Category Archives: cunt

Morris Dancers

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Morris dancers.

It’s Most probably been done before but Morris dancers I hate with a passion. What do they think they look like jumping up and down tapping sticks the cunts. I was late getting somewhere so took a shortcut through a little village with one pub and what happens , they shut the road for 10 minutes so these cunts could show how good they was, if it wasn’t for the fact dried blood is hard to get of your motor when it’s dry I would have done the cunts, oh calm down.

Nominated by The vid

Ed Sheeran tickets (who wants them anyway?)

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Ed Sheeran. Not because he is a ginger minger or even a ginger moaner and not because all his songs are repetitive and sound much the same. No, I nominate this little guitar strumming mumbler because he has stitched up ten thousand of his fans by invalidating their tickets. Now I thought it is up to the individual how much they are willing to pay for a ticket to watch him perform, but no little Ed thinks differently, so if you bought a ticket through a different agency than Ed’s official one you cannot watch him play even though your ticket is genuine. That is unless you buy another ticket at the gig and of course, many of these ten thousand did not have the funds to do that and as such were these fans were left very upset

If he is worried about other ticket sites selling his tickets then all you have to do is limit the amount you can buy to four tickets at a time, a simple piece of software will easily achieve this and stop blocks of tickets being sold. Do Not Punish your fans who have made you by their loyalty super rich.

I can only think that you are trying to out cunt Bono and that takes some doing but it appears you have managed it.

Nominated by iamnot

 

The Brexit negotiations

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What a pile of cunt.
We have unelected EU officials on one side capitalising on our weakness and being awkward at every turn. The Irish border is critical. Security a major issue. The EU global positioning system. Tariffs. EU citizens rights. Bollocks. All of this can be sorted with goodwill on both sides. Failure to agree hits them more than us.
Aiding and abetting the Euro cunts are an army of Whitehall civil servants. Remoaners to a man. Pointing out how disastrous every thing will be if we leave.
Add in the cunts at the Bank of England, the Treasury and the Lords you have the full picture.
Then, up pop discredited reptiles – Blair, Mandleson, Branson, Clark and so on who get airtime out of all proportion to their worth.
Blair a devious greedy unprincipled liar.
Mandleson whose honesty is open to serious doubt. (I have toned that down)
Branson who leeches off the state while a tax exile taking every opportunity to show his grinning hippy face.
Clark, a typical southern smug cunt.
And many more.
Some fucker needs to stand up and walk away. Fuck EU. Let the actual elected EU politicians weigh up their losses, which will be far greater than ours. Then we can negotiate.
Cunts one and all.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Estate agents

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Estate Agents are cunts, aren’t they.

(riiinng)

Mr. Dickhead: “Hello, Cunts & Co, Gavin speaking, how may I help you?”

Captain Mags: “Hello, I’d like to sell my flat. How much do you charge?”

Mr. Dickhead: “Hello sir, 1.5%, plus VAT. Can I have your details, phone number, e-mail, and mobile so we can continually bombard you with houses far too expensive for you and miles out of the area?”

Captain Mags: “1.5% is a bit high. What do I receive for that?”

Mr. Dickhead: “We spend almost five minutes showing people around your flat. We also spend three minutes putting your details on-line. Furthermore, we spend an additional minute putting your property in the window. Sometimes we answer the phone. It’s just non-stop work. Can I take your e-mail address?”

Captain Mags: “Erm, that doesn’t sound like much.”

Mr. Dickhead: “We’ll also promise to lie to you about properties, lose your details, not respect your privacy and ignore your phone calls.”

Captain Mags: “Will you also promise to have appalling customer service and no business sense apart from your own rapacious thirst and immoral sensibilities?”

Mr. Dickhead: “We will endeavour to do so. We will constantly treat you as if WE’RE doing YOU a favour. Moreover, you will be shown around properties by cocky half-wits whose knowledge factor is nought and professionalism is atrocious. Can I take your e-mail address?”

Captain Mags: “Certainly. It’s CaptainMagnanimous@kissmyarseyoufuckingwankers.co.uk”

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Rebecca Steinfeld and Daniel Keidan

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This pair of fuckwits have been to the Supreme Court because they want a civil partnership. Not because they are queer, but they feel that marriage is *patriarchal*

What a load of horse shit. Why do the court waste their time on self-advertising cunts like this. They live together so I dare say he already waddles up her whoopsadaisy, dare say she tells him what to do.

I don’t even really see why there has to be gay marriage but to give two heterosexuals the *right* to something never intended for them seems a fucking waste of time.

It seems to me girly tosspots like him, and women with daddy issues ought to realise that their “problem” means fuck all to the courts or anybody who lives in the real world.

Nominated by W.C.Boggs