Crows

 
Are cunts.

Today, while on the dialysis machine, I witnesssed two massive crows attack a lone pretty small black headed gull and they pecked it to the death.

It happened in the garden outside the ward and the crows then plucked the gull’s carcass and then ate it. It was fucking horrible.

No link obviously, but after seeing that I had to cunt the evil bullying cannibalistic bastards.

Vice

Nominated by Norman

Nyctophobia


Did you know 11per cent of adults are scared of the dark in the US?

True.
And a jaw dropping 64per cent of adults in the UK say that they are scared of the dark.

Disgraceful!!

Our ancestors were scared of the dark.
With every reason,
Large predators, lions ,tigers and bears,oh my!
Other raiding tribes etc.

But for someone nowadays it’s pathetic.

I used to sometimes take off as a lad and camp in the woods, loved it!
Felt like Tarzan ?
But then I like my own company, nature, and not being around noisy cunts.

I like the dark,
It keeps kids in,
Old fuckers in,
And people don’t notice you fondling your balls.

For any adult scared of the dark you need fuckin horsewhipping,
Your a absolute disgrace and around mardarse.

I hope the monsters under your bed eat your face off.

Mirror Link.

Nominated by : Miserable northern cunt

Tom Daley [5]


Splashdown for our favourite knitting diver, Mr. Daley and his husband, who have added a second son to their bijou residence:

Daily Fail Link.

It’s a boy: but look at the name Phoenix ROSE

Is this an attempt to find the next Eddie Izzard or did Tom just wake up one day and say to hubby “You haven’t made a film lately, duckie, and I am not getting arselicking publicity from the BBC and likes on WankTube. Let’s hear the patter of tiny feet”.

Poor little Phoenix Rose (who will no doubt be sold off to Hello or one of the other “celeb mags”. for photo-ops) If Tom and Dustin wanted the patter of tiny feet they should have got a Chihuahua.

Nominated by : W.C. Boggs

And a second coming (see what I did there? – NA) provided by Miles Plastic:

Tom Daley and ‘Family’

I am trying to move against my aversion to all things Gay. The Pope is softening, using kinder language about it.

In the Catechism it describes homosexual relations as ‘intrinsically disordered’. There are moves to get rid of it I have been reading.

It was something the Pope said changed my mind. Talking about civil marriage I think he said ‘we don’t want anyone to be aone’.
I’ve lived alone and it was horrible.

I am still uncomfortable watching say that Gay couple on Gogglebox but it isn’t as acute as before.

So here I am working away at this within myself. Then I come across this-

Sly News Link.

It’s just set me back. You know I think the picture of them is more ‘offensive’ than some weird looking person on a Gay Pride March.

It’s the ‘adding to my family’ shit I dont like. As though it’s normal.

I don’t know.

I will just have to accept it in the ‘abstract’.

The world has changed so fundamentally from what I thought was normal.

Lewis Capaldi (2)

 
is a cunt.

This talent-free tuneless fat cunt is overtaking Ed Sheercunt as the biggest cunt in popular music.

Now, Capaldi does songs that are pretty much the same as those by Sheercunt. Dull, insipid, beige, soulless by numbers love songs that are badly written. But Capaldi also has a very shit singing voice. The useless fat cunt shouts his choruses and, his voice is so bad, you can hear it straining as he does it.

He also sings/shouts in just one key and the ends of his words are always flat. The chorus on his latest dirge ‘Forget Me’ is excruciating. The cunt has a voice that would peel paint. And he also looks like an absolute twat in the video. As if those two birds in the video would go near him. His success is very disturbing. When did pop stars become ugly fat cunts who can’t sing?

Youtube

Nominated by Norman.

Middle Class Families and Their Offspring

I thought I’d visit my local yesterday to make the most of the nice weather and have a couple of ciders in the sun. Unfortunately though my enjoyment of this simple pleasure was spoilt by the shower of complete cunt monkeys who arrived shortly after me sat down at the next table to mine.

4 generations of chinless middle class wankers, including the latest addition to the inbred clan, a new born baby probably no more then a month old. Now this little ameoba was obviously the most loved, precious, amazing, miracle that had ever graced the planet and by fuck they wanted everyone to know!

Cue the whole fucking family spending the next 15-20 mins (believe me it felt a damn site longer) loudly singing nursery rhymes to the little shit whilst clapping along and sporting the same wide eyed shit eating grins that you’re more attuned to seeing on the faces of brainwashed cultists.

Plus the kids parents were exactly what you’d expect, a pair of public school educated ponces in their mid 20’s with names like Toby and fluer or something equally pretentious. The dad was a complete wetter who looked like he still called his parents mummy and daddy, and I don’t know what amazed me more, the fact that he’d had it in him to squirt his insipid watery jizz into the arid grumble of the stick insect sat opposite him, or that generations of family inbreeding hadn’t produced a fetus with 9 eyes and a wattle.

All the while this was going on the child just did what newborn babys do, stared vacanantly into space whilst filling it’s nappy with yet another load of Waitrose organic baby food shit.

Finished your GnT’s and Prosecco? Good, now get back in your Rangerover Discovery Sport and fuck off back to the home counties you bunch of self absorbed, posturing cunts

Nominated by : Cuntasurus Rex