Bearded halfwits

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FUCKING HALFWITS WITH BEARDS WHO CLAIM THEY WERE IN AFGANISTAN
and when you call them out they fucking shit themselves

SQUADDIES ARE SQUADDIES AND CIVVIS ARE CIVVIS
He was told have you played call of duty on eggs box

I am bricklayer and not a bullshitter and never been in the armed forces but when a cunt in a hamburg bar starts piping up and not in squaddie talk deserves a fucking slap SAD FUCK!

Nominated by: Brickbat

Jeremy Corbyn [3]

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Abbott-Corbyn-653x467

This cunt Corbyn is the Jeremy Beadle of politics.

You know what I mean: just one 5 second glimpse of the cunt and you want to whip him to death with an electric cable. Same applies to that scouse cunt who hasn’t worked for years, claiming that he’s got a phobia about leaving his home. Death by artillery fire would soon sort the lazy cunt out.

Nominated by: CuntFuckScousers

Dead Pool [27]

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helmut_schmidt

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Sir Limply Stoke for winning the 26th dead pool by predicting that 96 year old Helmut Schmidt, former Fuhrer Chancellor of the Fourth Reich Germany would be the next cunt to pop his clogs.

This makes Sir Limply a 4 time winner – a rare achievement indeed! So well done Dear Boy…

So come on all you cunters! The slate is been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 27. They’re still dropping like flies this time of year so there’s never been a better time to get your name on the slate!

Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices.
List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored. Please wait for the reset when a pool is won and we move on. That way, we all know where we are!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

3. It helps admin if you nominate one name per line, no numbers in front or comments afterwards. Comment what you like after your five names! A request – not a hard and fast rule – but it speeds up the list making if we can do a straight cut and paste to a spreadsheet.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Sebastian Coe [4]

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Sebastian Coe exchanging fluids and bribes up the arse with Lamine Diack

Sebastian Coe exchanging fluids and bribes up the arse with Lamine Diack

The cunt Coe reminds me orf a dodgy little batman we had in camp in Germany just after the war. Could get antibiotics, cigars, whiskey, nylons or an arse for hire within the day. Same cropped hair and mouth like a piranha fish.Useful but ruthless little cunt. Also takes me back to me time in East Germany. Many a hairy chested fraulein mixing testosterone and alcohol. Hazardous times.

The story so far. A kraut journalist name orf Hajo Seppelt first broke the story orf Olympian corruption a few years back but it did not get much traction with the FIFA shenanigans going on. See [here]. Now following a report from WADA (World Anti Doping Agency) we hear allegations against the Ruskies viz state sponsored doping programmes and wholesale corruption and Ruskie goons intimidating left right and centre. All this was known, it is alleged, to Coe while he was vice president of IAAF (International Association of Athletics Federations) and hands on involved in getting the Olympics to London. Have always wondered how London landed the Olympics when usually these fair lands get sweet FA. Snouts in troughs? London officialdom looking the other way while Ivan and Ludmilla inject in the khazi?

Other items of interest. Coe was promoted as first chairman orf the FIFA Ethics Committee by our old friend and paragon orf probity, Sepp Blatter. Left that fat little job to become Vice President orf IAFF, later to take over the top job from the white as snow president orf sixteen years, Lamine Diack. Mr Diack is now apparantly in a spot orf bother regarding allegations of corruption, bribery and running a personal slush fund orf a million+ euros obtained from payments to cover up chemically enhanced athletes results. Churlish to add perhaps that Mr Coe has been in a spot orf the old soup himself regarding his six figure salary from the American sportswear company Nike which is itself linked to Mr Blatter and our friends at FIFA by allegations orf dodgy “sponsorship” deals orf various national teams and individuals in order to obtain certain lucrative World Cup rights.

Difficult to choose a cunt in such a rich field but on balance I will stick with Mr Coe if only because anyone named Sebastian sounds like he should be playing a rather sordid little pooftah in a black and white early 60s British film.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Classic film remakes

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klaatu-and-gort-the-day-the-earth-stood-still-1951

How dare they. They are classics, they’ll always be classics; they may be classically good, they may be classically cheesy or they might even be so classically bad they come out the other side as classically brilliant. Here’s my selection of originals that have been duplicating mincer:

The Day the Earth Stood Still
12 Angry Men
The Flight of the Phoenix
High Noon
The Italian Job
The Day of the Jackal
The Ladykillers

And The Railway Children. How could they take the daughter from the original and have her as the mother in the remake? Does that count as incest? “Daddy. My daddy.” One of the best cinematographic moments ever. Add Brief Encounter to the list. kinell! A very sad old Cunt am I.

I’ll tell you what it is. Some brainless degree in media studies halfwit with access to more dollars than taste decides the original made money, so, with his genius input the remake must make more money. No you funking brain dead cunt the original made money because people liked it. I’m sure you erstwhile Cunters will have exceptions, but this is a Cunting in defence of those that are not here to defend themselves. Fuck me! I’m so sad I can pick up the dialogue no matter where you drop me into the Ladykillers, I love: the characters, post war London scenes, steam engines, the rollicking good script, actors with training and presence, the wacky -could only be British- premise and most of all the gentle violence. One little old lady and five hardened criminals, what could possibly go wrong. The others have had similar sad butchering and it’s just not good enough. Cue Bouncing ball and:

♫ We are the boys and girls all known as,
Minors of the ABC……………..♫

Just wait for The Madness of George Washington . The Cunts are fucking stupid enough.

A grumpy old dinosaur of a Cunt I might be, but at least I’m not a:

Classic film butchering Cunt.

Nominated by: King Cnut