Fat bastards


Professor Dickhead, Head of the School of Health and Human Performance at some Canadian University says: “Obesity is an insidious disease, you become desensitised to it and that’s exactly what’s happening in Canada – people are becoming desensitised to seeing obese children.”

And that’s why there’s so many fat cunts. Wankers like that saying obesity is a disease. What a load of fucking horse shite.

Cancer is a disease.
Malaria is a disease.
The bubonic plague is a disease.

Obesity is NOT a disease!

Lazy cunts sitting around eating more food every day than your average African child eats in a lifetime is not a disease. It’s greed. It’s gluttony.

* * * * IT . IS . NOT . A . DISEASE * * * *

“Oh, I can’t help the fact I just ate a family-sized bucket of KFC. I have a disease.”

No you don’t. You’re just a cunt who likes eating too much.

And the children? Insatiable little piggies who will develop heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes before they reach puberty and will take up hospital beds because they couldn’t fucking eat properly. Think how much money these feckers are costing the health care system.

I dated a chubby once, had to douse the cunt in talcum and look for the wet spot to have sex with her. I heard she carked it munching on a haunch of beef a few years back. Pity, she sure could cook.

Nominated by: Sterculian Rhetoric

19 thoughts on “Fat bastards

      • “……..serendipitous academic convergence……”

        That’s not a fucking proper noun, moron. You’ll need the “-ist” suffix:

        To wit:
        “-ist” A suffix( forming nouns and adjectives from “-ism” verbs) a person who advocates a particular doctrine, system, et cetera, or relating to such a person or the doctrine advocated:

        “serendipitous academic convergentist”

      • Jaysus Flaxen, have you not been paying attention?
        It’s, “Fortuitous Amicable Accommadationist
        Or just the initialism,”FAA”, like the folks who control the air-space over the Us of A and between your ears.

    • Pedantic cunts?
      To you I reply with the pedant’s stock retort, “He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much” (Luke 16:10).

      James Garfield, the 20th President of the United States of America, devised his own novel proof of the Pythagorean Theorem – something not often done since, well, Pythagoras. He was also fully ambidextrous. It was said that if you asked him a question he could write the answer in Latin with one hand and in Greek with the other – simultaneously!
      And they shot him for this!
      America’s, and now it would seem also, Dioclese’s, hatred for learning goes way back.

      • I certainly don’t hate learning. Indeed, I have many academic and professional qualifications including two at post graduate level – so there!

        It’s just that these days I’m a sad, senile old bastard as many of my acquaintances will confirm.

      • At least when you go out you don’t have to plan your schedule around ‘nearest toilets/bushes’. There are certain advantages to catheters.

  1. An obese cunt by any other name is still an obese cunt. I blame lazy parents, inexpensive fast food and the Americans for introducing it all in the first place. A dripping and bread sandwich in my younger days never made me fat

  2. Mean bastard – I have water retention. Vodka, beef burgers, chips and crisps are mostly water. Get some medical knowledge before attacking the disabled. My welfare disability payments barely pay for my snacks (mostly health food – deep-fried toblerones and such).

    • Happy to cunt the BB house ex Blue singing cunt, but perhaps you could put in a little more effort with an expansion of your invective?

  3. I would like to nominate that well known politicain
    David cameron, as the most cuntbolloxing little shitleged arsole bandit bastard cocksucker since Tony “toerag”Blair

  4. God, what is wrong with you people?! no wonder this world is so fucked up with you angry and sadistic people.

    • i see you lost your way on the highway of false paths that the internet is. Might I suggest you renew your search using the term “is-a saint”?

  5. How is it that fat, fuckin’ pig ugly women get pregnant so regularly? My drive to work takes me past two schools. Both of which are besieged by buggy trundling, porcine, tattoo covered tubs of lard with a herd of tubby kids in tow. Whoever it is that’s insemenating these bulbous wobble-bots needs a damn good cunting. And another thing. How is it when you’ve packed a bird in she fuckin’ slims down to become a bed snake and looks so gorgeous you take her back…Then she gets bloated again…Cunts

  6. Recently returning from my holidays, the wife and I noticed at the passport control what can only be described as the fattest cunt we had ever seen (and I have lived in America).

    The fat cunt must have weighed in at 70 stone minumum and it had one of those electronic passports where you walk into the booth, it takes a face scan and the gates open to let you through the other side.
    Or in the case of the fat cunt it couldn’t fit into the booth on it’s reinforced fut cunt crutches and started to have a go at anyone who would listen about how they should ‘makes these things bigger’. We were waiting for it to call for some butter or KY to grease it up enough for it to pop out the other side.

    We got our passports checked and went through to the departure lounge, as normal sized people do. Along with all of the other normal sized people looking to board the plane

    As we arrived at the gate the fat cunt was sat on the bench awaiting the loading of the plane with it’s three bags of carry on luggage (probably full of cakes and snacks) and was again having a moan at anyone who would listen about how badly treated it was because it also had to haul it’s own suicases into the terminal without assistance.

    Some stupid libtard Doris was actually dumb enough to take the bait and we got to hear a full 15 minutes about it’s ‘disability’ and how disgusted it was that this airport didn’t have some sort of cart to haul it’s fat arse around the terminal and how difficult it is to have to make the 100m walk from the check in desk, through passport control and onto the gate, it was sweating like a fucking rapist by this point and it smelled like cow shit. Like anyone gives a shit about your self inficted misery. You stupid fat cunt!

    As we are waiting for the plane to start loading I stopped in absolute amazement at the way they had to get the mound of blubber onto the plane. It had already had a moan up to the stupid libtard Doris about how there was no way it could negotiate the two dozen steps up to the plane so the airline had better do something about it.

    After a bit of confusion at the desk the poor tarts at the counter managed to make some arrangements that seemed to suit the fat cunt.

    At the side of an A319 there is a loading hatch on the oposite side of the usual door, probably designed to get stretchers in to the main body of the plane.

    The fat cunt had to waddle (not the correct term as it was more like watching a bull walrus try to navigate an escalator) to a set of double doors that lead out onto the apron where a hydraulic lift was waiting of the type they use to get the baggage into the hold.

    The fat cunt was loaded onto the lift and driven the 20m to the side of the plane and the waiting cargo door where a pretty pissed off looking pilot was waiting with an expression of absolute horror on his face.

    They loaded it in it sat at the front of the plane behind business class, taking up not one, not two, but three fucking seats. Basically an entire row.

    If anyone else has ever flown out of Funchal airport you will know how terrifyingly short the runway is. The pilot’s obvious concern was that the plane wouldn’t make the take off point with the fat cunt sat up front.

    It did. Just, with about 50m to spare.

    The fat cunt even ate the three meals provided for the three seats that it took up.

    When we got off at Gatwick, we noticed that they were keeping the blubber mound sat down until everyone else had got off the plane (and yes, it was taking up all three seats with fuck all space to spare). Outside the window we could see an ambulance of the type they now have to cart fat cunts around in and another hydraulic lift to get the human whale to ground level.

    The pilot was going apeshit (the wife translates for me) because it was going to take at least an hour to jemmy the lard arse out of it’s seats, get it to waddle the 3 or 4 meters to the cargo hatch and then hoist it out of the plane.

    This was eating into the turnaroud time and the pilot was going to be late out on the return trip.

    What galled me more than enything was the sense of fucking entitlement that the smelly vomit inducing excuse for a human being was displaying. Like it was the only person on the plane and everyone else had to wait for it.

    It’s not water retention you fat cunts it’s cream cake and lard retention.

    You’re fooling no one.

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