Fat bottomed girls

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How is it that fat, fuckin’ pig ugly women get pregnant so regularly?

My drive to work takes me past two schools. Both of which are besieged by buggy trundling, porcine, tattoo covered tubs of lard with a herd of tubby kids in tow. Whoever it is that’s insemenating these bulbous wobble-bots needs a damn good cunting.

And another thing. How is it when you’ve packed a bird in she fuckin’ slims down to become a bed snake and looks so gorgeous you take her back…Then she gets bloated again…

Cunts!

Nominated by: Fleaboy

Juries

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Juries are cunts, as evidenced today by the failure to convict Rebekah Brooks, her husband Charlie, her PA Cheryl Carter and the News International Head of Security Mark Hanna.

Only a shit-for-brains cunt would fall for the idea that a national tabloid editor would never ask how stories were sourced or substantiated. Brooks told the court she was “more concerned with budgets” – but the slight hole in that defence is her failure to ask why they were paying arch-hacker Glenn Mulcaire over a hundred grand a year. GUILTY AS FUCK.

Charlie Brooks claimed he had hidden only his porn collection and a laptop containing a draft of his novel from the police. If this were really the case, how come the task of retrieving it fell to News International’s Head of Security? GUILTY AS FUCK.

When RB was arrested, Cheryl Carter took away storage cartons marked “Rebekah Brooks Notebooks” from the NI Storage Facility. She insists they had been incorrectly labelled and instead contained cuttings she, Carter, had written about health, beauty and lifetyle and which were vitally important to her own career. So vitally important in fact that she was never able to produce them, didn’t know where they were, and Plod couldn’t find them either. GUILTY AS FUCK.

And not only are juries cunts, but Plod has once again shown himself to be a massively inept, thoroughly corrupt cunt of the highest order: if Plod hadn’t continually tipped of the News of the World about the progress of the hacking investigation for so many years, if Plod hadn’t blunderd through it with his head up his arsehole taking bungs left right and centre, then Murdoch’s henchmen wouldn’t have had so much time to destroy evidence that would have seen this crew of cunts banged up. 24 carat cunts one and all.

Just imagine Murdoch’s smugness today. Tens of millions spent on legal teams for most of the defendants, the luxury of advance warning of the police investigation’s progress and months to destroy “millions of emails” (in Plod’s estimation), dozens of BlackBerrys and iPads, and plenty of other evidence too. The sooner that geriatric Antipodean scum snuffs it, the better.

Still, at least Andy Coulson will be joining his old pal Max Clifford on B Wing.

Nominated by: Fred West

Rolf Harris [3]

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This an emergency cunting of Rolf Harris following his conviction on TWELVE counts of kiddy-fiddling.

We all know Harris did “Two Little Boys” in the 1960′s, but now it transpires the cunt also did two little girls in the 1970′s…

Not only a lying nonce, but a fucking Australian to boot. Behead the cunt immediately.

Nominated by : Fred West

Now we all know what his ‘extra leg (diddle diddle diddle dum)’ was… And I dread to think what he wanted to tie a kangaroo down (sport) for….

I always wondered why he made those funny panting noises he was so famous for… Dirty old Aussie cunt!

Nominated by : Norman Whiteside

Now we know what he made his didgerie do…

Nominated by : Dioclese

Jimmy Savile [2]

Pope John Paul II - St. George's Roman Catholic Cathedral, Southwark

Jimmy Savile – beyond a cunt!

Have to admit a grudging admiration for some of the cuntitude demonstated on this august blog but even I have me limits. The allegation has emerged from the Savile Reports that our Jimmy would slip into the mortuary, hook his old cock out and then Jim Would Fix It up the fanny of some old dead slapper or a little kiddie. And he was not alone.

Bugger me (or not if you are orf the Savile tendency), I may be an old aristo and a trifle laissez faire in me sexual proclivities, but that is hogging it rather. It is alleged that Savile boasted that the stones in his rings were made from the glass eyes of his “friends” in the mortuary. Touching little memento or the kind of thing one heard about Nazi perves in the Death Camps or various assorted psychos principally in the good old US of A?

Forced to pose the question “when is a cunt a cunt” and when do they get promoted to the super league. Savile takes the concept into a whole new realm of degeneration. Calling Savile a cunt gives cunts a bad name.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Andy Murray [8]

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I know he has been cunted many times, and also recently – BUT – there cannot be enough times for this one and Its going in advance :-

Andy Murray Crying at Wimbledon

Now at this stage we don’t know if its because the cunt loses, or wins. To be honest it dosen’t matter he is going to regardless. The fact the cunt is on every screen and newspaper already is enough.

Its time to take this cunt, and his mum, girlfriend as well for hanging around the cunt always wanting to know when he will propose on camera – and pack the cunts to Syria for target practice. Take all the cunts from the BBC covering it as well.

Nominated by: King Cunt