Fat Bastards [4]


We have all seen the ‘reality’ programmes featuring these ginormous tubs of lard sprawled out on their re-enforced beds, wanting the world to feel sorry for them.
Firemen having to demolish walls so that a team of medical staff with the aid of an industrial hoist can get them into a specially manufactured ambulance and off to hospital.
The ‘reality’ for each of these fat fuckers is that on one day in the past they woke up and were completely unable to get out of their beds.
They subsequently shat themselves.
Anyone with even the smallest amount of self respect would be absolutely mortified and would vow that they would lose weight so that they are never in such an embarrassing situation again.
But these disgusting cunts wallow in their own foulage until a helper turns up to scrape the shit out of their huge arse cheeks and clean them up the best that they can.
Said helper is probably then dispatched to the cake shop to fetch a few boxes of breakfast.
The complete lack of self respect is astonishing.
They didn’t get to that stage quickly, they could have dieted at any time but decided not to.
I have no sympathy with them and I have no sympathy with their helpers who continue to clean and feed them.
The good news is that these horribly obeses cunts die young.
The bad news is for the pall bearers at their funerals.

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

Ole Gunnar Solksjaer

Ole Gunnar Solksjaer is a cunt.

Loved him as a player and have always tried to give him the benefit of the doubt as Man United manager.

But enough is enough and a joke is a joke. While saying fuck all as the super league scandal unfolded, Ole eventually said he didn’t like the idea. But he has not uttered a single word to show his displeasure about the club’s parasitic owners. Asked how he could trust United co-chairman Joel Glazer again after his leading role in the ESL plans, Solskjaer insisted ‘Joel loves this club’.

Well, Solksjaer has proved beyond doubt that he is a Glazer stooge and an arselicking yes man. The real work has only just begun, and now is the perfect opportunity to voice our contempt regarding the Glazer scum and their bitch Woodward. And the manager and a genuine red hero says his mate ‘Joel’ loves United? Just fuck off, Ole. You have stabbed every true Stretford Ender in the back.

https://www.skysports.com/football/news/11667/12283931/ole-gunnar-solskjaer-interview-man-utd-boss-on-super-league-fiasco-and-his-man-management-secrets

Nominated by: Norman

NFTs? WTF!

What are NFTs?

Short version: they’re pointless bollocks. Non-fungible tokens are ‘digital art’ that people sell as unique and pretend that matters. Yes, it’s just a fucking .jpg, but a totally unique one that’s so unique it’s like owning the Mona Lisa.

But it’s a fucking .jpg. You own nothing physical. You could technically just screenshot the fucking thing and be in the same place.

People are actually buying these for a lot of money. People are idiots who clearly don’t remember the 2000s internet bubble.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-56371912

Nominated by: Lazybiscuits

Jennifer Pritzker

Tranny billionaire Jennifer (? see picture. Fuck me) Pritzker. Who is threatening to move HIS business out of Tennesse because of anti LBGTXNBBQRTDS legislation.

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/america-s-first-trans-billionaire-may-leave-tennessee-over-state-s-anti-trans-bills/ar-BB1fUMbO?ocid=msedgntp

And what is this oppressive hate legislation?

Tennesse currently has a slate of at least 15 anti-LGBTQ bills. The Republican governor Bill Lee has already signed one into law that bans trans youth from competing in school sports. Another bill seeks to ban LGBTQ+ content from school textbooks, and yet another aims to restrict hormone therapy for trans minors.

Yep, tranny youth banned from competitive sport. I wonder why?
Banning prevert propoganda from school books.
Stopping children being drugged and disfigured at the behest of weirdos.

These laws look sensible and necessary to me. If I was from Tennesse I would tell this creature to stick HIS business up HIS hairy arse.

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Line of Duty Goes Okey Wokey

Fellow cunters, I nominate the God-awful, Biased Bullshit Comintern produced television show ‘Line of Duty’ for a brutal cunting.

I start by admitting that, yes, at first, I was a fan of the first two series. However, once again, the woke joke crowd have infiltrated all that was good regarding this program. The lefty influence and corruption are there to see for all, but the blindly devoted ‘right on’, brainwashed MSM, Twattter and Facefuck converts and devotees.

Allow me to elaborate:

Almost all the top-level Police Officers are female, know it all cunts, who don’t hesitate to talk down to their male counterparts and colleagues. Almost all the male characters are portrayed as weak, easily led dolts with IQ scores on par with a vegetable. The truly malevolent, corrupt antagonists are white and male. The female ‘villains’ are shown as otherwise virtuous but being coerced into being corrupt by nasty men. As if only men can be truly EVIL!

Hastings is portrayed as a monomaniacal Gammon of a dinosaur. He and the other one, with the shit beard, are portrayed as dull-witted caricatures. The one that looks like an androgynous Furby toy, is nothing more than a strong female character stereotype of epic Mary Sue proportions.

The box ticking, disproportionate amount of BAME characters. You’d almost think the minorities were on par with the white population here in the UK. Our adverts are bad enough.
The repetitive overuse of that abbreviation ‘OCG’! God help you if you have a shot of vodka every time you hear that one mentioned.

But most egregious and BAME pandering of all was, shock horror, the most blatant and biased shoehorning in of a racially motivated murder, of an aspiring architect type. The victim went by the name of Lawrence Something (facepalm!). I can’t recall the surname because I was, understandably sick in my mouth. That’s right, they made the most obvious analogy to the murder of Stephen Lawrence. Similarly, in that turd of an episode, the BAME victim was killed by nasty, waycist whitey types, with the investigation botched on purpose, by the (of course! ) institutionally bigoted, corrupt, white policemen. They even went so far as to have a BAME policewoman, on her soapbox, lecturing her white male colleagues about it! Take that and bow your heads in shame, all of you guilty white, waycist viewers!

In conclusion, the entire sixth series has been an utter anti-male, woke utopian fantasy world. I mean we watch television for escapism, but this takes and boils the piss! Bloody offensive, social engineering, anti-British, mis-androgynous politics. Even more offensive because our TV license money paid for this excrement.

Nominated by: Monsieur Bagofcunts 

And in a similar vein by: Norman

To add to your excellent cunting, Monsieur. There is talk of new and ‘final’ series of Life On Mars. Arguably (with Ashes To Ashes) the last great pre-woke programme that the BBC made. I hope they don’t do it, because it will undoubtedly be a woke shitshow. Gene Hunt will be put in his place by a mouthy and ‘superior’ BAME tart. Sam Tyler will end up outed as a poofter.

Nasty white men will be picking on peacefuls and blambos (see the now woke but previously great Endeavour). And the lovely Alex Drake will become a man hating psychotic cunt who only likes black tadgers. Oh, and Jim Keats will be a trannie. Rest assured, it will be ruined. A shame, because it was great. As my grandad used to say ‘Leave well enough alone, lad!’