Who is this garlic scented French wanker I hear you say. Well, Pierre-Henri (Onri as he would say) is a poitician, who seems to thik it is Britain’s fault that some 16 year oldwould-be illegal immigrant drowned himself while attempting rubber boating yesterday:

https://www.aol.co.uk/news/2020/08/19/french-politician-blames-uk-for-death-of-young-sudanese-migrant/

How the fuck is it our fault that this young lad met his sad end?. I doubt Boris,or even Dame Kweer forced him onto the Calais beach or into his boat (though I suspect Kweer would have liked to with a “whoops duckie, another vote for my Labour”)

The Bishop of Dover (yes there is one – I wonder if Ponders End has their own Bishop?) says we must show more understanding for people who risk their lives to obtain “freedom”. They would have that in Europe, what he means is they risk their lives for greed, for what they can screw out of us.

I would suggest Dumont keeps his bowels open and his mouth shut.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

This is a bit of an off the wall nomination, but makes a change from the many (deserved) nominations for the BBC, EU etc…

Anyway, preamble over, I want to nominate limescale prevention tablets.

Following instructions on the packet, I place the tablet at the back of the washing machine drum. As soon as the cycle starts, it immediately finds its way to the front of the machine and lodges itself in the rubber seal behind the door. It stubbornly remains there as a half dissolved blob until the spin cycle, when it worms its way right into the middle of the washload and then I find a load of gritty residue in my clothes.

Do any other cunters have nominations for irritating domestic items, not including your spouse? (Vacuum Cleaners: noisy smelly fucking things the missus uses first thing Sunday mornings while I’m still in kip – Day Admin)

Nominated by: mystic maven

Early on thursday morning (04.55am) they’re showing the film ‘Flash Gordon’ on the Sky Villains channel. The Sky Guide description reads:

“This film has outdated attitudes, language and cultural depictions which may cause offence today. Hero Flash Gordon races to save Earth from the Emperor Ming.”

Are they serious? This is a PG film. It’s ‘Flash Gordon’ (1980), not ‘Flesh Gordon’ (1974).

You could say that every film made before 1970 has outdated attitudes. Why would the idiots at Sky think we need this warning?

I find their description offensive. Fuck off, Sky.

Nominated by: Allan 

Hold tight to your corsets, Dame Keir Starmer, it seems, bright eyed an bushy tailed one of the old waxworks of the past is after your job. I refer of course, to the great “charity” worker, defender of South Shields, and gutless back-stabber David Miliband.

Old Dave has appeared for two consecutive weeks in that bastion of New Labour newspeak, The London Standard free newspaper. Last week, he was wittering on about dining in America in social distancing days (made it harder for hi to lick the arsehole of his host), now, having been in the States for years, the bumptious one has denied the shenanigans of 2017 (doubtess he has a crystal ball):

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/david-miliband-jeremy-corbyn-labour-party-2017-election-a4520941.html

How would the little motherfucker know?. I am no fan of Corbyn but it was undeniable that there were certain “ultra Bairites” in the Labour party who put the boot in every day from 2015 onwards, including Wes Streeting, Neil Coyle, Bendover Brdshaw, Yvette Sugartits Cooper, and every one of the cunts who dissed him were right-wingers. Blair himself was forever mincing about laying down the poison.

I suspect the truth is Mili is fed up with his “charity” work and realises that by becoming a shadow minister, and the extras he can cream off as “expenses” he would be better off with the movers and shakers (on in the Starmer case, the mincers and benders) in the I-can-be-whatever-you-want-me-to-be-duckie Labour party.

Just as Starmer hung on for grim death in a shadow cabinet he had nothing in common with, till he got the chance to replace old Steptoe if he is daft enough (oh yes he is!) to have mincing Mili back he will go the same way when Starmer loses in 2024. I am sure Jimmy Purnell head of BBC news and “education” would bend over backwards to help his little friend. After all, he was his co-conspirator in 2009.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs