I’m an oldish cunt who plays video games using a fucking pile of shit called Steam. I play a game called Dirt Rally 2 for the pure enjoyment of driving rally cars old and new. Pure escapism from the current absolute bullshit.
Ad banners are an accepted part of games now, advertising codemasters new games, computer related, energy drinks etc. I have absolutely zero problems with that, they pay to have the ad banner.
A few months ago I noticed the banners had changed to NHS banners saying ‘Feeling Low’ and other bullshit with the point pushing help for mental health problems. After a while I got a bit fucked off with all this bollocks so Wednesday I stated to the community I was quite offended by NHS propaganda. (The NHS are not selling a product). Yesterday I checked my comment on Steam, 6 comments from obvious admins saying I’m a bit of a crybaby, then discussion locked. Hmmm. Today I logged in, played the game for 30 minutes, tried to exit game, black screen. Restarted pc, the game is uninstalled. I did not uninstall it. Now I’ve been thinking of asking why this happened, but I know for a fact if I make a valid point I will be banned forever. THEY ARE SHUTTING DOWN ANY ARGUMENT.

Nominated by: Harry cunt and the Mrs off shit

And added to with a little twist by Two In The Stink

I’d like to second this nomination but with a slightly different bent!

This nom is still relevant to censorship in gaming and gaming forums/fora but the initial cause isn’t wokeness; it’s sensitivity to supposed “profanity”.

Let me explain and expand on my nomination.

I’ve been a member of Steam since about 2014 and have mostly played games such as Elder Scrolls and Total War games on the platform in an individualist manner due to my reclusive, borderline-misanthropic nature so I’ve never really had to interact with other human beings on Steam on account of the fact that I find other people to be largely irritating and cunty. (Us too – NA)

During lockdown I’ve become more gaming-orientated (of course) and have subsequently started posting on forums/fora for those games. As a result I’ve been exposed to all types of “humans” and as a result I’ve had some negative experiences so feel the need to post about it here.

I recently got into a blazing row in a Steam gaming thread (I was sober) with an arrogant boomer cunt who had the fucking audacity to accuse me of all sorts because I wasn’t a “craftsman”…… whatever the fuck that means! (I do actually respect non-hipster craftsmen, just as long as they’re not arrogant cunts about it).

In response to his rude, demeaning and condescending comments I said some pretty well thought out, witty and cutting comments but I also called him variations of “nasty little prick”, “horrible bloody bastard” and “spiteful fucking cunt”.

Even though he was initially incredibly rude and offensive to me (although he never used swear words), I never complained about it and I never complained to Steam about it.
Never the less, I had numerous posts aimed at him removed from the forum because they contain sentences like “f*****g c**t” (no, I’m not fucking joking about that).

So this cunting addendum is more about the lack of understanding of tone and context (especially as it pertains to the written language). It doesn’t matter WHAT you say – it matters HOW you say it (context).

I´ve been more or less stuck with my 90-year-old mother-in-law over the last year because of covid and don´t know how much longer I can sit opposite her at the dinner table and watch her eat.

She has the appetite of a lion but eats at the pace of a snail so while I have finished and am desperate to leave the table, she´s still noshing away, with one eye on what´s coming next. She loves meat and chicken and chews away at the bones and legs like Henry VIII. This is usually followed by a salad dripping in olive oil that runs down her wrinkled old chin.

I literally shudder at times and am constantly leaving the table under the pretext of fetching salt or clearing dishes away. My wife has noticed this and I suspect knows why and forces me to stay.

Things weren´t so bad when I had a bottle of wine to help me through the meal but I have given up drinking for Lent and water or a fizzy drink doesn´t help at all.
(Can you spot the tactical error he made? – NA)

Nominated by: Mr Polly

Change is a cunt.

In this case it is my local council who are being cunts by having a perfectly functional and fairly new, expensive system of recycling waste by combining the dark ages of only having one bin which is emptied weekly with a “eco deco” waste sorting factory which separates the muck from the recyclables.

Now they are soon to be introducing a system of several bins collected much less frequently, the types I have seen when I work away and get told to put stuff in specific bins to which I respond “what the fuck is a cardboard bin, are not all bins created equal?”.

While they are at it, they have announced they shall not be providing a bin for glass recycling and helpfully suggest you (I) take your glass to the nearest council recycling centre of which there are few and very hard to get to for tens of thousands of locals who don’t drive in this mostly rural area

I generate plenty of glass waste and I can take mine to wherever, but there is plenty who cannot so I predict a lot more broken glass on the street as a direct result of these lazy, money wasting cunts policies.

Nominated by: Cunt of all trades

Femi Oluwole is a British political activist and co-founder of the pro-European Union advocacy group and an absolute cunt.

My blood was boiling when he was on TV today claiming that
A) Brexit had no bearing on our vaccination rate being greater than the whole of the EU put together.
B) That our leaving actually resulted in the EU programme being chaotic eg. It 8s somehow OUR fault.
C) That all the teething troubles of import/export are “what YOU voted for.”

He repeated that last phrase again and again just in case WE didn’t get it.

He is clearly too thick to see that A and B are obviously mutually exclusive. And as for C he expects US to believe that anything good post Brexit is nothing to do with our leaving whilst any negative issues definitely are.

What a crazy mixed up cunt he is.

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss

Congratulations to J R Cuntley who correctly predicted Peter Lorimer would be the next person of note to pass on. Lorimer was a professional footballer. Noted for his powerful shots from distance, he made his name playing for Leeds United. He also represented Scotland at international level.

On to Dead Pool 206.You Know the Rules:

1) Pick 5 famous cunts you think will conk out next. It is first come first served. You can always be a cunt and steal other cunters’ nominations from previous pools.

2) Anyone who nominates the world’s oldest man or woman is a cunt and will be ignored.

3) It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.

4) If your pick has already been taken, tough titty. Pick someone else because we can’t be arsed to check.

So on your marks, ready….set…..go!