After much deliberation, alcohol consumption and ultimately an arm wrestling competition, the Admin Team decided upon this year’s Cunter of the Year:

Congratulations Miserable northern cunt.

It might be grim ‘oop North’, but we’re sure this award will bring you fame, fortune, good health, longevity and a brand new artisan country cream gate, signed by Banksy.

Or it may not. We’ll see.

THANK YOU to all the cunters who have contributed to the site this year. We hope you’ve enjoyed the laughs and the angst at the number of absolute cunts out there. Keep nominating. Keep smiling. And remember, we’re all in this together.

Merry Christmas.

– The Admin Team.

Christmas gift-hunting is a cunt, isn’t it.

Fear not compatriots, here is a splendid idea for the person who has everything: a timepiece containing magic spells. Ladies and Gentlecunts of IAC, I give you…The Prayer Clock.

https://www.theprayerclock.com/

It gives its incantations and superstitious warnings on the hour, every hour. Furthermore, it’s voiced by James Earl Jones. That’s right, the Sith himself. It’s the Gospel according to Darth Vader.

Not interested? Your lack of faith is disturbing. Alternatively you could purchase the audiobook of the Buy-Bull read by Jones himself. I wonder whether Grand Moff Tarquin makes an appearance.

Jesus, would you look at the time!

He was Lord and wanted his son to join him on the Dark Side to conquer the universe. Call forth the Mos Eisley disciples – Greedo, Walrus Man, Hammerhead, and Snaggletooth. No, these aren’t the Apostles you’re looking for. The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.

Nominated by : Captain Magnanimous

Happy Christmas, Cunters! – The Admin Team

We wish all the cunters a very merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

– The Admin Team.

Admin, a Yuletide cunting with all the trimmings please for festive ‘round robin’ letters.

It’s the time of year when, shoehorned into a Christmas Card is the obligatory letter from a neighbour or oft forgotten relative who having espoused modern technology such as facefuck or what’s crap or even an email has decided to pen a ditty to one and all…..

Basically boasting about what a year they’ve had, how well the kids have done at school, how much they contributed to charity or how many times they sat at the captains table during a cruise in Scandinavia, oh and the new Tesla is such a boon, and I’ve had another promotion at work….. and the new Ukrainian lodgers are such luvvy people…..

Personally, if I’ve not bothered to speak to neighbours or contact long lost relatives all year ( and I don’t cos I’m a cunt) then the idea of receiving one of these boastful, look at me missives at Christmas indicates I’m in the right and the sender is a cunt of truly epic proportions.

I received one early this week, from a neighbour, it’s come in handy to wipe my arse with.

Ho ho bloody ho.

Nominated by: LeonardoDiCunty

And then there’s this from Ron Knee

Christmas Cards

Yes it’s that time again; time for the annual shenanigans involving the sending and receiving of Christmas cards.

I refuse to have anything to do with it, but the wife religiously digs out the list of people she’s sending them to, then spends hours of her time choosing and writing the ‘right’ card for the ‘right’ person.

‘Who do you keep bothering with that?’ I say every time. ‘We haven’t seen some of ’em in donkey’s. Don’t want to either’. ‘It’s a way of staying in touch’ she responds, before adding the inevitable ‘miserable old bastard!’.

I just don’t get it. We usually get about seventy or so of the fuckers, which are spread about the house gathering dust until the inevitable moment arrives when they’re chucked in the bin. Mercifully, we’ve only received about thirty this year, presumably due to a combination of people economising, and the bolshy antics of the Royal Mail.

Fucking good riddance I say. What a waste of time and money. Bah humbug!

Compliments of the season to Cunters everywhere!

Jezzus H Christ on a bike, spare me from the endless round of Christmas begging. It’s bloody everywhere – on the streets, in the shops, in the post but most of all on the idiot box.

“Just give £10 to help a scrounging lazy good for nothing waster at Christmas.” Fuck. ’em. Let them eat cake. No fucker ever helped me when when I was hard up.

The other day some chuggers cunt from Help the Aged or what ever they call themselves these days came knocking on my door. I pointed at my white hair and said” Wonderful to see you. How much have you come to give me?” He went away scratching his head.

The other night I kept a tally of all the ads on Telly begging for Money. It reached – and I kid you not – £120.06. It was the one asking for just give £19.06 that got me. How very precise!

So here’s my message for all the cheritees who want my dosh this Christmas. There’s a cost of living crisis going on in case you hadn’t noticed so stop wheeling out all those crippled children, old people, homeless fuckers, disabled donkeys, mistreated dogs and all the rest of it and just fuck the fuck off…

Oh – and it looks like band aid are heading for yet another Christmas cringing number one, so here’s my version by Bland Aid that the humourless fuckers have branded unwoke and racist.

YouTube Link

Well, at least if I’m cancelled, they won’t be asking me for money…

Nominated by: Dioclese