Last few days ive felt a bit tired,
The akita gets me up early,
Few big jobs on,
But felt low energy.
Woke up this morning and one side of my face had swollen up!
Looked like fuckin Popeye!
Abcess.
Had them before, they poison your blood, can be pretty bad if left untreated.
Fuckin teeth the treacherous bastards, so been the dentist who was about 12yrs and he told me in his expert opinion it was a abcess
So on antibiotics and cant touch alcohol for 7days, then get the tooth yanked,
Ive more fingers than teeth,
I fell asleep sat upright before
At bleeding teatime,
Abcesses are poisoners like the Russians.
They are truly cunts.

(Thanks for making me look through a ton of gross disgusting pictures – NA)

Nominated by: Miserable Northern Cunt

An urgent, XXXJug-eared cunting for Mike Craven-Todd, whose auricular flaps would make St. Gary jealous. This psycho-eyed, with more than a slight hint of the diddler about him twat keeps popping up bemoaning the fact that he has to go to shitehole cuntries to watch the appalling sights – kiddies drinking polluted water; this natuwally makes him vewy angwy. Vewy vewy angwy indeed. Apparently every two minutes we don’t send dosh to WaterAid, some junior aspiring architect dies. In this season of goodwill, I persuade fellow cunters to do as I have done – namely to sit back, make obscene gestures at the screen, and put £2- in my own Christmas box, towards a bottle or three of Balfour’s sparkling white from the Coop.
(nb: Lady HBelinda does not sit on the Coop board. Nor does she sit on any of their faces)

Nominated by: HBelindaHubbard

Amazon, their Staff and Drivers.
A Yuletide cunting for these cunts please. A new Amazon depot has opened near Cunty towers. Hmm you think so what? Well the drivers cannot follow the highway code for a start.Any turning off the road, blocked by a fucking Amazon van. Ask them nicely to move fuck off. There are a set of traffic lights at the depot, Yours turn green, some cockwomble is coming out on a red light. I was always told that red meant stop, silly me.
Next onto the staff, long fence behind the bus stop, diamond link fencing. Where do you think the Coffee cups go? Yup you got it in the fucking fence. A veritable new plastic artwork, done by fucking Amazon’s monkeys.
Who do you think clears this artwork up, you’ve got it the fucking council.
Why the fuck they (the council) don’t get the useless fucking rozzers to prosecute the cunts, fuck only knows
Must finish now before my bladder bursts under the pressure of my piss boiling.

Nominated by: CuntyMort

Added to by: Norman…

Oh, and never order a 12′ record or LP from Amacunts. It’s packed in a flimsy plastic bag and loads of other crap is put on top of it in the van. Said record arrives with dog eared sleeve. Complete bollocks.

…and talking of Amazon, here’s one from Cuntologist 

Black Friday on Amazon

Don’t see any amazing deals just a few quid off tat I don’t need that still seems expensive for what it is.

The Black Friday home page is currently proudly displaying ‘0ver 30% off Giant Toblerone 4.5kg Jumbo Bar for £44.99, was £73.99.’ Do I want it? No, that’s nearly 50 quids worth of chocolate. Ridiculous!

Do I want £20 off an Echo Dot? No, little spying machine fuck off. I’ve got two legs and two hands, happy to select my own channel or look up the weather or whatever.
Do I want a Shark vacuum cleaner that was £350 and is now almost £200? No, still too expensive for something that sucks up dust.

Bah humbug to it all.

Also piling in on Amazon is General Tso’s Chiggun:

I would like to nominate packaging. I picked up a weighted blanket in Amazon’s Black Friday Week sale to help with my sleep, which arrived today. And, lo and behold, it is packaged in not one, but TWO separate boxes, both sellotaped tighter than a nun’s cunt. What is the fucking point of that?

Lets have a round the telly, Christmas cunting for the upcoming Christmas television schedules. By fuck they have pulled the stops out!

Mrs Brown’s boys
Call the fucking Midwife
The fucking Vicar of fucking Dibley
For woke drama for 7 year olds there is —- Dr fucking Who
The Repair Shop. At fucking Christmas. Thrills and spills.
The Story of SM:TV Live which is apparently about cunt and cunt when they were cheeky young cunts. I cant wait.
And, wait for it – Birds of a Feather. Shite when I was a Lad. Shiter now.
There’s more — Blankety fucking Blank as well as Miranda Hart. I am shitting myself in anticipation.

All this topped off with Mary Berry ‘saving Christmas’

Bring back Rolf and Jimmy. And perhaps Stuart on Its a Christmas Knockout.

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble 

A big festive “get your finger out of my pie” cunting for Joe Biden president elect.

Not even polished the arse of his trousers on the big chair in the Oval Office and the dopey cunt is banging on about Brexit, borders and how the peace treaty must not be put in jeopardy.

Well joe how about a big mug of shut the fuck up?

The majority of subjects who voted, voted out. If being a hostage to the eu commission was the choice favoured then the majority of votes would have been for stay in and be shafted surely or sorely.

The majority of voters voted out and as this is supposed to be a democracy even our useless wank government had to play along.

After many trials and tears the country appears to be on the verge of exiting the eu of course the four years was not long enough to arrange some sort of permanent eu benefit fund so we hang on tenterhooks waiting.

Four years of waffle, lies, threats almost over as we await what will most likely be the worst trade deal in fucking history.

But all is not lost big joe Biden president elect sticks his fucking oar in. For fucks sake joe this is fuck all to do with you, Clinton and all the other cunts.

This process started as a democratic referendum the most votes win. A more basic example of democracy would be hard to find. You fuckers are always banging on about rights, democracy etc so fuck off and accept our democratic choice. We get screwed by our own politicians we don’t need you as well.

Nominated by: Black biscuit

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1362984/Joe-biden-president-Brexit-deal-back-of-the-uk-trade-agreement-us-uk-EVG

…..and this from W.C. Boggs

JOE BIDEN:

A Stars & Stripes, not to mention comfy commode and stainless steel truss and Sterodent cunting please for fake Irish Yank Joe Biden, who true to form, when he is not sitting on his scrawny arse pontificating over matters that are of no concern to him (Brexit for example) or crawling up Iran’s arse, proves he is a man of action, by playing with his dog. But the useless old cunt can’t even do that without injuring himself:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-55127559

Will the raddled old arsewipe even take office?. I can see him resigning due to ill health in the next few weeks, retiring to the Lee Harvey Oswald Twilight Home, where he can help soil the blanket of Jimmy Carter and leave it to the woman of colour who is desperate to become even more loud=mouthed than Hilary Clinton.

The head of the free world is a weak senile old cunt, and the BBC and MSM are so happy about it.