at it and remonstrated with the fuckwit. Shite arse drove his car at me and gave me verbals me lud. Demanded to know why yours truly was taking snaps orf his truck. Told him in me own inimitable fashion and indeed where he could see them and if it was too dark and slimy up there then they would be orn this blog. Then invited the wanker to fuck orf which he did after promising to find oit where I live (I gave him your name and address Dioclese so expect a little late night company in Attic Greece).

The joys orf the rural idyll.

Noinated by: Sir Limply Stoke