How this cross-eyed cunt ever became famous baffles me. A face like a crushed bag of cement, exactly the same wooden performance in everything, and the miserable fucker’s “angsty” schtick always makes him look and sound half-pissed.
Fuck off, Neeson – you’re a massive cunt.
Nominated by Fred West
Yes. The British army … well, the top brass anyway, the soldiers are heroes as far as I’m concerned.
The best army in the world. The best trained and bravest troops there are, are now going to become care in the community counsellors for emotionally retarded snowflakes that feel like they don’t belong anywhere.
It’s not actually the army that’s to blame, it’s the retards at the top that employed a marketing company to help them recruit the extra soldiers that are needed.
Did this bunch of twats advise the army to focus on the excitement, travel opportunities, self discipline, toughness, resilience or comradery that comes with being in the army? Nope.
Did they advise the army that if they treat their soldiers better when they’d finished with them they’d see recruitment going up? Nope.
Did they advise that patriotism needs to be instilled in people by the education system and media instead of trying to make people feel guilty for being British? Did they fuck.
No they advised the army to make a marketing campaign based on diversity and CRYING.
Yes CRYING.
…. ? !
Not being fit. Not being ready to kill the enemy.
Being in touch with your emotions and basically being soft are apparrently the required qualities these days.
In other words, the last kind of cunt that anyone wants in the army.
Some of the toughest people imaginable go into this job and come out with ptsd. Emotionally and physically strong men go in and come out fucked up.
Who’s fucking bright idea is it to send the emotionally weak into these kind of situations? How do they think they’re going to come out?
I wouldn’t last 5 minutes in the army and I’m double ‘ard.
…ok that was a lie, I’m really a pussy but that’s why I never joined the army.
You need a certain degree of emotional resilience to go to another country and risk your life trying to kill enemies of this country. Especially these days when the enemy have no respect whatsoever for any of the “rules” of war. No pow camp if you surrender to the muzzies.
This is stupidity at its most negligent and if top brass think that this is the future of the army then we’re fucked.
Next they’ll be advising our troops to run, hide, tell.
I’ve been saying for ages that the lefties have purged politics, the media, the education system and the police.
I never thought they’d get the army.
If the army are desperate to recruit may I suggest that they provide better support for veterans and market that. A lot of people are put off the forces because they serve, risk their lives and then the government (and in some cases also the army) treat them like shit.
They should also tell the government to promote pride in this country instead of always talking us down and telling us we’re cunts for being patriotic.
Oh, and if someone wants to instigate a fraudulent court case against our troops tell em to fuck right off.
The latest adverts for the army are a fucking bad joke and I hope the army tell whoever commissioned them to fuck off to some African shithole and fucking dig latrines for the remainder of their careers.
They even have one about a Muslim that wants to stop to pray (surprise, surprise … can’t be British if you don’t mention a fucking muslim). “You can always find time to stop and pray in the army.”
I’d say that the army is actually the one job where stopping to pray is the worst idea that you could have, and will get your troop killed while you rub your nose on the floor and wiggle your arse in the air, chanting.
How many times per day do they need to pray?
5 was it?
Sure that’ll be practical when on excersises or operations.
Oh and is the scoff halal?
Lefty cunts.
Nominated by Deploy the Sausage
Besides being a cunt in his own right, Boy George can now be seen as the prototype for all the trannies who are “invading my space” in our current fucked up world.
Back then we sang along to his simple tunes, smiled at his blatant poofery and thought it was just simple “entertainment “. How wrong we were!
Now we know we are all “homophobes”…..”transphobes”….and, if they happen to be black, racists obviously.
I’m having second thoughts about this nomination. To be honest I don’t think George has the brains to have foreseen the shit world he helped to create, but he’s still a cunt anyway.
Nominated by Freddie the Frog
Congratulations to Shaun i.e me who has scored yet another Deadpool victory by picking the Fall frontman Mark E Smith who died this morning aged 60 after suffering from ill health brought about by a lifetime of boozing and chainsmoking.
On to Deadpool 81.
Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):
1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!
2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).
Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.
Nominations are now open on this post only. AND BEFORE YOU NOMINATE, FUCKING READ THE EXISTING NOMS TO CHECK THAT NONE OF YOUR PICKS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY! Good luck.
Shaun`s nominations:
Leah Bracknell
Marieke Vervoot
Shane MacGowan
Dean Francis
Liam Miller
Remember racehorse doping and greyhounds on steroids?
Well it seems beauty pageants are no longer immune to cheating.
We are used to Miss World, Miss Universe and their ilk but in Saudi Arabia they do not parade their women like that. Not wanting to miss out on beauty contests altogether, they have since 2000, held the annual camel beauty pageant. The festival also includes camel racing and camel milk tasting.
I guess it would be difficult to put a wife or five, or a daughter or a dozen, up for a beauty contest since they would all be wearing the same black sheet and pillow case emsemble. The bikini parade would be a tad difficult to judge under those circumstances.
Instead they enter their other prized possessions – their camels. Thousands of camels are paraded at the King Abdulaziz Camel Festival to be judged on their shapely lips and humps. You can hear the leacherous remarks “Nice pair of humps on her! Phooaaarrrrr”
The prize money totals a massive 40 million squids. That’s a lot of dosh for a smelly camel. With that kind of money on the line, the cheating A-rabs have been giving botox injections to inflate the lips, nose and jaws of their beasts. This year twelve camels were banned by the judges for cheating.
What next DD hump jobs for camels?
Nominated by Mike Oxard.