James Earl Jones


Christmas gift-hunting is a cunt, isn’t it.

Fear not compatriots, here is a splendid idea for the person who has everything: a timepiece containing magic spells. Ladies and Gentlecunts of IAC, I give you…The Prayer Clock.

https://www.theprayerclock.com/

It gives its incantations and superstitious warnings on the hour, every hour. Furthermore, it’s voiced by James Earl Jones. That’s right, the Sith himself. It’s the Gospel according to Darth Vader.

Not interested? Your lack of faith is disturbing. Alternatively you could purchase the audiobook of the Buy-Bull read by Jones himself. I wonder whether Grand Moff Tarquin makes an appearance.

Jesus, would you look at the time!

He was Lord and wanted his son to join him on the Dark Side to conquer the universe. Call forth the Mos Eisley disciples – Greedo, Walrus Man, Hammerhead, and Snaggletooth. No, these aren’t the Apostles you’re looking for. The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.

Nominated by : Captain Magnanimous

 

Happy Christmas, Cunters! – The Admin Team

74 thoughts on “James Earl Jones

  1. Yuletide greetings fellow cunters.

    The voice of God may well be available on your wall every hour but it’ll never replace all the laughs I get from this site every day…

    Cheers all!

  2. Happy Christmas to all cunters, I’m sure you are all currently in church.

    A thanks to the Admin Team for their hard work when not daytime drinking and watching dw@rf porn, keep the site running. Much appreciated.

    Day Admin’s nurse confiscated all his dw@rf porn. He got so agitated and disruptive we had to give it back. I think she need to change his meds, but I don’t like to interfere. – NA.

  3. Merry Christmas to everyone, make the most of it, if you like this sort of thing.
    The day is not far off where we’ll not be allowed to celebrate the birth of Jesus, the dirty stinking bastards who follow cuntslam will see to that. Thankfully I’ll be dead.
    I want to fuck the ghost of Christmas past.

  4. I’d give a kidney (not that’d it be any good) for a Prince Philip clock with a classic unwoke quote of his every hour. Fuck I miss the cunt.
    Presem Yasur!

  5. Merry Christmas

    Time to relax and prepare for another year of cunts needing a serious cunting.

    Let no cunt go uncunted!

  6. Welll, a relative of mine got a Del Boy alarm clock years ago. I got driven mad by ‘Wake ap, you dipstick!’ every fucking morning. So, a bit of sabotage was in order and I put it out of action.

    Earl Jones and that lad who plays Young Vader were the only decent ones in that recent Obi Wan Disney dog dirt.

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