The Nouveau Riche

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Nouveau riche arrivistes are the top cunt class of the world. The jumped up posh like Cameron or any of his rat bag crew are out to shaft the working man. I reserve a special contempt for the fake posh like Lord for fucks sake Julien Fellowes (cunting on its way), yet another actor playing a part that has gone to his head. If I may raise a humble cheer for us old school aristos, of whom sadly few remain, we at least know how to comport ourselves with the lower orders. In the breeding donchaknow.

Never happier than when motoring around the grounds delivering a Christmas box to the estate workers. Too embarassed to dwell on the look of supplicant gratitude that lights up their humble faces when their grubby little bairns tear open the wrapping paper to find a pair of warm socks and a shilling for the gas meter. They shall have light on Christmas Day!

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

David Attenborough [2]

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Attenborough

David Atten-bore is a cunt. Agreed some of his programmes are class but this old git is obsessed with the depopulation of the human race. Ok then Dave if you feel that strongly why don’t you kick the process off yourself?

I suggest the best way for a nature dwelling cunt such as your self is suicide by mushroom. Eat the trippy ones first so you sit quivering in the park, thinking your a fake Chinese Elvis being shot at by Orang-utans on roller skates, then death will seem a welcome release….. The death cap follows shutting down your vital organs til you drop and then hey fucking presto you’ve depopulated the planet by one at least.

Well done Dave, 1 Atten-Bore down,1 to go…. Where’s Dicky?

Nominated by: London Cunt

Jay Z

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Jay Z is a talentless cunt if ever there was one.

His music is unlistenable shite that my dogs arsehole could put together.

It sounds like a combination of Dubstepmoobathontraphousegrungeindieguitarsoulskankingwankfuckbuggerbollockstriphopcuntin
gunfreshshitstainedhandshandysecondhandtrampywank see.

Nominated by: Hurling Dervish

John McCririck

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Absurdist ginger dyed gee-gees cunt commentator stands front of camera wearing crap pound shop bling doing the bookies Tic-Tac hand jive and tossing himself orf while he speaks. Dunno what the cunt is Prick-Wanking but the reply he gets back from the racing fraternity is always two fingers.

Bald cunt hence never seen without embarrassing titfer. Only possible advantage was he at least reduced screen time of fuck frightener Clare Balding. Now lost that battle so suggest he follows the old dyke mantra and go FUCK ORF AND DIE.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke