Paws if you will, for not Pete and Dud, the great satirists, but some vacuous looking arsehole from Kent called Peter Cook, who has decided to let Stan the Cat stand as an anti-Brexit candidate in the forthcoming election:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/anti-brexit-cat-stand-general-20883616

Of course, the Daily Mirror and some of its readers who have an IQ of 5 think this is a wonderful idea, but to me it just shows how life is falling into the gutter and it seems to be encouraged by the Establishment.

Poor Stan, fancing having to depend on a cunt like this for his well-being – his “owner” probably has to have social services wipe his arse for him every day when he takes a dump.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

That’s right, don’t question it, the benefits are there to be seen by even a blind man.

Take Svenson Ong-a-Kwie for example. Proper multicultural import, Scandinavian first name and diverse surname. 19-years-old and stabs an innocent 17-year-old girl, member of the Scouts in the back. Her crime? Ermmm, there wasn’t any, other than she looked liked a girl, so Ong-a-Kwie stabbed her in the back, “cus he thort she was sum uder bitch”.

Maybe Svenson was born in the UK, but I’d wager his parents weren’t however, to quote the late Great Bernard Manning, ‘just because a camel is born in a stable doesn’t make it a horse’.

Perhaps Svenson was a budding architect who wanted to transfer his skills back to the Sub-Saharan shit hole that one of his parents came from? Maybe Svenson was just misunderstood and set about really wanting to change the world but was turned to crime because of the heavy hand of Whitey who took exception to his ‘mischievous ways’.

Whatever, we’ll never know because yet again another black life has been ruined in the void created by white imperialism, Svenson had a chance but that chance was so cruelly taken by the unconscious bias Svenson and so many other immigrants face today in so called ‘Multicultural Britain’.

Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface

A cunting please for…THE SCHOOL TRIP!

Like me, many here will remember the days of the school trip, usually at the end of term and just before the summer holidays. A day out in Whitby perhaps, or some other useless cunt of a place. The cost was usually a few bob, lunch a bag of chips and home at the end of the day.

Well fuck that! Today’s little cunts fare better! My granddaughter (Yr 11) has returned today with details of one of the three options for a School trip. Thailand! Fucking Thailand! (the other two options being….Beijing and San Francisco) She wants to go to Thailand because it is the cheaper of the three places at £2999 per person! Spaces are limited to 60 pupils on each trip (£179,000 per group)!!! My beef is…the cost, the rip off, and the lingering feeling some cunt is making a killing on either backhanders or freebies. Now. Remember I said there were three options for Yr 11… well that is over half a million quid for the three trips! FFS! How many fucking parents can afford to let little Johnny fuck off to foreign parts for a jolly, especially when they may have other children in the queue to go as well.

Firstly, which stupid cunt of a headteacher dreams up this shit? How much kickback does the twat get? (don’t tell me they don’t) and what fucking benefit (educationally) does little Johnny get from a trip to Thailand, apart from having his arse reamed and his balls squeezed by some Gary Glitter cunt?

BTW, Teachers go free!

Bollocks to the snowflake, all giving, all squaring School Trip!

Nominated by Asimplearsehole

A “You’re fired” cunting for former Apprentice wannabee, Joanna Jarjue. No, me neither.

Apparently, this Immigrant has had an on air row with Piers Morgan about the anthem ‘Rule Brittania’, which she thinks should be banned because it reminds her of slavery! …… Boo fucking hoo.

This Cunt is 25 years old, came from The Gambia, and is now laying down the law like the entitled, snowflake bitch she is. I suppose she’d prefer it if we all went around singing negro spirituals, or suchlike. If you don’t fucking like it, then fuck off back to where you came from. There is nothing for you here, and as far as I’m concerned, you’re not fucking wanted.

If she must say anything about slavery, then she could mention the fact that the Royal Navy was at the forefront of the drive to stamp out the slave trade, but of course she won’t, because whitey is bad.

‘Hearts of oak are our ships,
Hearts of oak are our men:
We always are ready;
Steady, boys, steady;
We’ll fight and we’ll conquer again and again’

She probably doesn’t like that either, if she’s ever heard it.

Get To Fuck.

Nominated by Jack The Cunter

How this mindless, fucking dross has been promoted to a prime time viewing slot instead of staying where it would be most appreciated, entertaining the unemployed in the afternoon, is a mystery.

The piss easy quiz, based on the ‘2p machine’ arcade game, plays host to some of the dumbest fucks I have ever seen on TV. Why they choose to apply to go on a quiz programme when they clearly have the IQ of a mouse, is as remarkable as how they get past the audition.

I have just witnessed one contestant, answering from multiple choice, that a ‘constable’ is most likely to be found working in the ambulance service. It wasn’t even the most stupid answer in the show. On the off chance that one of the morons makes a correct guess, they then have no fucking idea how to drop the counters into the machine to make them land flat.

It’s probably just as well that they are too stupid to win most of the time, because if they do, they get to experience Ben Shephard rubbing against them, as he excitedly jumps up and down while hugging them.

And I know what you are thinking. Yes I’ve watched it more than once.

Fuck off, stop judging me!

Nominated by The Cunt of Monte Cristo