If I ran the dealerships over here, it would go something like this:

Pickup Customer: Ah wowna pik erp trerk.
Dealer: Yes sir and do you live or work on a farm or ranch?
Pickup Customer: Nope. Ah jerst wowna pik erp trerk.
Dealer: I see. I’m struggling to understand your need for such a vehicle. Do you intend for this to be your ‘everyday’ vehicle?
Pickup Customer: Yerp.
Dealer: Very well then. Please follow me over to our frontal lobotomy department where we can make the necessary arrangements.

I’m telling you, these 2 ton oversized Tonka toys sit on your arse in rain, sleet, ice and snow. They cut in front of you for no reason when there’s miles of empty road behind you. They never use indicators and if you should ever honk the horn at them for doing something stupid and/or dangerous, well then you’re treated to a tirade of abuse and hand gestures like it’s YOU that’s done something wrong! The ignorant trash which drives these bloody things need rounding up, have the driving manual (Highway Code) tattooed onto their beer bellys, then kicked repeatedly in the groin area, then set on fire, then…..you get the general idea.

Nominated by: Imitation Yank

As most of you know, I really don’t like Muslims. I don’t trust the fuckers. They have no respect for anything or anyone that isn’t involved with Islam. The cunts that live in the UK not only have NO intention of integrating into the wider community, they have NO loyalty to the UK. And they expect US to adapt to THEIR “culture”, instead of vice versa. They also have no respect for the supremacy of British law in the UK, demanding, and being allowed, Sharia law. They are so corrupt and dishonest that it’s almost genetic. They’re less trustworthy than a starving lioness babysitting in a crèche.

On top of that, a disproportionate number of Muslim males seem to be obsessed with having sex with underage, non-Muslim girls. Especially when they have to force the girls into sex. They are completely intolerant of other faiths, with a particular contempt for atheists. They despise gays, to the point that they believe they should be murdered. They see women as little more than slaves, with one bunch of medieval cunts in Blackburn demanding that women be banned from travelling more than 48 miles from their house without a chaperone. Ignorant, bearded cocksuckers! And when you consider that some of their thick as shit women insist on doing their best impression of a bin bag when they go out, you’d be forgiven for thinking you were in Saudi (It’s a shithole by the way).

I don’t give a fuck what people think of me over this. I’m not racist, because Islam is not a race, it’s made up of mental health cases of all races. I’m not an Islamophobe, because I don’t have an irrational fear of Islam or Muslims. I just don’t like the fuckers. I’ve spent time in Muslim countries and I’ve seen true Islam. It’s most certainly not the “Religion of peace” that soppy left wing cunts keep trying to convince us it is. The thing is, if it actually WAS a religion of peace, we wouldn’t need to be constantly told that it was. Muslims, and their religion, are not suitable for life in the Western world.

Come to think of it, they’re not really suitable for life in the MODERN world.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

Two more of these morons have been hacked to death in Bangladesh while trying to force their weird agenda on a people that not only consider homosexuality deeply immoral, but completely fucking illegal. You’d think these mincing fuckwits would understand by now that most of the world prefers men to marry women and leave it at that, but no, they have to march in and demand equality, because this is “their right”.

Turned out fucking well for you two didn’t it? Cunts.

Nominated by: Kiwi Cunt

Very cleverly, click on the three buttons – yes it arrived on time, yes it met my expectations, yes they were courteous and when I contacted them. Was there a button to click for “Efficient?” Nah, like fuck. So I clicked send… “your comment is too brief, you have to fill in the box below”…

“My dear Fuckwits, have already replied by pressing above buttons. Fuck off…Fuck Off…Fuck OFF”

Nominated by: HBelinda Hubbard

I used to be a big Amazon fan. Would buy my stuff on there by default pretty much. However, things changed when they announced they were going to build some kind of warehouse facility in my state. Allow me to explain.

In Yankland, each state collects sales tax which is added to the price of stuff you buy. It’s the Yank equivalent of VAT. However, if the store you buy from is an online store and there’s no physical presence in the state, there is no sales tax! Instant price advantage. Then Amazon announced they’re to build a facility in my state and by just announcing it, state law says Amazon have to add sales tax to everything bought by people from my state.

So, Amazon makes a business decision for the betterment of their company without consulting me in any way and by so doing, everything I buy from them instantly goes up by 8%. Lovely. I complained bitterly, but Amazon claim they’re still able to sell at discounted prices due to volume deals with suppliers. Bullshit. I priced out several items from another online store and the identical items from Amazon were more expensive. Not by much, but it was more expensive.

So Amazon can go fuck themselves unless they re-introduce an 8% discount on my orders. Which they won’t because they’re cunts.

Nominated by: Immitation Yank