Sorry to be a boring old bastard but may I humbly request another cunting for James Corden.

Just seen a picture of the unfunny cunt sporting a beard (the face that should be hit by a thousand bricks)

The man is a mega cunt as it is, his face now represents a rather tatty Mangalitzer’s (curly coated variety of pig from Hungary getting popular here in Lincolnshire as the Lincolnshire curly coated pig became extinct in the 1970’s) nether regions.

He may have wads of wonga but he has no class, style,or anything else.and about as funny as a doctors waiting room full of illegals with infectious TB, new varieties of the Pox and AIDS.

Nominated by: Black biscuit 

Emergency rubber dinghy size cunting for the Border Farce, Polis and Serco, who are all complicit in bringing 100s of illegal migrants to our shores everyday then shipping them quietly off out of Dover to house them in hotels all over the country.

U.K. Patriot was arrested yesterday at a car park in Dover for filming one of these fine fellows going about his work ushering the gimmegrants into the bus.

It’s a fucking silent invasion and no one in power in this poxy government is doing a fucking thing to prevent it.

Nominated by ?????????

(edited for unacceptable racist language – Admin)

A pebble dashed, burning ring cunting for that diabolical malady with the Medical term of “Gastric Upset ” but better described as “a dose of the Screaming Shits. ”

For two days now I have not been able to be more than a few steps away from the throne as the bubbling volcano in my guts keeps erupting without warning. All I have had to eat is dry toast and am trying to keep hydrated.

I suspect it all started from a dodgy seafood Pizza. I have never had it as bad as this before. My freckle is red raw from all the scouring and blotting.

Any fellow cunters know of a quick cure? Immodium has done fuck all and the antibiotics have not kicked in.

Nominated by: Grumpy Old Cunt

(Enjoy your breakfast! – Admin)

Before lockdown, my choice of exercise was swimming. Something you can do now but not here in Leicester, but that’s not the cunting. It’s the apps. ‘How many steps have you done? Loads, probably because I’ve got the runs.’ Fuck off, you cunt.

I’m not allowed to go swimming, I’ve devised a speedwalk up and down three hills that I do three time times a week to assist with keeping me fit (can’t run, bad back – as an aside I’m listening to knee grows bitch about whatever on the fahkin’ news).

I’ve had few but fitness apps deserve a cunting.

CUNTS!

(Sorry admin. I’ve had ‘a few’)

Nominated by: Dark key cunt 

Local lockdowns are cunts, or more specifically the people that cause them.

I live in one of the areas recently highlighted where infection rates are on the rise. It’s no surprise to me that all of these areas have a large proportion of a particular demographic of people living within them. I’m sure you can guess I’m referring to a peaceful community, who delight in regular gatherings with bare feet. Now I’m not about to say this is all their fault, but there’s no coincidence that all the areas affected have higher than average Asian populations.

Just as with most issues; crime, sexual abuse, paedophilia, poverty. These communities don’t believe that it’s their problem, but it fucking well is! These communities need to learn that if they continue to ignore hygiene and social distancing advice, more of them will die. Not only that but they’re putting every other cunt at risk too. I hope the government does undertake an in depth review as to why the virus seems to affect more BAME communities than white. They’ll no doubt obfuscate the real reason though and no doubt blame white people for touching more than one bag of chicken dippers whilst in the supermarket.

Nominated by: elcuntio