Cryptocurrency

It’s time we all called out this scam for a scialytic cunting ( fucking good word that).

I’ve just finished watching some bullshit artist telling me that I have a chance to invest in real estate here in Vancouver for as little as a dollar.

All I have to do is convert my dollar into a cryptotoken?? and then I’ll be registered in the blockchain ( whatever the fuck that is ) as owning 1/1,1,608,000th part of the fucking house across the street ( here’s the website by the way…. https://imbyx.com/ )
What a masterpiece of salesmanship!

I don’t know what a cryptotoken is and neither does anyone in the whole world know what one is, or what one is worth.Not only that but I don’t know what rights my share will get me.

Maybe I’ll let my self driving car take me down to their digital office and find out what the fuck’s going on.

Nominated by Paul Ya Plonker

38 thoughts on “Cryptocurrency

  1. I expect the gentlemen of Nigeria and Ghana will be offering this chance of a lifetime soon.

  2. Don’t even know why real money is… let alone this imaginary pile of cuntage.

    I await enlightenment with baited halitosis.

  3. Great and worthy cunting my North American colleague! (Equally great word…syialitic. I had to look it up.)

    Any word with “crypto” as a prefix is suspect. It conjures up images of wacky cult like figures peddling fringe theories supporting the existance of monstrous, non-human creatures like Nessie, Bigfoot or Hillary Clinton.

    More like Crapto-currency if you ask me

    🤑💵💷💶💴🤑

    • On behalf of Nessie and Bigfoot, I hereby protest in the most vehement manner possible about their inclusion in the same sentence as the waste of haemoglobin known as Hillary Clinton.

  4. I hate it when these dopey cunts buy into these things thinking they’re going to be rich over night. And then when it all goes tits up they fucking whinge about on social media or the news, saying they were “duped”

    Well tough fucking shitsticks – you didn’t do your homework, never bothered to check the small print, never dawned on you that get-rich-quick ideas are fucking scams. So don’t fucking moan that you’ve been taken up the arse by a con merchant because you were blinded by your own naked greed!

  5. Off topic but on if you get my drift
    Nicola Sturgeon SNP is that what we will be offered up as currency come her glorious twice in a generation Indy election ?
    Shower of cunts in a Wee silly scottish parliament that fucks up any decision / titbits that Westminster happens to throw it

    • The proposed currency is the wee bawbee. It will be tied to the Deutschmark (sorry, Euro) at an exchange rate of 750 wee bawbees to the Euro, before being replaced by the Euro. On the plus side there will be a wide availability of German sausages. On the minus side only the Krankies and other gravy train riders will be able to afford them.

    • Just come back from Edinburgh, I was suprised at all the new infrastructure and public transport. Who the fuck is paying for it because it certainly ain’t the Scots ?

      • It’s really quite simple :

        (1) We give the Jocks a shed load of money each year.

        (2) We give the EU shed loads of money each year – and then they give a wad of it to the Jocks (which is why they are shitting themselves at what will happen when the UKK leaves the EU)

        So who’s paying for it all? Well, the English of course. That’s why they hate us but don’t want independence.

      • UKK was a typo. But then again The U Klux Klan has a ring to it as we’re all clearly bigoted white racist supremacists who built their nation on the suffering of the black slave trade.

        I know this is true because an Africunt over here on a Rhodes scholarship told me so.

      • It’s even more true here in the states!

        By the way Pedantic One…in my former home state of Indiana the Klan once went by UKA…United Klan(s) of America.

        Does have kind of ring to it. 😬

      • I once went to Malta (circa ’83) and dressed up like a Klansman. Can’t for the life of me remember why. Got some great snaps for the family album… you can’t see my face, obviously.

  6. Police Scotland ( at snp bidding) have just had every car , van , horse drawn carriage etc painted with both English AND Gaelic words for “ POLICE”
    1.1 % of Scots speak that and I’m assuming there’s more speak different languages esp from the Indian sub continent
    Waste of fucking money by a long long way
    CUNTS

    • This shit applies in Wales where 20% can speak Welsh. Drivers crossing the Severn Bridge are greeted with welsh language signs which must be very helpful for Polish truckers etc. English comes later. There is the absurdity at Cardiff station where the signs for cabs are in 2 languages – Tacsi and Taxi. Urdu would be more appropriate and any Welsh cunt who needs a translation for taxi should fuck off back to his sheep.

      • I came across the word ARAF painted on the road before I got hit by some cunt I didn’t see. Why? What the fuck is ARAF?

  7. Well your cryptotoken as of today is worth 1 Martian zydos = £ 0.01 or 2 Vulcan doodahshhs..
    I hope this has helped PYP?
    😎

    • Fuck it. My zydos have lost value. Some cunt is Libor rigging again.

  8. An acquaintance of mine claimed to hold thousands of pounds worth of Bitcoins which he’d bought months ago with the help and advice of his computer-savvy son. I’d heard a rumour that it had all gone tits up,so when there were a few of us gathered, I asked him when he planned to retire on the vast profits that he was always “casually” mentioning …..Excellent news…..his Bitcoins have all mysteriously vanished from his “Virtual wallet”, nothing left..Just to stir the pot a bit more, I suggested to him that his son had most probably stolen them. I could see that I’d hit a nerve, it must have crossed his mind too, so I spent the rest of the evening filling him full of malt and stoking the fires of suspicion. I mentioned his son ,years ago, being caught stealing sweets from the village shop..hardly the way a private- school boy should act. I mused about the dangers of drugs seeing as his son now lives in Edinburgh and works as an unspecified “company director”. I’ve never cared for his son,always found him a sneaky,devious type,so I’m probably correct in my assumptions. If not,well,too bad,it kept me amused for the night.

    Fuck them.

    • Ho ho, very amusing Mr F…are you likely to see this fellow again soon to determine the outcome of your skullduggery? Or is the next time you see him going to be on the 6pm news when he’d gone full “Michael Ryan” and blown his son’s face off with a 12 gauge?

      • Couldn’t blame him if he did, Mr. Cunt-Engine. The son was always a fat,lazy child. I could see then that he would come to no good. Of course the parents bear most of the responsibility for the greedy child growing into the greedy adult.
        Spare the rod,Spoil the child.

  9. I’m afraid if you invest in VIRTUAL anything the REALITY is your are a CUNT!! And will probably lose VIRTUALLY everything……
    just sayin………..

  10. Westminster ‘paedophile ring’ accuser charged

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44700764

    A man (called Nick) who alleged there was a paedophile ring at the heart of Westminster has today has been charged with perverting the course of justice.

    Allegations that Lord Janner had sexually abused children first emerged publicly in 1991, but Janner denied them and no action was taken.

    In August 2015 Janner refused to attend court and was threatened with an arrest warrant (after his family said he was innocent and would not be attending and his lawyers also argued that the dementia-sufferer’s human rights would be breached if he attended) was ruled unfit to plead due to severe dementia. At the time he was already facing 22 allegations of sexual offences which dated back to the 1960’s and involved nine alleged victims, the majority of whom were 16 or younger at the time.

    Police and prosecutors were poised to bring a new set of charges against Lord Janner shortly before his death however Lord Janner died in December 2015.

    A rare “trial of the facts” – in which a jury is asked to examine evidence and decide whether the accused committed crimes – had been due to take place at the Old Bailey in April 2016 but was shelved following Janners death.

    In February 2018 Lord Janner’s son urged the CPS to prosecute ‘Nick’ over false rape allegations. Daniel Janner says he could bring private action against man who accused his father of child abuse. “Nick accused my late father of raping him – he must now be prosecuted for his lies,” he said. “If the CPS refuse, I will bring a private prosecution. The child abuse inquiry must now drop the strand in my innocent late father’s name, all the civil abuse claims against him having been dropped.”

    We will perhaps never know the full extent of the Westminster paedophile ring or whether it even existed however the CPS’s decision to do little or nothing for over many years does little to inspire confidence in the justice system, and only adds fuel to the fire in the belief that as many think there has been some sort of cover up to prevent the truth from ever being known.

    Fully expect this to go into moderation however wanted to raise the subject following today’s developments.

  11. I have a relative, who was for a while, Bitcoin this, Bitcoin that, everything a Bitcoin.Cunt
    wouldn’t shut up.
    Strangely silent recently.

    I’m all for anything that doesn’t involve the Central Banks. But as a threat, this is a million miles away….

    • You will be interested in my investment scheme then, I have created a lifesized copy of wee Nicky krankies fanny made from gold and precious gemstones, then buried it in a secret location which for 10 guineas a pop I will provide clues. First one is free, you don’t want to stick your finger in this cunt.

  12. my cryptocurrency portfolio is a daily challenge for my team of investment advisors.

    I should have been suspicious of them at the start because of their name..
    ” Smoke in a Bag” . Well….. there’s $2 I’ll never see again!

  13. Americunt investor Tim Draper is a Grade A idiot. A bona fide idiot who has repeatedly proven you can inherit money but not brains.

    He has stated the formerly cunted and now criminally indicted fraudster Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos shame is persecuted….and that Bitcoin will be bigger than the internet

    Of course the dumb cunt invested in the now now defunct Theranos and has bought a bazillion Bitcoin(s). And who would want to invest their money with a guy who has been proven to be so spectactularly wrong and has lost millions before?

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