An Open Letter To Cycling Cunts

Dear Fuckwits,
In case the penny hasn’t dropped yet,here’s why EVERYBODY despises you;

You ride around on your pathetic toys, dressed in your faggot outfits, in the mistaken belief that you are somehow “saving the planet” in fact all you do is add significantly to the sum of human misery.
You continually complain about road safety every time some cunt on a bike gets crushed under the wheels of an H.G.V. (I laugh my cock off every time!) In fact, if you just followed the accepted rules of the road like normal people, we would all be safer – you ignore traffic lights, one-way road signs, other road users, pedestrians and simple common sense.

You don’t have to pay road tax, pay insurance or even pass a test.
You get very sweaty and smelly and normally sport cunt beards.
It’s a child’s toy, you fucking moronic cunts, not a fucking sport.
You’re too fucking mean to buy a car.

It’s in the interest of your own safety to keep off the roads and pavements before the Great Backlash sees you all beaten to a bloody pulp, Cunts !

Nominated by: little lord cuntleroy

I remember being in the car with my dad in 1976…. I nearly burnt my hand off just by touching the dashboard… But it was a great time (although Bobby Stokes is still offside!)…

Paul McCartney is being a bit of a cunt… In the latest Esquire magazine (why don’t they put birds on the cover any more?) he goes on about how people went on about how John Lennon was the important one in The Beatles after his murder… That’s what happens to cultural figures when they die (even Michael Jackson): people eulogise and go overboard… The evaluation of The Beatlles as a unit has changed and balanced out since 1980…. Yet he still goes on about it….

Then there’s him (still) yacking on about changing the songwriting credits to Lennon & McCartney songs…. What does it matter? Keith Richards solely wrote ‘Ruby Tuesday’, yet Keef doesn’t whine on saying it should just say ‘Richards’ or even ‘Richards/Jagger’… The Glimmer Twins agreed a two way split on their songs as Jagger/Richards and they’ve stuck to it… Macca moans about John being credited for ‘Yesterday’, but I still don’t see him saying ‘And I Love Her’ was a ‘McCartney/Harrison’ song (George came up with the famous acoustic guitar riff) or ‘Eleanor Rigby’ as ‘McCartney/Starkey’ (Richie thought up the ‘Father McKenzie’ verse)…. A tad hypocritical, I’d say….

Nominated by: Norman

I think its about time for a special counting of those city dwelling cunts who don’t understand the principle of a controlled junction, or Traffic Lights for all the mouth breathers out there.

The three lights all have meaning as can be referenced in the Highway Code, sections 174, 175, and 176 specifically, and the lines painted on the road all mean something too. All drivers know these rules because you were tested on it before your licence was issued, so either you have a mental problem and should not be driving, or you are a dangerous cunt and should not be driving. Unless of course you are a Pakistani taxi driver; you probably got your licence by collecting tokens from Southern Fried Chicken joints so this cunting does not apply to you, you are already a set of weapons grade, desert bandit cunts (when you are not gang raping young, vulnerable children).

I am unfortunate enough to be living in the Socialist Republic of South Yorkshire, fuckers are a bit thick here, either that or they are militant lefty cunts, who think the traffic light system is scheme devised by Tory scum to keep them down, and under no circumstance will some tory try and tell them when and where to stop. As the stop light is Red, these knuckle dragging turd gurglers also assume that as its the colour of their beloved Labour Party therefore they are allowed to proceed as they were, regardless of whomever might have had the down right indignation to try and cross the junction on the green light.

This specific cock smoker in a twat panzer today proceeded to give me the finger for turning right in front him after the light had been red for at least 5 seconds because my filter was already green, before he continued on through the red light. Maybe he gave me the finger because he was signalling that this was what his wife is likely getting from the golf pro whilst he was flogging his arse in middle management trying to appear affluent to the other carbon copy, deeply affected, suburban lackwits. He was clearly an idiot, because the golf pro was more likely fisting his tunnel cunt wife. Thats 5 fingers, not 1. Or 4 and a thumb if you want to be pedantic.

Red means STOP, you teutonic fucking neanderthal cunts. And if it happens again this week, I might have to get all Kenny Noye on these fuckers.

Nominated by: The Captain

Dioclese has stated many times that our harmless bit orf fun can prove to be profoundly educational and I trust that this indeed is one such occasion.

The Ekranoplan was one orf those Cold War Russki nightmares that belongs in a James Bond filum but none the less existed. Recall hearing about it whilst doing a spot orf liaison work in East Berlin. Apparently flew about ten feet above the water and carried enough missiles to sink a battleship. Never really took orf (if you’ll excuse the pun) because it was neither fish nor foul – not really an aircraft and not exactly a ship. Got into conversation with some spectacularly sozzled Russkies who were somehow attached to the project. They were piss scared of ever going up in the thing and I can see why. Russki military technology has always posed more orf a threat to the poor commie cunts that have to operate it than to the intended victims.

Lots more about it here on a website that Fred West would appreciate!

Noninated by: Sir Limply Stoke