Jezzus H Christ on a bike, spare me from the endless round of Christmas begging. It’s bloody everywhere – on the streets, in the shops, in the post but most of all on the idiot box.
“Just give £10 to help a scrounging lazy good for nothing waster at Christmas.” Fuck. ’em. Let them eat cake. No fucker ever helped me when when I was hard up.
The other day some chuggers cunt from Help the Aged or what ever they call themselves these days came knocking on my door. I pointed at my white hair and said” Wonderful to see you. How much have you come to give me?” He went away scratching his head.
The other night I kept a tally of all the ads on Telly begging for Money. It reached – and I kid you not – £120.06. It was the one asking for just give £19.06 that got me. How very precise!
So here’s my message for all the cheritees who want my dosh this Christmas. There’s a cost of living crisis going on in case you hadn’t noticed so stop wheeling out all those crippled children, old people, homeless fuckers, disabled donkeys, mistreated dogs and all the rest of it and just fuck the fuck off…
Oh – and it looks like band aid are heading for yet another Christmas cringing number one, so here’s my version by Bland Aid that the humourless fuckers have branded unwoke and racist.
Well, at least if I’m cancelled, they won’t be asking me for money…
Nominated by: Dioclese
There’s this old trout appears on the PDSA begging ad, tottering in leading an elderly dog that can hardly stand. Hopefully, the vet did the kindest thing and euthanized them both.
This same old trout also appears in the Sally Army ads, gazing in delight into a shoe box covered in Christmas wrapping paper. God knows what’s in the box to make her smile like that! I reckon it’s nipple clamps, a gimp mask and butt plugs.
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And a 10″ vibrator
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MSF really piss me off. You really need to save the new born only to die of starvation……
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Apparently they will go blind first due to their eyelashes turning in, and they will have a cleft lip……THEN die of starvation or drinking shitty water
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I live in an area where owners of animals are so irresponsible some adoption agencies ship their animals elsewhere and refuse to adopt to people here.
We’ve had to rescue several ourselves because the fucking Meskins seem to be genetically predisposed to want animals but can’t t care for them responsibly. Anyway when I’m at Pets Mart buying food they ask if I want to donate to a rescue shelter. I always ask how I can get on that list. The green haired nose ring cunts look at me bewildered.
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Capturing the image of a poverty stricken black child, there’s always flies on its face. Someone must be having a shit.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcZIkxryBeA
This’ll cheer you all up. It’s that cunt Stewart, looking to raid our wallets at warp factor ten.
Fuck off, you slap-headed luvvy cunt.
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Make it so number Ron!
(See what I did there.)
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As we see in London the Dark Quays stab and murder each other anyway, without any Honky intervention.
The many African nations killing other African nations is just a big extension of that. Why not make a few quid out of it?
Regarding Ethiopia, I’d use it as a test range for Nuclear, Biological and Chemical weapons (and I’d make sure Bob Geldoff, Bono and all the other feed the world virtue signalling tossers were visiting as the first Nuke falls)
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Isn’t Geldof playing the climate change card these days?………jetting around the world making big dosh at these conferences? You can hook the climate change bollocks up to starving Africans and you’ve doubled your money.
Lovely jubbly.
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That hideous cunt Miriam Gargoyle seems to be spreading her stinking Lezzer flange about to all and sundry to the highest price. On an equal footing with that shitehouse Tony Robinson of virtue signalling Oxbridge smugness. And, bugger me! Marcus Brigstocke cropped up on a zero basement TV episode of The Chase…. potato headed arsehole. Wish an early death or leprosy on the cunt.
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