Avatvars.

Some on this site are good – Fistula, Fiddler, Jack the Cunter, Shackledragger and Routledge – but in general avatars are as forgettable as an advert on a bush shelter. They´re either a snap of the person smiling, alone or with his ugly wife, fat girlfriend, spoiled brat or scabby dog. Sometimes a fuzzy landscape from a Holiday trip. As the avatars are miniscule, they give no idea of the extent of the Grand Canyon or view from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Waste of time you idiot!

What I particularly hate are the atavars used professionally. Some prick has fucked up a job, not replied to you phone calls or e-mails and when he finally contacts you through WhatsApp, we find him grinning ecstatically while his Siamese cat licks his horrible face. Meanwhile, the leak he allegedly fixed in your crapper has returned and you are ankle deep in sewage. Fuck you and your cat! Just get down here now and do the job properly you pussy-loving piece of keech! .

BTW, my own WhatsApp avatar shows a family crest that allows me to claim ancestry from some Gaelic clan chief. If I met him now I´d kick him up the arse for the road he subsequently led our Family of mad hatters up.

Nominated by: Mr Polly

I want to nominate stupid minor domestic injuries that cause excruciating pain.

For example, I have a habit of walking around my house in bare feet.
Once, when I had finished ironing, I unplugged the iron and left it to cool.
Some time later I was walking through the front room thinking about something else and stepped on the plug and must have leapt about 10 feet into the air. It’s a wonder I didn’t hit my head on the ceiling.

Another little mishap was when I caught my little toe on the bottom of the shower door frame upon leaving the shower one morning. I uttered some interesting words that time.

Perhaps this is also a self nomination of sorts for being an occasionally absent minded, accident prone cunt.

Nominated by: Harold Steptoe

Guy Verhofstadt is due another nomination.

Yesterday (Tuesday 4th August) Verhofstadt announced his desire for an EU army. Again. His comments give rise to the lie by the likes Nick Clegg and other remainers during the campaigning for the referendum that the EU was NOT planning to create its own army. He’s also been whingeing that that nasty orange man, Trump is trying to bullying them by withdrawing about 12,000 US troops from Germany and deploying them elsewhere in Europe. This is a blatant lie. Trump isn’t bullying them at all. He’s sick of tired of the US being the biggest financial contributor to NATO, while most EU countries enjoy the freedom and security that the US is providing them. Most EU countries don’t even pay their share. In fact, Greece is the only EU member to pay the full amount it’s supposed to pay. The UK is the second largest contributor.

The other EU countries, especially Germany, flat out refuse to fully pay their dues, presumably because they believe that the EU army will give them an equally powerful alternative. It won’t. In my opinion, Trump is doing exactly the right thing by moving those troops out of Germany, because the Krauts want to have the security of having the world’s most powerful military stationed within its borders, without any obligation to help pay for them. Trump is not bullying them, he’s simply sick of the US funding the protection for EU states that don’t want to contribute. Guy knows that, but as usual, he’s lying through his ugly teeth. He’s a cunt.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

The other half and I tried to have a nice day out and went to a very attractive park to spend an hour before going home.

The park was occupied by a group of cunts who all resembled Baldrick’s idiot younger brother leaping about and shrieking and banging these tom tom drums. It was fucking excruciating.

How guns cannot be legal here I don’t know ,with this sort of pitiful ballbaggery being played out for the entertainment of passers by,whether they like it or not.

Any public space now is a stage for these bastards. I saw a stupid cunt sat on the pavement playing a didgeridoo at a village fete,so we had the shocking din and someone tripping over it every five minutes.

For Dog’s sake make it stop.

Nominated by: Mary Hinge

The Middle East goes BOOM! Again.

Was it a fireworks factory? Were the Iranians fucking up again? Was is Mos sad doing what they don’t they need to do (they blow themselves up, and you know this).

I’ll be fucking honest with you. I don’t give a fuck. Less of them on boats across the channel.

Nominated by: Dark key cunt

(https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/08/lebanon-eyes-state-emergency-deadly-beirut-blast-live-200804234925493.html

We’re assuming the nomination relates to this incident in Lebanon a couple of days ago – admin)