We have had a spate of suicides off the Humber bridge recently. The footpath has been closed to pedestrians and cycles. This has lost us a great amenity and bracing walk, which is a shame.
Local news (BBC Turnip TV) interviewed a man who lost a son to bridge suicide who said ‘something must be done’ Very sad but what on earth can be done? The bridge is a huge piece of engineering which cant just have 2 metres of chain link erected. Even it it could there is nothing to stop someone jumping into the carriageway. Or simply jumping in the Humber from the bank.
And what of the Humber, Trent, Ancholme and 100s of lakes in the area? Cover them over? Fill them in? Close multi storey carparks?
Something must be done is the usual cry when someone else has to be blamed.
Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble
https://www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk/news/grimsby-news/wife-grimsby-man-who-tragically-5266813
Float a massive bouncy castle under the cunt.
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Set up a bungee jump as an alternative!
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Like a bridge over troubled water…
Floating trampolines are the answer.
Soon stop moping after that!
Charge £1 a go.
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Why? Surely just a viewing gallery and then both sides would be satisfied – you actually get your wish and die, and we take home a few photos of our holidays!
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Whatever you do don’t ask the question why suicide rates have shot up BBC.
Lockdown IV coming your way soon. The Indian variant is apparently possibly vaccine proof (shocked and surprised) but India isn’t on the red list. Practically an invitation to the new variant which will mean yet another lockdown if it takes off.
Quick get a film crew over to the bridge and distract the masses.
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There will be no lockdown again because if they try there will be riots.
Fucking sick of variants. There will always be variant just like there will always be politician cunts and nappy wearers willing to be locked down to “save lives”. Bollocks.
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Super-triple big mac variant! With a free side of naan and chutney.
It’s all so predictably horseshit. Yet here we are! The question is, if we go into another lockdown, will the penny fucking drop?
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Living in London I have been inconvenienced by people who throw themselves in front of trains (either on the Tube on National Rail services) in order to commit suicide. Some die, others don’t.
I hope that people who attempt suicide by methods that inconvenience others, e.g. disruption or delays to transport services, survive with the loss of limbs and/or other severe disfigurements to their bodies. Then they can spend the rest of their miserable lives contemplating what selfish cunts they are by disrupting the lives of normal decent people.
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I do feel sorry for the poor, inconvenienced people of London.
We up North don’t have any trains to jump under and have to make the pilgrimage to Wighan to jump off t’pier.
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If you hesitate in your grand exit the train can really fuck you up! The worst are on the underground, when the person doesn’t get far enough towards the centre. They end up getting sandwiched between train and platform, and spun round and round.. and if the train stops you get left in tremendous pain but alive until they roll it off you.. and then you die, after having perhaps reconsidered life. Brutal shit.
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…and what is particularly annoying is that sometimes the driver comes under investigation for not paying sufficient attention enough to prevent the collision/death!
Usually its the families who “blame” the driver, while the poor old driver is left with PTSD for the rest of his days!
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A particularly annoying fat cunt, who had been a London Bus driver prior to being on the ultimate gravy train-TFL, as a tube driver, had great pleasure in telling the tales of the various suicides, that gave him a generous payout and months of paid time off.
To eat more pies, presumably.
The fat fucker.
Known at work as “THRUSH”, because he was such an annoying cunt.
He was responsible for a mass exodus from a gun club my friend was a member of. I only met him the once and he made an “impression”👎
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Actually jumping off of the Grimsby bridge shouldn’t inconvenience anyone – apart from a few seals maybe. Good place to do it.
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Funny enough last time I went to London that happened. Shut for four hours pissed right off and had to listen to some American tourists banging on about some shit about how lovely London is. I was like wtf? I said go to the lake district. I don’t get it.
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Yes I was in the pub and I had a neck my pint situation with fellow bristolians.
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After they pull them out , the local bobby should give them a clip round the ear or a heavy fine.
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Having driven through Grimsby, I can quite understand why someone who was a resident would jump if the bridge.
😉
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*off
🍎 fuck right if….
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You must be familiar with the M180 General. The road to nowhere. Grimsby is indeed a shithole but it gives the Scunny folk somewhere to look down on.
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CG@ – “Great Grimsby”, as it’s technically known.
No, I’ve no idea either.
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Suggests that once upon a time there was a. Little/Lesser Grimsby.
Worrying, indeed. Hb
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lived there in the 60s went to school there briefly thank fuck, i fucking hated the place the kids in school thought i came from another country because of me saarf lunnen accent, and the air was always permeated with the stench of fucking fishmeal thank dog my old fella saw sense and moved back to lunnen town… and you can stick cleethorpes as far up ya shitter as you can get it too.
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“Something must be done ” Edward VIII as a response to the Jarrow march. Usually government response as in the American “New deal” and china pox is ruinously expensive and does fuck all. War is usually the best response.
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“Something must be done” goes hand in hand with that other well-worn trope “lessons must be learnt”
Both of them oxymorons because nothing ever gets done
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Maybe he topped himself because he was a white hetrosexual in this fucked up shithole of a world.
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The other sentence incompetent Politicians and Police Commissioners come out with when this sort of thing happens is LESSONS WILL HAVE TO LEARNED.
As soon as they say that it seems to automatically exonerate them from any blame.
In fact i’m going to use that phrase the next time i touch up this 18 year old office girl at work. Mind you i’m white and middle aged so i don t stand a chance.
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I should pay attention, i see Technocunt beat me to it.
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Tut tut, Lessons must be learned and something should be done about not paying attention, you silly old cunt
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Always some fucker else’s problem, isn’t it dad. Did you look after him and keep a watchful eye? Did you fuck, the the poor sod hit the buffers “something must be done”. Since he didn’t do it some other cunt has to. And on it goes.
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It’s yer mental elf innit? When Sparkletits kicks out Halfwit Hewitt he can come back and give us the benefit of his considerable expertise on the subject. It will also keep him busy lecturing us and take his mind off the fact that he’s been mugged off like a cunt.
Failing which he could always throw his wokie pokie arse off the Humber Bridge. The wanker.
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Harry can go fuck himself for all I care!
When it all goes shitshaped with sparkletits, and she uploads porn pics of him with a 12 incher up his hole, and starts bleating, I don’t want the cunt coming back over here expecting everything to return to normal while he gets comfy back at Buck House. That cunt has burnt his bridge, and hopefully he’ll be on it at the same time.
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“Something must be done” – stop jumping off it you daft sods!
I have walked across the Humber Bridge and back, it’s an amazing view but what slightly baffles me is that at low tide 2/3 of the Humber is not water it’s chest deep mud – local maniacs don chest waders and ford it (no idea either!) so hopping off it would provide some logistical challenges.
How do you stop someone suicidal jumping off a bridge? You can’t, you would just hope there is someone there to see they are in this state before the event.
Life can be a cruel and joyful business but there are no second chances at the game – gotta be in it to win it.
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Put a sign up with the phone number for the Samaritans. Use your own phone and if your out of credits tough titties.
Thats what they put at the cliffs of Mohr, another popular place to step off.
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How about just letting people end it all from the bridge? What’s the big deal? So a little public money has to be spent to drag the carcass from the water. Couldn’t be much more than some other means of trying to prevent this.
I’m all for letting someone leave if they don’t want to stay.
Suicide is someone telling God “You can’t fire me! I quit!”
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How about a (deliberate) small extended ledge with easy access? Want to top yourself and do us all a favour? Here you go – Suicide Leap.
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‘Something must be done’ is the universal shout from everybody who has NO IDEA AT ALL, what can be done! Climate Change is the one where most people shout the same thing day after day. Greta Thunderthighs, Extinction Rebellion, The Left and anybody who wants a platform scream ‘something MUST be done’. Er….. like what? Dunno, that’s up to the powers-that-be, but it ‘MUST’ be done!
Useless loud cunts the lot of them!
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About 6 months ago some young lad escaped from the hospital mental health unit and managed to throw himself of the railway bridge that is next to my house.
First thing we knew was all the lights from the emergent vehicles outside. I went in the back garden to see all the torches where the police were on the railway line. On the plus side, the young woman opposite my side garden was looking out her bedroom window with no top on, so I got a nice view of some pert tits.
Not so sure what the police thought of me playing ‘pick up the pieces’ and ‘I’ll put you together again’ whilst they searched.
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Bridges normally have helpline phones at either end. However, if you spend 50 mins waiting to get through to some non-English speaking fuckwit…
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“Hello, how can I soon be helping with your bridge problems sir today please?”
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Drain the fucking river and fill the estuary with old mattresses.
No fucking rocket science is it?
CUNTS.
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It’s probably already 30 foot deep in bikes and supermarket trollies.
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All those who commit suicide have one thing in common – they’ve had enough, and should be allowed to go somewhere and be put to sleep. It’s your life and it should be up to you. Put your affairs in order, walk in and sign the form. If you feel that way, it’s really no-one else’s business.
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Seconded.
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In the cartoon “Futurama” they have suicide booths on the street, pay your 20 cents open the door and select your method of demise, job done.
I’m sure Branson would be willing to build a few booths if it earned him a bob or two.
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Can’t understand why anyone would want to depart this wonderful modern world filled with billions of congenial and interesting individuals that is ran benevolent wise men.
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