What the fuck is it with all these old cunts offing themselves? Jayzus, Joseph and Mary. I had to sledge back a cup of Suicide News after Kate Spade and now that canny cunt and restaurateur Bourdain is gone. Proof that you never get too old to feel around for a noose.

But what the Fuck? You’re, old rich and successful and that is reason enough to bite the cyanide? Fucking pricks these days have no stamina. Everything and nothing. It started with Robin Williams and now it’s a fucking trend. Every time I drive through the Robin Williams tunnel I have to worry I’ve got early onset dementia. Lets not build a monument to every cunt that hangs themselves, even if they’re a fucking funny cunt.

I’ve had to deal with a stroke that paralysed me at the age of 31. Fought my fucking way back, largely due to training as a model and a journalist and I’m not going to boohoo #metoo, Fought Addiction, (Haw, Haw, it’s never addiction if you’re not drinking alone) and generally steppin’ on sticky shit as I pass through the house with five kids on soda and do I want to open throat the pill bottle? No.

So what is going through these cunt’s heads? They’re leaving teenagers to flail around and carry deep-seated trauma throughout their lives instead of manning the fuck up and dealing with the life changes that accompany getting older. Cunts.

Nominated by CallAngel

(I apologise the Admins if this is overly short but my spleen is about to rupture over the shit below and black bile is a cunt to get out of a keyboard.)

In an effort to be more inclusive and diverse, Google have removed the eggs from a salad emoji to make it a more “inclusive vegan salad”.

I shit you not – click here

The world has gone fucking nuts!!!

Nominated by Thirkleby Spunktrumpet

The US of Fucking A is a complete and utter Cunt of a Cuntry.

They play shit sports like Baseball and Gridiron that no other cunt gives a fuck about and the Winners are crowned World Champs,they took the fine game of Football and turned it into 100 odd fat Yankee cunts smashing into each other whilst screaming” touchdown!”

They are the fattest Cunts on the planet,even their cops look like hippos,and thats just the females. They got a place called Hollywood where thousands of Cunts remake the same film 100 times a year with the USA winning every war in history including defeating the Romans and other battles fought hundreds of years before the US cunts were even around.

They got another place called Sillycunt Valley where ugly,deformed little cunts with 2 inch dicks spend all day inventing shite like self driving cars so that their fellow lazy obese Yankee Cunts can ride around 24/7 stuffing hamburgers and pizzas and cokes down their fat faces.

The USA is a complete and utter CUNT!

Nominated by Thomas

After a few days of warm weather the naysayers and doom mongers are beginning to mention hose pipe bans and restrictions, such as taking a shower rather than a bath…

Fuck me, it’s good ole Blighty, it rains for 10 months of the year and how often do we get to hear about floods in some place or other. So where has all that water gone I ask? We should be the Saudi Arabia of H2O, it should be our biggest export for cryin out load.

Mmmm, now fat cat water company bosses and shareholders pocketing the profits and not investing in the network? Too many people, approx 70 million on a small island design for about 35mil?

I despair. Hose pipe bans, stick em up yer arse.

Nominated by LeonardoDiCunty

It’s time we all called out this scam for a scialytic cunting ( fucking good word that).

I’ve just finished watching some bullshit artist telling me that I have a chance to invest in real estate here in Vancouver for as little as a dollar.

All I have to do is convert my dollar into a cryptotoken?? and then I’ll be registered in the blockchain ( whatever the fuck that is ) as owning 1/1,1,608,000th part of the fucking house across the street ( here’s the website by the way…. https://imbyx.com/ )
What a masterpiece of salesmanship!

I don’t know what a cryptotoken is and neither does anyone in the whole world know what one is, or what one is worth.Not only that but I don’t know what rights my share will get me.

Maybe I’ll let my self driving car take me down to their digital office and find out what the fuck’s going on.

Nominated by Paul Ya Plonker