Dead Pool [326]

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Congratulations to Shaun who has won Dead Pool 325 by picking Simon Cowell MBE ( Not that one!). Cowell was a conservationist and TV Presenter who set up Wildlife Aid and starred in the Documentary Wildlife SOS. He founded Wildlife Aid in the early 1980`s and devoted himself full time to the organisation in 1994 after suffering a nervous breakdown whilst working as a commodities trader.Cowell was 72 and had been suffering from lung cancer for the last 2 years until his death yesterday.He is survived by his 2 daughters and his partner.

On to Dead Pool 326

The rules.

1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will conk out next.It is first come first serve and no duplicates are allowed. You can always be a cunt and nominate someone elses nominations from a previous pool.

2)Anyone who nominates the worlds oldest man or woman is a cunt who we will ignore.

3)It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.

4)No swapping picks mid-pool unless they have already been taken.

5)Wins are awarded based on chronology of death reports not necessarily chronology of death.

Rishi Sunak (19)

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‘Suntan kid’ (Also now known as the drip. C.A.) is a clutching at straws , hypocritical double dealing u turning clueless, cant even think of an umbrella in a deluge let alone run a country cunt of the highest order.

A few weeks back and , if I remember correctly, a high ranking army geezer suggested it would be a good idea for the said army geezers army to conscript new soldiers, cue the Suntan kid , I’m definitely sure. I read his response to the conscription remarks as no way Jose, not on my shift , no conscription happening here. A few weeks later and big nose has called a general election, all of a sudden national service is on the cards. I fucking hate politics and politicians, they always rely on Joe Publics incredibly fuckin short memories to get away with half the stunts they pull. Don’t forget Covid lockdowns for the masses (and not the chosen few) amongst other things like completely shattered promises on immigration and ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION. Fuck you Sunak , fuck you too Starmer, where is an Enoch Powell when you need one

Guardian

Nominated by Paul.

MR. SAFI’S COMPLAINT

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This stale shitheal lives with his wife and 11 children in a flat in East London. Mr Safi’s wife is about to drop baby No 12. He complains Newham council can’t help him with a “better” home, as he only has one shithouse and one shower (which I doubt is overused).

May I suggest the little asshole undergoes a vasectomy – we could start a Go Fund Me page for him?

express

Nominated by W. C. Boggs.

Dead Pool [325]

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Congratulations to Captain Quimson who has scored a slam dunk and won Dead Pool 324 by picking the TV Doctor , Presenter and broadcaster Dr Michael Mosely who has been found dead after going missing in Greece.Mosely was 67 and best known for oproomoting the ketogenic diet.His body was found earlier today.He is survived by his wife and children.

On to Dead Pool 325

The rules.

1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will conk out next.It is first come first serve and no duplicates are allowed. You can always be a cunt and nominate someone elses nominations from a previous pool.

2)Anyone who nominates the worlds oldest man or woman is a cunt who we will ignore.

3)It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.

4)No swapping picks mid-pool unless they have already been taken.

5)Wins are awarded based on chronology of death reports not necessarily chronology of death.

EDDIE IZZARD (10)

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Yes – it’s HIM again. Fancy nancy would-be “Labour” politician, comedian and now “serious actor Laddie”, Eddie “Whoops-duckie” Izzard. Obviously realising that even Dame Kweer wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole (the only time the old fool has shown a bit of savvy), the old pantomime dame has taken to the theatre again, in an effort to be legitimate. Sadly for him, even the critics have not been taken in:

This MAN, who likes to don plastic breasts, bright lippy and Tena-Ladies and frequent women’s public lavatories, is really a raddled washed up old has-been, who just enjoys making a cunt of himself. There must be a nice padded cell waiting for him, after daring to make a circus out of William Shakespeare. No doubt Channel 4 or the BBC will bust a gut to get HIS performance on videotape to reserve for posterity. As the Bard so truly pointed out “The evil that men do live after them” (as Blair proved). He also said (in Othello) “put out the light, then – put out the light”. Time the spotlight was taken off this narcissistic old poofter.

standard

Nominated by W. C. Boggs.