Hecklers

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I’d like to nominate the cunts who decided to jeer and whistle at key moments during last night’s PDC World Darts Championship semi-final between Michael Van Gerwin and Rob Cross.

Whether you enjoy darts or not, last week’s match was probably one of the best and closest ever, culminating in a 6 Sets all, 5 Legs all final leg decider.

It was nip and tuck all the way and could have gone either way and then you get the cunt loud shepherd whistlers spouting out just as the player was about to throw.

The players are used to the general hubbub and noise but loud shrieks are definitely off-putting and it was obvious what the cunts were trying to do.

I hope the pissed up cunts were identified, thrown out and then forced to eat their own vomit off the floor!

Both players deserved the very best of order and neither received it. I know most cunters couldn’t give a shit but it really boiled my piss!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

David Attenborough [4]

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I tried to watch Blue Planet but I just cannot any longer bear listening and watching that feebleminded old droning cunt Attenborough dribbling on about how I and all of you have fucked up the planet and we’re all going to die and so are the fucking birds etc.

The wheezing old cuntbox then told us how there were a billion herring in one shoal in the north sea, a fucking billion , that’s a lot of paste.

He wheedles on about sharks and sea birds suffering and I say ‘fucking good job’ because I like fish and those nasty cunts are eating my dinner so cull the cunts sharpish and get the prices down again ,not look after them, that’s like us feeding U boat crews in 1941.!!!

He looks like he got smeared in glue and fell into the War on Want clothes bin and he talks total bollocks. I keep hoping a great white will leap up and have the cunt for tea!

Nominated by Trouserbulge

Lewis Hamilton [3]

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Lewis Hamilton is a cunt. But, he had the chance this week to reduce the burden of cuntitude that he bears.

He seems to have had a go at his nephew for dressing as a girl. Cue howls of protest from various shrill minorities and probably the professor of gender identity at Brighton Uni.
His bookings are not going to dry up because of this. Neither is ‘no platforming’ likely to be an issue. He could have let it lie or told them to fuck off. It is a mainstream opinion. It wouldn’t affect his dubious tax status.

But no. The cunt issued a grovelling apology. For fuck sake when is someone going to stand against minority right-on lunacy?

Hamilton, you had your chance. Cunt.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Steve Coogan

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With yet another upcoming regurgitation of Alan Partridge due on the Al-BBC early next year, Coogan is in the papers at the moment, bemoaning the fact that so many of the British public with his not-so-alter ego in voting for Brexit. Coogan makes the hurried point that he is really ‘conflicted’ as a remainer, and finds the Brexit vote ‘depressing’.

Bravely though, Coogan is able to forego his principles and carry on playing Brexit-supporting Partridge. What a fucking trooper. I’m guessing the moolah on offer for reprising your well worn and now unfunny caricature of yourself helps ease the pain of such a ‘depressing’ dichotomy.

Fuck off Coogan, you cunt. Your patronising arrogance on what British people voted for is about as welcome as a turd in a fruit bowl. A bit of cash will soon see those hard-earned principles put on the back-burner, eh? What’s ‘depressing’ is seeing you ruin and milk to death a comedy creation that was last genuinely funny more than 20 years ago. I also find it ‘depressing’ to endure more than 10 seconds of you and that crater-faced leek-munching sheepsbumfucker Rob Brydon, trying to out-cunt each other in that cringeworthy shitshow known as ‘The Trip’.

A major cunt from womb to tomb, Coogan is, and always will be a vintage cunt, whose cuntitude will only get stronger with age.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Sir Robert Devereux

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Sir robert Devereaux, Head of works and pensions minister, largely responsible for raising retirement age to 67, has retired aged 61.

What a cunt, usual government ‘do as I say and not as I do’ bollocks.

Another clear indication of the contempt these people have for the people they purport to represent.

Enjoy your £1.8 million pension pot, £1/4m lump sum and £85,000 p.a. you ( IMHO ) hypocritical cunt!

Nominated by Fillipo