Dead Pool [75]

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* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *

Well done to Mr Bastard who correctly predicted The Likely Lads actor and much loved British star Rodney Bewes would be the next dead dude.Bewes was 79 and missed his 80th Birthday by just 6 days.

So the slate is wiped clean and we move on to Dead Pool 75.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open on this post only. AND BEFORE YOU NOMINATE, FUCKING READ THE EXISTING NOMS TO CHECK THAT NONE OF YOUR PICKS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY! Good luck.

Shaun`s nominations:

David Cassidy
King Michael of Romania
Kamala (Wrestler)
Liam Miller
Johnny Hallyday

Convenience shops

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Convenience shops need a good cunting.

The perma whiff of balti guff which intensifies as one nears point of sale, the beady looks from the suspicious staff, the overpriced goods which are a little too near the best before… most of which are covered in Arabic because they were vanned in by a cousin from Lahore.

Impossible to find a tin of beans or a fairy liquid amongst all the tins of Pataks, Turkish delight, Bombay mix and Backlava

Nominated by Junior Emergency Cunting Operative

Rylan Clark-Neal

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Rylan Clark (not forgetting the Neal) is described in Wiki as an English presenter, television personality, singer and model.

Rylan’s “talents” seemingly have no limits, he has been a part time model (not sure for what exactly), and has been in several Take That and Westlife tribute bands in Spain, and in a Spanish boy band called 4bidden.

Best known for finishing FIFTH on The X Factor. Has presented or been in such scintillating TV delights as Celebrity Big Brother, Big Brothers Bit on the Side, This Morning, The Xtra Factor, Up Late with Rylan and Babushka. He played the part of an air steward in Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie and has also been on BBC Celebrity Masterchef.

He met his spouse (Dan-Neal) on Big Brother in 2015, Rylan being the Alpha male in the relationship. A real man’s man.

He has appeared with such talented individuals such as Lorraine Kelly, Katie Price, John Bishop (perhaps a bit unfair to John), and a truly unforgettable and magical moment with Nicole Scherzinger (Lewis “no VAT” Hamilton’s former leg over).

Link (courtesy of Basement Bob) of said moment provided here, in order for you to judge Rylan in his magnificent splendour for yourself (Ryan being the more nauseating one of the two): https://youtu.be/WGGTX5JQufU

Whilst I can say hand on heart that I have NEVER EVER watched any of the programmes that he has been on (and I do consider myself to be quick off the mark with the TV remote) it has been impossible to avoid the effeminate gormless pathetic looking toothy cunt totally.

It depresses me deeply that despite appearing devoid of any obvious talent this “Wannabe” has actually made it onto our screens, and is now considered a celebrity on the type of programme that is now passes for “entertainment”.

Every time I look at his face I just want to slap it as hard as I can, so I can do as much damage as I can to his teeth, on which he spent £25,000. This is even before he says anything, which is ALWAYS pointless, banal, crude, unintelligent and truly insufferable.

On a rival website (not nearly as classy as this one), someone described Rylan as “An annoying camp gay idiot with Hollywood horse teeth”, or even with “teeth that could chew a tomato through a letter box”.

On the evidence presented I would very much like to nominate Rylan Clark for a severe Cunting as I feel he is most deserving and worthy recipient.

Nominated by Willie Stroker

Stanley Johnson

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I’m amazed Stanley Johnston hasn’t made the cut yet.

He is a blithering blimpish Remoaner who trades off his even more useless son, and now we are going to see even more of him as he has been signed up to `I’m a Nonentity, Get Me Out Of Here’.

Nominated by Caro.

Dead Pool [74]

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* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *

Congratulations to Gutstick Japseye for correctly predicting that evil mass murdering neo-Nazi cult (cunt) leader Charles Manson would be the next dead cunt

So the slate is wiped clean and we move on to Dead Pool 74.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open on this post only. AND BEFORE YOU NOMINATE, FUCKING READ THE EXISTING NOMS TO CHECK THAT NONE OF YOUR PICKS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY! Good luck.

Shaun`s nominations:

David Cassidy
King Michael of Romania
Stirling Moss
Morgan Tsvangirai
Robert Mugabe