David Attenborough [4]

I tried to watch Blue Planet but I just cannot any longer bear listening and watching that feebleminded old droning cunt Attenborough dribbling on about how I and all of you have fucked up the planet and we’re all going to die and so are the fucking birds etc.

The wheezing old cuntbox then told us how there were a billion herring in one shoal in the north sea, a fucking billion , that’s a lot of paste.

He wheedles on about sharks and sea birds suffering and I say ‘fucking good job’ because I like fish and those nasty cunts are eating my dinner so cull the cunts sharpish and get the prices down again ,not look after them, that’s like us feeding U boat crews in 1941.!!!

He looks like he got smeared in glue and fell into the War on Want clothes bin and he talks total bollocks. I keep hoping a great white will leap up and have the cunt for tea!

Nominated by Trouserbulge

Sir David Attenborough [3]


Sir David Attenborough is an old cunt…

Once one the world’s great broadcasters and presenters, the stupid old get is now narrating Adele’s ‘Hello’ video… Why one of Britain’s broadcasting greats would want to suck up to a fat chav trollop is anyone’s guess… Celebrity (and the arselicking of) is a blight that now infests almost all popular culture…

Nothing is safe or sacred…

Nominated by: Norman

David Attenborough [2]


David Atten-bore is a cunt. Agreed some of his programmes are class but this old git is obsessed with the depopulation of the human race. Ok then Dave if you feel that strongly why don’t you kick the process off yourself?

I suggest the best way for a nature dwelling cunt such as your self is suicide by mushroom. Eat the trippy ones first so you sit quivering in the park, thinking your a fake Chinese Elvis being shot at by Orang-utans on roller skates, then death will seem a welcome release….. The death cap follows shutting down your vital organs til you drop and then hey fucking presto you’ve depopulated the planet by one at least.

Well done Dave, 1 Atten-Bore down,1 to go…. Where’s Dicky?

Nominated by: London Cunt

David Attenborough


David Attenborough is always scurrying around in bushes, spying on animals copulating. I mean it’s just not right, is it? Fucking bad enough we have to listen to twat rambling on about the life cycle of the lesser crested newt, but at least you know what your going to get if you want to watch one of his programmes, which are brilliant in spite of the pompous dick and not because of him.

I suppose all that zoological stuff is right enough, if you like that sort of thing. What pisses me off is the fact that, because he has become a multi millionaire by milking the Beeb for nigh on fifty years he thinks I give a fuck what he thinks about politics and world affairs. ‘Cause I don’t. Not one, little, fucking bit.

Nominated by: Termujin