The accident prone, the clumsy,
The 10thumbed fumbling dozy cunt, the Frank Spencer’s out there,
The don’t watch where there going.
The cant figure out a simple garden gate,
The delivery man.
I have a unusual rustic gate.
It was made by a ‘artisan’ type (??) the other day I painted it,
(Country cream) a delivery bloke came with a package,
I had the living room window open so popped my head out and said “Mind the gate!”
He looked at me like a fuckin dog hearing a whistle and put his hand on the gate getting wet paint all over his hand.
Now another downs cunts delivered a package and broke a slat as he couldn’t figure out how to open a gate.
I’ve given up.
The simple and cack-handed have beaten me.
Just like I’ll beat the next cunt I catch yanking on my gate.

Nominated by: Miserable Northern Cunt

Did you know there is a village in Switzerland called Cunter?

I’ve never been there but, apparently, it has a population of 235. I wonder if they call the people who live there……CUNTS!

If so that’s very unfair. There are far more cunts living within a half mile radius of me. In fact, the cunts are everywhere ! (There’s over 600 cunts in the House of Commons, and over 800 in the House of Older Cunts – DA)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cunter

Nominated by: Freddie the Frog

Darren Gee the YouTube gangster is a monumental cunt.

After serving years behind bars for being a public fuckin nuisance making peoples lives a misery he now spends his every waking moment offering to fight EVERYONE in dumb video clips.

He has been on every crime podcast, then within a week he is attacking the interviewers as rats, nonces, grasses etc. His paranoia is to the extreme.

Top this with his “Choose a Life Not a Knife” catchphrase which he spits out at passers by. This coming from a career criminal who in the same breath says he’s gonna waste all the grasses and rats and nonces and blah blah blah.

Oh and the icing on the cake….. wait for it.
His rapping and “freestyle” clips lol. ?
Such awesome flow as;
Your a rat
Gonna do you with a bat
Your a twat
And yer bird is fat

Darren…. you are a cunt!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYlTJcG7v1I&ab_channel=DailyUploads

Nominated by: Kendo Nagasaki

A future and mystic (Meg) cunting for Megain Hewitt for coming out with her reason for not attending the funeral and “knees up muvver brown” wake ( she would say woke ) afterwards.

I’m guessing in another explosive and revealing interview she will say she wasn’t invited because of all the racist comments we and the the royal family and press will throw at here. Nothing to do with being pregnant (pfft!!) oh no. Nor respecting the hurt and grief she’s inflicted or her Maj.

I hope that Harry finds his balls hidden in a wardrobe but I doubt it.

Fuck off future Megain you’re an open book.

Obviously if I’m wrong I shall fall on my sword with honour. Nah fuck that.

Nominated by: Once a cunt always a cunt 

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/meghan-markle-made-every-effort-23891242

….and seconded by Fuglyucker

Megan Markle is already making excuses as to why she can’t come to Phils funeral.
I’m sure the gold digging cunt is scared good old Phil may have had a plan for the silly bitch that involved a cut and shut Merc and some untraceable paperazzi…

We have had a spate of suicides off the Humber bridge recently. The footpath has been closed to pedestrians and cycles. This has lost us a great amenity and bracing walk, which is a shame.

Local news (BBC Turnip TV) interviewed a man who lost a son to bridge suicide who said ‘something must be done’ Very sad but what on earth can be done? The bridge is a huge piece of engineering which cant just have 2 metres of chain link erected. Even it it could there is nothing to stop someone jumping into the carriageway. Or simply jumping in the Humber from the bank.

And what of the Humber, Trent, Ancholme and 100s of lakes in the area? Cover them over? Fill them in? Close multi storey carparks?

Something must be done is the usual cry when someone else has to be blamed.

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

https://www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk/news/grimsby-news/wife-grimsby-man-who-tragically-5266813