A small parcel, second class sorting office level cunting for the non-delivery service that is the Royal Mail please.

I was at work and missed a parcel delivery earlier this week. The Post person Card left through the the door said ‘something for you’.
Two parcels, but only collect if you have to, due the the Chinese bat flu. Try and arrange a reschedule on-line.

As I work close to the sorting office, I thought I would venture there the next day before going to work. Rather take my chances with the virus than logging into the Royal Mail website. It was early, which was good as they have changed the opening time 7am to 9am only. Due to CVD19 apparently but not mentioned on the card, However this was Wednesday, and yup, they are closed all day on a Wednesday. Says the sign in the fucking doorway, when you get there.

Logged in later that day and managed to reschedule. Actually quite straightforward.

On the day of delivery there’s a knock on the door of Cunty towers and I spy there is package left on the door step. Only one, so I collar the postie ‘scuse me the card says two items’….

‘Hmmmfh’ is the reply, ‘did you request two on the re-delivery?’

Yes….. And here is the calling card proving two items….

Hmmmmff, Rummage in bag…. Oh yeah. Here it is.

Nominated by: LeonardoDiCunty

A right on, clenched fist cunting for Congresswoman Maxine Waters of California, snowflake capital of the world.

Waters recently stopped her car and went to ‘assist’ a black man who had been pulled over by the police in LA. She stated ‘they stopped a brother so I went to see what they were doing’.

What they were doing? Heaven forbid, they may have been doing their jobs! I couldn’t say whether her actions might constitute interfering in police business, but they strike me as ill-judged to say the least. What would she have done if her ‘bro’ had pulled out a gun and started shooting?

And doesn’t her ‘stopped a brother’ rhetoric tell us all that we really need to know? Without any prior knowledge of the situation, it pretty much looks as though her immediate assumption was that the actions of the police were racially motivated. Moreover, I’d say that we can safely conclude that if it hadn’t been ‘a brother’ who’d been stopped, she’d have just carried straight on by without bothering to ‘assist’. Now to me, that seems to be, well, a little bit, you know, racist…

No doubt the congresswoman feels smug to have scored a few plus points with the woke BLM crowd, but in my view, she’s made herself look like a sanctimonious, busy-bodying humbug.

In short, a cunt.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

(Imagine a 3-way with her and Flabbott! Only the desperate need apply – admin)

Especially American punk rock is a massive cunt. A manufactured pile of shit remake of UK punk because like most things those yank cunts try to replicate off us, its fucking shit! All them cunts like Blink 182, Sum 41 etc. are the cunts I’m referring to.

(aside from “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”, Green Day are tragically and one dimensionally crap too – admin)

Every day I hear that droney terrible shit on the radio and I’ve had to start muting it when it comes on because it annoys me that much. Luckily the cunts haven’t quite tarnished the likes of The clash or Sex Pistols’ reputation, but made good fucking effort of it. All their songs have the same wrist slitting cuntish tone to them with all the cunts looking like hippy doloids with their blue and pink fucking hair (GROWN FUCKING BLOKES WITH BLUE FUCKING HAIR).

American punk epitomises everything I hate about yanks. Rehashed, manufactured cunts who take good things from other countries especially us and drag it through the fucking dirt. Shame on you horrible yank cunts and those cunts on Radio X for always promoting them. Those cunts are also part of the fucking problem by playing their shit. I suggest a petition is started to outlaw all of their shit music anywhere outside their cuntish wasteland.

Nominated by: Lord Cuntington 

Money Expert (that shit-whacked switching site and which is absolutely not Money Saving Expert but does fuck-all to differentiate itself)… is a cunt.

If this bunch of useless ignorant cunts with their shite UKTV play advert with some overpaid tart fannying around to right said freds one-shit-wonder to flog their shitty switching site isn’t enough- the bastards send round knobs in a high viz jackets at all hours pretending to be from the council or something to get you to sign up to some shitty deal from their pre-selected pile of companies who shove them a bung with every poor sap they bully into switching into some other crap shit deal and stitching them up over the exit fees. fuckerS!

For those of us who stick a big fuck-off sign on our doors saying no cunting-cold callers or unwashed salestwats these jizz free bell ends with their cheap tablets ignore them so often you wonder if they were held down and bleach tipped into their eyes which would explain the huge big fuck-off blind spot they say they have when they mumble “I didn’t see that big fuck off sign sir/madam – are you paying too much for your fucking electricity?”. Sometimes they come in pairs so you don’t know whose big-fuck-off nose and smug face you want to punch first.

Now we are all getting back to some sense of normality these shitfaced bastards are roaming the streets again – best case scenario, they’ll cough on you and you won’t get nothing. Worst case they’re riddled with COVID and will splutter all over you when they say “professional” bringing down anyone over 70 in your street or who are shielding sending them six feet under before their time. Within a month these Money Expert doorstepping pricks will centuple the R-rate just for doing their pissing jobs.

The saddest thing is that in some kind of coup they’ve buggered my childhood by taking all-round good-girl and CountryFile presenter Michaela Strachan and swindled her to endorsing them and their piss-poor website giving them a sense of credibility that anyone who has had the misfortune to deal with them is wondering why someone who is relatively harmless would take their relatively respectable career and nail it to a fucking dumpster truck just because these arses asked her to.

As letters, signs and fuck-knows-what doesn’t work on this dicks I’ve taken to buying a big fuck-off German Shepard and keeping a baseball bat by the door the next time these pricks come to visit

Nominated by: Bum Bag 

(Just to clarify, this has nothing to do with Martin Lewis’ “Money Saving Expert” website. https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/2016/04/warning-money-expert-cold-callers-are-nothing-to-do-with-moneysavingexpertcom/

 – admin)