Most embarrassing “You’re my best mate!” moments.

I had a conversation with an old friend of mine over Skype last night. We haven’t seen each other face2face in about 30 odd years, but we’ve been keeping in conversation via email for most of that time.

Anyway, he is due up here for a holiday break over in Seascale, and we promised to meet up at the local boozer for a few drinks and rekindle a few memories.

On the subject of which he reminded me of some of our outlandish drunken moments back in the 1990s/early 00s and in our mid 30s enjoying the laddish culture, lad-mags and the indie/techno/house sounds that made that era so utterly epic.

He reminded me of one particular drunken incident where we became rather indiscreet and entered the world of “You’re my best mate, you are!” And that’s when he said that I had always wanted to have a three-way lezzer sandwich with his mother (who was incredibly fit back then) and his 22 year old sister (ditto!)

He went onto say that I would have loved to see his sister munch on her mother while I took her from behind etc…

I stopped him midway to say that’s utter bullshit and where’s your proof?

Of course he couldn’t provide any. But he did say “Why don’t you ask them?” And looking across the table  I saw both his mother and sister looking back at us in amazement/shock as they were just as slightly pissed for wear!

Obviously I knew they were there from the moment we met up in the pub way back in the late 90s. But typically the consumption of alcohol does tend to make one forget not only one’s indiscretions but also who’s actually around to hear them!

Fortunately they all took it in good heart back then, even though he too was as equally pissed as myself. Unfortunately I can’t recall any “Best Mate” moments from him, but I’m sure he had some.

So that was my worst moment, or at least that I can recall. Unfortunately his mother passed away roughly 10 years ago, and his sister is married with a couple of kids. But it really is most embarrassing what drink can do to one’s private thoughts

Can anyone else recall their most embarrassment “Best Mate” confessions?

Nominated by: Technocunt

“MILTON” – AGAIN

Last year in these hallowed pages I told you the tale of woe of some fat-arsed lazy bleeder of a South American freeloader who came to this country “looking for work” (presumably he has never had any as he spends most of his time campaigning for two housing pressure groups – no time for “work”), got a council flat in Southwark and then got his wife and two children to join him in the studio flat, and complained he was overcrowded.

Milton – who is very quiet about his surname (presumably so we can’t check if he has a criminal record, which wouldn’t surprise me by the look of him) – took his case to court, and – surprise, surprise – won:

Mirror News Link

I don’t normally support Labour run councils, but in this case they were absolutely right – when he first turned up, posing as a single man, he gave no indication of a family back home – still less that he was planning to import them. He was the engineer of his own misfortune, but nevertheless the courts have decided he should go to the top of the housing list. It pays to be foreign in England. I wonder how long it will be before dunning the council because something in his new abode displeases him?

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

Boris Johnson, the Civil Service and the fucking London elite in general.

I think we all knew when video emerged of that silly cow giggling about parties that these cunts look down on us little people who follow the rules. Rules they have just imposed an hour or so prior to their piss ups.

We all know that Johnson is a lying fucking hypocrite. It is also plain that senior civil servants get fucking knighthoods regardless of competence.
We also know that the Met, who were complicit in these piss ups, being on duty 24/7 on the fucking premises, covered up the scope of transgression..

It is time that these cunts are:

Moved out of London

Subjected to performance indicators so that fuck ups like the Home Office, Foreign Office and all the rest of the useless ponces are held to held to account.

Buggins turn knighthoods for snobby cunts are abolished, in fact all fucking ‘honours’ that prop up the parasitic establishment and royalty are done away with.

Fuck the lot of them.

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

News just in from the BBC.

BBC Three has announced I Kissed a Boy (working title), a brand new dating show produced by Twofour and hosted by singer, TV star and LGBTQ+ ally Dannii Minogue.

This eight-part reality event follows ten single men as they head to Europe to find their Mr Right, and it all starts with a kiss. Before they arrive, the guys will be paired up with their strongest match and as soon as they meet, they kiss. No small-talk, no ‘flanter’, just one rom-com worthy moment that might just take their breath away.

Not my words, but those of our deviant national broadcaster wetting their knickers over a revolting new way of indoctrinating young people via teen channel BBC 3. And these cunts whinge about needing more of our money to produce quality programming. I advise not viewing the link if you’ve just eaten.

BBC News Link

Nominated by: Field Marshal Cuntgomery

Another late entry this time from Sidthesexistsforeskin and his cunting on another BBC programme called “Dodger”

I want to cunt a program on the BBC.

Yes I know you can’t cunt the BBC enough but this show on the BBC called Dodger is about the artful Dodger from Oliver twist,

I don’t watch the BBC but I was visiting my nephew but he had his telly on and I had a quick enough glimpse of this shit show. I know it’s a made up drama but it has gone full on ethnic!

It has black Victorian policemen, a chink female thief, a p@ki thief and various other ethnic other races , I didn’t see any trannies or poofery but hey, it is the BBC and I am sure Victorian London didn’t have this much ethnic types so it makes this programme a cunt and the BBC heading to the ubercunt league of megacuntishness

You Tube Link

Let’s hear it, for another self-appointed barack-room lawyer, who wants to give us her little opinions to make this country part of the “1984” prescriptive world.

Four eyed toothy mixture of dark key and mud slime (judging by the two names) – she of the “this is our music” sort of radicalism (close personals of Boris and Carrie – the latter more, I should think), wants wolf-whistles, “telling people to smile” and laughing in the street (at wimminz naturally, then men can go and fuck themselves), to become crimes, subject to an on the spot fine.

I guess this hoity-toity little tart is a lesbian lady. A pity she doesn’t go and fuck off to a country that accords more with her joyless views.

Here she is in all her decaying splendour:

BBC News Link

I confess if I saw Lady Nugee, Jess Phillips or Yvette Mini-Cooper in the street I WOULD laugh at them – and they should regard that as a compliment – they have a very funny act – a latter day Wilson, Keppel and Betty (ask your dads).

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs