Token Strong Female ✔
Token Black actor ✔
Token Asian character ✔
Deficiency of creativity ✔
White Male baddie ✔
Toxic masculinity exposed ✔
Sensitive heroes ✔
Lack of humour ✔
Rehashing previous Star Wars ✔
Tepid, weak, average tat ✔
Less entertaining than its porn parodies ✔
All-inclusive cast ✔
Ultimately unsatisfying ✔
May The Cunt Be With You.
Nominated by Captain Magnanimous
Nomination for: Barbara Greenberg
She is an american psychologist who has defended the trend of (yes this is real) schools banning children from having best friends, in the usnews health website.
Anyone who isn’t an utter cunt of the highest order knows this is ridiculous as to be beyond a joke, but being a complete and utter cunt, she defends it, saying (among other things) …
“The notion of choosing best friends is deeply embedded in our culture. Nonetheless, there is, in my opinion, merit to the movement to ban having best friends.”
Hmmkay …
“there is something dreadfully exclusionary occurring when a middle schooler tells the girl sitting next to her that she is best friends with the girl sitting in front of them”
Dude! …
“if kids have best friends, does that also imply that they have “worst friends?”
Did a grown up actually type that on the internet (she is serious, there is no hidden context here?!)
“The word “best” encourages judgment and promotes exclusion.”
Oh my fucking god is she even self aware?!
Yes this woman said these things. She is an absolute, and utter, fucking, cunt.
Nominated by Cunting Wank Rags.
The Weeknd and champions of racism are cunts.
The Weeknd are a band that recently illuminated an unfortunate but genuine error on the part of H&M.
The clothing company created a photo of a young black kid with a shirt on that bore the logo “coolest monkey in the jungle”. The Weeknd have black members and felt the need to break off the contract with H&M.
This is blatant opportunism.
At some point, regular people are going to reach the goal of racism campaigners and will no longer see a person’s skin colour when interacting socially. At this point, people will say and do things that you could say contain racist sentiment but are in fact utterly genuine and benign.
This is what has happened here, but a black person has taken it upon themselves to keep racism alive.
They are cunts – it’s very much the “what you lookin’ at?” of the 21st century. Or, perhaps more appropriately, a living parody of The Great Bill Hicks’ “pick up the gun” sketch.
Evidently white people must continue to be vilified at all costs, and therefore I say Fuck You all.
Nominated by Cuntflap.
I’m back in Europe a matter of fucking days and my piss boileth over. Yesterday it was virtue signalling film “stars” and today the twitter mongs are melting down about a fucking cunting poster advertising cheap kids clothes.
When I saw the poster I just thought ” A young kid wearing a hoody”. Full fucking stop. But not the twitter mongs because on the hoody was the slogan “Coolest monkey in the jungle”. So fucking what?! The kid happens to be BLACK!!! Full scale twitter outrage within seconds. Have you ever noticed the people who bring race into everything are actually the racists? What is it they are objecting to? The hoody, the slogan or the fact that a black kid is wearing it? And I wonder how many black people are screaming “RACIST!”?
And the company behind it, H&M are fucking cunts and all for caving in to the twitter mongs by pulling the poster and issuing an apology. They should have stood their ground, faced down the twitterati and issued the following statement;
“We at H&M are a colour blind company. We do not see people in terms of how much melanin their skin contains, it is simply irrelevant to us. We view all people equally, we do not believe fracturing society into arbitrary groups based on supposed victim status is productive. Further, we suggest that those who do see skin colour first are cunts who can fuck off and die.”
Nominated by Skidmark Eggfart.
Dear Sir:
I write this letter to formally request your services in evaluating the cunt status of one Robert Swan Mueller, III. It is my firm belief that the evidence supports my allegation that he is indeed a cunt.
Mr. Mueller is a lawyer and the former FBI director in America. He is also, despite his fearmongering about Russian influence and his claims of impartiality, connected to the Russians in numerous ways himself (Besides “cunt”, you could accurately describe him as a “Russian bag man”, since he personally delivered uranium to a Russian plane on a tarmac, on the orders of Hillary Cunton herself). His successor, Andy McCabe (also alleged to be a cunt), was recently caught violating the Hatch Act by using the FBI for politically-motivated (against Trump) purposes. Mueller himself appears to have played a part in the plan to frame Trump for “colluding with Russia”, which was something that Mueller’s subordinates touted as an “insurance policy” in the unlikely event that he was elected. These seditious, conspiratorial, rat faced cunts are intent on replacing the somewhat ridiculous but well-intentioned Trump, with a pedigreed cunt like Canada’s mascot Turdeau (an unapologetically proud cunt just like his father), or a fellow pinko like France’s Macron (who for some reason can’t tell he’s a cunt, and fancies himself the next Napoleon). I am fairly certain that conspiring against a sitting president, and to go against the will of the electorate, is illegal. It might even be sedition or treason. And it’s definitely something a cunt would do.
With this evidence to consider, I’m nominating Mr Mueller for official cunt status. The issue has become quite contested as of late, because of some cunts (in the American media) that tell us he’s a respectable gentleman who should be trusted to run this important investigation, and that he is absolutely not a cunt, despite the overwhelming amount of evidence to the cuntrary.
Your attention to this matter is required urgently, as in some circles, this controversy has gotten quite heated on a number of occasions and debates have degenerated into huge brawls and the police pressing charges against several from the “he is not a cunt” crowd, for assault, buggery, and other various charges the cops sometimes stick cunts with. It is my hope that your certification of Mr. Mueller aids in resolving this tense situation, thus giving hope to America in a time of unprecedented division amongst its people.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Yours, etc,
Mike Hunt.
So the saviour of Brexit and natural successor to Treeza the Appeaser is sucking up to the EU province of France by suggesting to Macron we should build a 22 mile long bridge across Le Manche.
It’s a fucking stupid idea. Why? Well…
1. It’s prohibitably expensive
2. It would have to be so high to let shipping under it that the prevailing wind would mean it’d be unusable
3. How deep is the Channel? You’d need some pretty tall supports
4. How manoeuvrable are the big ships? Wouldn’t belong before one hit a support
The reason they built a tunnel is because a bridge was impractical. But never mind because BoJo thinks that a bridge would improve relations with Les Frogs. Presumably he’ll be suggesting we get Carillion to build it.
Apart from all that, why give the gimmegrants a new way to walk into Britain? Never mind building a bridge, let’s shut the fucking tunnel until the Fourth Reich get serious about stopping these migrants instead of helping them get across the Channel.
Boris, you’re a cunt and, if you’re serious about this, you’re a stupid fucking cunt…
Nominated by Dioclese
Boris Johnson. Monumental cunting.
Lets build a bridge to France!
Can’t believe two great nations are only connected by one train line.
Thumbs up pics with Macron.
Here’s an idea – don’t sell out, just give the cunts the key – the result will be the same.
Go ride a bike you senile cunt.
Nominated by King Cunt