How this mindless, fucking dross has been promoted to a prime time viewing slot instead of staying where it would be most appreciated, entertaining the unemployed in the afternoon, is a mystery.

The piss easy quiz, based on the ‘2p machine’ arcade game, plays host to some of the dumbest fucks I have ever seen on TV. Why they choose to apply to go on a quiz programme when they clearly have the IQ of a mouse, is as remarkable as how they get past the audition.

I have just witnessed one contestant, answering from multiple choice, that a ‘constable’ is most likely to be found working in the ambulance service. It wasn’t even the most stupid answer in the show. On the off chance that one of the morons makes a correct guess, they then have no fucking idea how to drop the counters into the machine to make them land flat.

It’s probably just as well that they are too stupid to win most of the time, because if they do, they get to experience Ben Shephard rubbing against them, as he excitedly jumps up and down while hugging them.

And I know what you are thinking. Yes I’ve watched it more than once.

Fuck off, stop judging me!

Nominated by The Cunt of Monte Cristo

A talking shop for the professional, terminally self-obsessed fuckwit, trying to out professional all the other professional and semi-professional terminally self-obsessed fuckwits. It’s like a web based front-end for all the bollock chop wannabes without the stones to apply for ‘The Apprentice’ to gather and tout wares and alleged wisdom via the medium of badly shot, unscripted videos in portrait mode or, regurgitated modern parables about helping a homeless person become a CEO after saving a dog that’s fallen in the drink because it’s owner is a fucking moron. All of these fuckers are trying to become influencers … translate as `bossy know it all cunts who think they know what’s best for everyone else, regardless of individuality, culture, country, field of endeavour, or demographic…generalising, catch-all cunts.

It’s also become a place where lick-spittle sycophants get to rim the collective arse of corporations. Why the fuck would you post a missive on a post by Microsoft or Dell or any corporations auto-generating spam cannon? Do they think Satya Nadella is sitting there so bored to fucking tears he’s scrolling through LinkedIn looking for inspiration or future employees? These self-proclaimed influencers aren’t at their desk spewing out trite nonsense about being loyal to brand, work hard, play hard, don’t fuck your colleagues (and if you do make sure you have a bullet proof NDA, a retained hitman, or secret and unfulfilled fantasies about living in a box under a bridge penniless and stinking, or being bummed sideways in a prison shower). They have a band of professional terminally self-obsessed fuckwits in the media department sitting in a break-out area wanging on about their first world problems, while re-hashing the same old shite they’ve been remorselessly pumping out like a Muslim call to prayer five times a day since, Linkedin plopped out the arse of Facebook like very wet fart that follows a shit, after you pulled your undies up.

It is a desperate, virtue signalling portal for those hoping that some cocksucker with a god complex will eventually smile upon them, gift them wings, a directorship and a twenty six figure salary, all in exchange for their every waking or unwaking hour.

LinkedIn is also the only place on the web where swearing is poo-pooed (unless it’s something worthy being sworn about..like dogs falling in the drink and moronic owners). It’s the only place on the web where telling jokes is just `Soooooo unprofessional’. It’s the only place on the web where being patronising, condescending or belittling in the guise of `debate’ isn’t seen as trolling. It’s also the one place where if you’re a bloke and you are NOT pictured askance to a camera in a shirt and tie, you’re clearly a pleb. BUT, if you’re a half decent looking sort, it’s perfectly OK to push out those titties, trout that pout and do your best office bike impersonation while (and this fucking galls me), expecting to be seen as an ultra- professional, modern woman.

Guess what LinkedIn cunts, there’s more to life than work and your boss is almost guaranteed not to be at your funeral when he’s wrung you out and you turn toes up, leaving the once office slapper who’s gone to seed and a couple of half-witted entitled children in the hands of the tallyman.

Nominated by GGRF

The Impartial British Press are richly deserving of a cunting.

This Sunday morning, the Daily Fail (a Tory rag) published an article on the 40 marginal seats that they must win to secure a majority, presumably in an effort to frighten the public with the spectre of a left wing bunch of commies running the country.

Then along comes the Labour rag, The Grauniad, with a list of 50 seats where you must vote tactically to keep the wicked Tories out.

I read both just to keep a sense of balance in what’s being said, but for fuck’s sake they need to get a grip and stop spreading scare stories and propaganda and trying their best to bend the outcome of the election to their own warped, infantile views of the country.

Fuck ’em all and the horse they rode in on…

Nominated by Dioclese

It seems now that the two people who were murdered by Usman Khan were part of some Cambridge University rehabilitation nonsense:

https://www.cctl.cam.ac.uk/tlif/learning-together/details

Talk about making a rod for your own back. The cunt was invited to attend the bloody celebrations. I don’t have a degree from Cambridge University, I have to rely on common sense, but I suggest the lecturers reassess the validity of this particular curriculum.

If they were to adopt my method of reformation as administered by Albert Pierrepoint, the terrorist would be just as dead, but the students would still be alive.

Nominated by Duke of Cuntshire

What is Learning Together?

Learning Together says it brings together offenders and those in higher education “to study alongside each other” in equal partnership.
The University of Cambridge said the programme “has broken down prejudices and created new possibilities for all of those who took part”.

When will these bleeding heart fools learn? The Mayor’s kinsman who murdered two of the Learning Together participants was much enriched by the concern of this group. His prejudices were certainly broken down.

Islam cannot be rehabilitated. Anyone who thinks it can be is a fool, probably based in the leafy towers of academe.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Sadiq Khan is a major Khunt. So far this year, there have been 133 fatal stabbings in London, just one less than the 134 stabbings of last year. As Mayor of London, Khan is responsible for the police and the safety of the public, something that he has proved to be a total and abject failure at. In fact, I’m now at a point where I think London would be off if they had Johnny English or Gordon Brittass as Mayor.

It has to be said, a large number of the victims have been gangster types, but a large number have been innocent, law abiding people just going about their daily business. Instead of ordering the police to unleash a massive crackdown on gangs and those who consider carrying knives to be a sign that their ‘ard as fuck’, Khan has spent much of his tenure getting into a twitter war with Donald Trump (which he even engaged in while Trump was here for the NATO summit) and spunking money up the wall on vanity projects like the Hate Crime Hub, which is basically a place that whiney Muslims go to complain whenever someone tells the truth about Islam being a pretty nasty, violent cult. Something which has cost the taxpayer £1.7 million. So far.

Khan’t was elected by those from minority groups, such as Muslims and those black groups who hate White people, on the promise that he would keep them safe from racist crime and racist law enforcement. The irony of that is, much of the violence committed has been black on black. In fact, I’m struggling to think of a single attack in which both the attacker and the victim were white British. As per usual, Khan’t is quick to blame the Tories and their nefarious cuts. But the fact remains that, as Mayor, it is HE to whom the Metropolitan police ultimately answer. Therefore, it is HE who is ultimately responsible for the Khanage currently taking place in London.

Not long ago, I saw an interview with a Black British born gang leader. He said that part of the reason knife and machete attacks are increasing and becoming increasingly savage is because of foreign gangs, particularly Somalian gangs. He said they come from countries that has virtually no law and order and the gangs virtually rule the streets. They come here and immediately start trying to muscle in, using as savage tactics as they can. The gang leader then said it had forced British born gangs to ‘up their game’.

Even with resources they currently have, Khan’t could order the police to carry out a massive crackdown on these gangs tomorrow and there would be a massive drop in knife crime in the days after. Instead, he sits in his taxpayer funded ivory tower, blaming the Tories and shooting pointless shit missiles at Donald Trump. And it’s worth pointing out that while Boris Johnson was Mayor of London, even with a background of police cuts, crime actually went down under his tenure.

Sadiq Khan is just a useless cunt.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw